I am sending you strength! My little guy had torticollis, and so I understand that. Do all the exercises like the PT says. Make sure she gets to her PT. This is hard, it's all hard, but, it will get better!
I would have a specialist look at the ear if you are worried about it. The torticollis is not a stiff neck, it is very weak neck muscles that need to be developed so that she can hold her head up. If she tolerates being worn, make sure she is having to use her neck muscles to look around. But, do this with the guidance of the PT. We put my son in a swing that was tipped to one side so that he had to lift his head to see straight to watch his favorite Thomas. Worked great!
I wouldn't worry about the hernia until she is older. Babies take quite a while for that hole to close in general, and a premie makes sense that it will need some time to see if it resolves itself. If it doesn't, it isn't a terrible surgery. I had it done at 29 and it was a day surgery.
I know this is hard, but you will be ok and get through this. Your little one will be fine, just follow the specialists' advice.