A Breastfeeding Question

Updated on June 06, 2011
G.T. asks from Jamestown, CA
19 answers

Since we've had the discussion about the 4yr old in the park I was just wondering if any of you guys were breastfed till age 4 by your mom and can remember doing it?

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I was not breastfed, at all. I have a friend who was breastfed until FIVE, and she remembers it. In fact, she is totally creeped out by having that memory and tries very hard to suppress it. She made it a point to wean her child right at one, and hated breastfeeding him.

P.S.
She remembers kindergarten being VERY hard, because she didn't understand why all the sudden she couldn't breastfeed...and why other kids didn't do it. Her mom never taught her how to cope. If she was upset, she gave her the breast. They ended up holding her back, because everything upset her and she was not able to soothe or cope with even the tiniest experiences.

13 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I was bottlefed, but i breastfed my three boys until about 12 months. I did it wherever and whenever it was needed. Demand-fed babies do not wait. It's about time everyone realised that children who are eating have the same rights as everyone else not to be thought of as disgusting and something to be hidden away. I love seeing babies breastfed in public because i think that's good and simply sensible societal progress. I feel very strongly that people who are offended should just grow up.

9 moms found this helpful

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

I was a formula baby - but wanted to put my two cents in on when and where to breast feed. I think of breastfeeding as the same thing as giving the baby a bottle. If its an acceptable place to give a bottle, its an acceptable place to breastfeed. For example, its NOT acceptable to sit in a toilet stall or on a bathroom floor to give a baby a bottle, so you shouldnt have to do that if you are breastfeeding.

I try to be considerate around teenage/college age boys and older men, but otherwise, I nurse in front of anyone. I do it discretely, but feel if they dont want to see, they should not look.

I dont use nursing covers because I live in Texas and its hot. Why should my baby have to drink milk in a sweltering tent, when formula babies dont have to?

10 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

the fact that it's not the norm does not mean it's wrong. few people can remember that kind of detail anyway.
i think it's very sad that so many mothers claim to be supportive of breastfeeding. until they're not.
yes, there are a few horror stories of kids who breastfed late and wish it hadn't happened. most kids who did extended breastfeeding turn out just fine. the trauma that those who are traumatized experience tends to come from the violently negative reactions of the judgmental, not the tender act of nursing.
some kids are soothed by a hug. some by a binky. some by a treat. a few by a breast.
avert your eyes, o sensitive ones.
khairete
S.

6 moms found this helpful
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T.R.

answers from Orlando on

Practically in every other country than the U.S. extended BF is the norm, and recommended, because it is very healthy, and yes, even emotionally healthy. Extended BF children do not remember the ACT of BF, as you are insinuating (that's absurd, and if they did, why wouldn't it bring back good memories, since it is directly linked to comfort and that's why the child nurses in the first place), but they do remember and grow with a very strong connection to family and a good sense of security. For example; other countries have a very low rate of divorce compared to the US, merely for the fact that the family bond and connection is much stronger than for most Americans. To contrary (American) belief, extended BF builds confidence, self esteem and a deepened appreciation for family- It's a global statistical fact.

6 moms found this helpful

M..

answers from Ocala on

I was not breastfeed.
I can't even remember that far back.

I have 4 children. I am/did breastfeed all four of them. I cover up.
I breastfeed my 1st child for 18 months.
My 2nd child for 11 months.
My 3rd for almost 24 months. ((( this child of mine is allergic to all dairy - and that's why it was so long. )))
And now my little princess ( 4 th child ) is 6 months old and I am breastfeeding her and I will do it for as long as I can / she needs it.

I did breastfeed anywhere and I still will and I will not take any bull from anyone that thinks I am wrong.

Every mother has the right to breastfeed for as long as they want. And we are allowed to do it anywhere. EVEN CHURCH. LOL......

The women that went up to that mama and yelled at her at the park were out of line.

I can't count how many times I have gone to town, to go to the store with my kids and have to see so many young ladies wearing almost nothing at all because they think they can because it's hot out. Is it right or ok for them to wear a bikini at Wal-Mart.
NO, IT IS NOT OK.
But they do it anyway.
Do people yell, NO they don't.
I would like to scream at them and tell them a few things, but am I going to do it.
NO! ~ BECAUSE IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
If I don't want to see it I need to look the other way.

Those women in the park should have looked the other way and should have minded their own business.

I say " way to go to all the breastfeeding mama's."

Well I got to go, it's time for me to breastfeed my daughter.

Blessings to all.

6 moms found this helpful

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

My Mom thought a nursing strike at 6 months was my way of self weaning... needless to say she was wrong. I remember about 2 years old and on... I don't remember having bottles then either.

My daughter I breastfed until she self weaned at 4.5 years old, 3 months before Kindergarten. She's the most outgoing, friendly, artistic and academically gifted child in her class of 9 students, in an expensive private school. <------ said to me from her main Kindergarten Teacher, her Art/Music Teacher and the Principal.

She definitely remembers nursing because on occasion, she will still cuddle up to my chest and just relax and re-charge herself when she's had a rough day. She'll be 6 y/o in Sept. She already knows her new baby brother will be nursing and talks about how much he will love it. She's never brought up breastfeeding or nursing to her friends, classmates or teachers... No reason to.

6 moms found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I can remember life in general to age 2, and a few scattered memories from apx age 18mo onward. Some adults remember NOTHING prior to kindergarten, some adults only have hazy memories until their teen years.

There's a lot of research going into memory, currently, but not a lot of findings. My personal opinion is that it's because people's childhoods AND their personalities are so different in ADDITION to brain structure.

Anecdotally: abused kids TEND to not remember most of their childhood as adults ((their memories TEND to start when the first gain control over their lives OR their living situation changes (fostercare, living with non-abusive relatives is an example; but it's only *probable* that their memories will kick in when that living situtaion changes frequently... fosterkids are actually fairly notorious for "listing" all their families they've lived with. Some will write on the bottom of a shoe, others on their leg or arm, others on a baseball cap.)) But some abused kids have vivid memories of the childhood. DITTO some NONabused kids have sketchy memories of their childhood.

Anecdotally: Kids who move frequently TEND to have earlier memories than kids who stay in the same home from birth - several years later. Military kids (moving every 2 years) tend to have memories starting at date of first move after 1yo. Why this doesn't work with kids who don't changes states/countries is unknown (but easy to theorize... air, light, smells, water, foods, sounds, weather, etc are all geographically QUITE different from moving in the same city). But not all kids who move frequently (even from states and countries) have early memories.

At this point NO ONE KNOWS why some kids and adults have early memories and some don't. Ongoing research. Again... a lot is easy to theorize (In this CULTURE most kids remember starting at K, because it's so vastly different from their previous lives in the SAHM generation... but what about kids in daycare and preschool from the Double Income generation? Is it because of the difference OR because a brain maturity level is met by the *majority* of the species by age 5?) but no one really knows as YET.

I remember back as far as 18mo... but I only nursed to 1yo. Don't remember it. I also only vaguely remember diapers... but I was totally potty trained before 18mo (none of my sibs were, though).

5 moms found this helpful

A.D.

answers from Norfolk on

i have two friends who nursed until they were both 4, and they both remember it and really do not like the fact that they remember it. One of these friends is a South African male, and he has told me that he feels like his mom was being selfish in trying to keep him a baby for too long by having him nurse (he was the youngest of 6 kids). It makes him uncomfortable to think about it. The other friend is actually my sisters sister-in-law, and she begged and pleaded with me to not nurse my kids past 18 months because she says she's very embarrassed by the fact that she nursed so long, and she just honestly isn't very comfortable around her mom because of it.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Phoenix on

So, I asked my 9 year old daughter, who BF full time until 18 mos, then just for naps and bedtime until 3 years, and did not want to wean even then, but I encouraged it....and let me add I had only planned on nursing 1 year.

She knows she was nursed. She nursed her dollies. She would still try to latch on to me for a few years after weaning if she caught my breasts in the wind, like stepping into the bath or shower.

So I just asked her your question Grandma T, and she doesn't remember. I am honestly surprised. I just assumed she would because of the duration and comfort it brought her

My understanding of childhood memories is exactly what Riley states.

Children who live in stable, loving, nurturing environments (and I think BF falls into this category) do not remember much prior to ages 3-4.

Children who are traumatized and come from dysfunction start to remember very early, prior to age 2. They suspect for survival purposes.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

.

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L.L.

answers from Hartford on

I was breastfed until I was 1 year old, so I don't remember a thing. I BF my 1st son and plan to do the same with my 2nd on the way. My son weaned before a year old. I think of it as nutrition and not so much as a comfort mechanism. Yes, it forms a bond and closeness between mother and baby, but children, even little children need to learn to self sooth. I never breastfed in public, because I didn't want to make people uncomfortable. I respect those around me and would always be prepared ahead of time.

3 moms found this helpful
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A..

answers from Kansas City on

I talked to my mom about that post and she said that's creepy and sick, so I know We weren't BF'd until 4! :)

I feel bad for Bug's friend having this memory at the age of 5.

2 moms found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Redding on

I was bottle fed as were all 4 of my siblings. I remember my M. saying it was the more modern way to raise a child. HA. Neither of my kids remember actually breast feeding but they both know they were. Son for 6 months, and daughter for about 15 months.
I will say my sister is a preschool director and had a 4 yr old student who was still breast feeding and climbed up on her moms lap and invited one of the classmates to have milk and cookies with her one day.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Both me and my younger sister were BF exclusively, but weaned before we were both 1 yr old (we don't remember, but my mom told us so... :) ). Both of us never suffered from any lack of nutrition, or lack of bonding with our mom... :)
My baby is 8 mos old, and I am BFing her. I do BF her outside the house, but always use the nursing facility. If none is available, I use my car or give her a bottle of expressed milk. Whenever I go out with the baby, I always plan and take necessary bottles. I plan to wean her completely before she is 1. She is progressing to solid foods and Sippy-cup cheerfully.
The idea of BFing kids beyond the age of 2, to me personally, is something I'd not be comfortable with. Publicly or not, once a child is grown up enough to be conscious of body parts and is beginning to develop social skills, I do not appreciate the child seeking his/her mother's breasts openly. Its not a competition to me to BF in public, as against scantily clothed young girls. I don't care about such competition. My disagreement to the concept stems from my idea of the emotional and socially proper development of my child. Its between me and my child.
Supportingly, I believe a child who is progressing normally (beginning to eat regular food and digest them well), will get their adequate nutrition from them. Also, exclusively BFing my child since her birth till she is 1, I am confident that we've already done the bonding. Afterwards, there are many more activities where she'll continue to bond and learn other ways of life. BFing is not The way anymore.
No offence to moms who think otherwise, just my humble opinion..

1 mom found this helpful

C.W.

answers from Lynchburg on

Nope...my mom was from the 'formula' generation...and she says I was 'bottle free' by 16 or so months...and no paci for me...ever.

She never questioned my desire to breast feed all my kiddos...but they were all so close in age...the older was self 'weaning' during the next pregnancy...and on to 'bigger kid' things...They all remember the 'baby' being breast fed...(except the youngest ones...only with pictures for them!)

And...lol...I am a LIVING ad for the information that breast feeding is NOT birth control!!!

Michele/cat

1 mom found this helpful
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K.R.

answers from Seattle on

My "Mother in Law" breastfed her youngest until age 5 ( until kindergarden started) and he is now 12 & when things have been brought up about it he dose not seem to remember that aspect from just a matter of years ago.... not sure that answers ur question but I hope it helps

1 mom found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

I have no memory of my mother nursing me because I was bottle fed.

I do have memories of my mother being a loving mother, because she kept me fed, clothed, and loved.

1 mom found this helpful

T.B.

answers from Bloomington on

I was bottle fed formula. I also bottle fed formula to my boys. They were both off the bottle by 13 months.

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