8 Year Old Son and Tying His Shoes

Updated on August 02, 2011
P.R. asks from Puyallup, WA
12 answers

My 8-year-old son can sort of tie his shoes, but still does not completely get it. Thanks to velcro, he is lazy about it and would rather just wear those types of shoes. He gets so frustrated when he is trying and just gives up. Does anyone out there have any good recommendations? I remember I had learned when I was about 5-6.

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So What Happened?

I told my son that he had the rest of the summer (1 month) to learn to tie his shoes and if he didn't know how by the time school started he was losing all video game privledges. I think he thought I was bluffing because he didn't show any interest. In fact, I kept reminding him of this. The day school started he was very upset that he was no longer able to play video games. It took about 2 weeks for him to realize I was serious and he decided he better learn. He might not be perfect at it, but he is tying his own shoes!!! :-)

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I am there--or was there til very recently. I have an awesome tip for you that was passed on to me:

What helped was having my son use the belt from his robe to practice.
With the robe on and we also removed the belt and had him tie it around his thigh(s). The belt is bigger, easier to see what's going on when you tie...he got the hang of doing the shoes pretty quickly after the robe belt practice.

Oh! At 8, he has now deemed velcro shoes "uncool" so that was a big part of his motivation! But he still jams his feet into the already-tied sneakers sometimes. Sigh.

1 mom found this helpful

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M.R.

answers from Milwaukee on

I just bought my 6 year old a book that he can practice tying on.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.T.

answers from Denver on

we really had to force the issue with our son, partly by nixing any velcro shoes. Laces only. We also taught him one step at a time and then it was mostly repetition. He first had to learn how to work on his laces so they were snug on his feet and do Step One which was crossing the laces over and under. Step 2 one loop about size of your finger, step 3 wind around, step 4 through the hole and pull. We let him just do one step for a few days and then when he was reasonably able to do that first step, we moved on to 2 etc.

My hubby taught him a diff. method than the one I use and my son prefers it now. Step one is over and under and pull taught (if they are thick laces do over-and-under 2x) step 2 is make a loop. step 3 is make a loop with the opposite shoe lace. step 4 is do the over-and-under step with the loops. again, if you want to double-tie just do over-and-under 2x with the loops.

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J.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Well, I know he has to learn to tie his shoes, but personally......I don't blame him.

I wish I could wear all velcro shoes! So quick to put on, they're awesome! Why aren't we all wearing them? : )

1 mom found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

take away the velcro shoes and don't buy him any more - if he only has lace up shoes, he'll have to figure it out :) we are planning to teach our 5 year old before school starts - he is rather unmotivated as well, but he's gonna have to do it. my oldest, now 8, was about 6, maybe close to 7, when he learned - he's on the autism spectrum and VERY uncoordinated or i would have done it much sooner with him!

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A.G.

answers from Seattle on

We had the exact same problem. I tried to teach my 7.5 year old to tie his shoes but he didn't want to and he just wasn't getting it. He had dress shoes with thick laces and his school shoes had Velcro. I got him a new pair of tennis shoes. They were converse shoes with the long flat laces. He picked out the shoes so he was really excited about them. The long flat laces were just what he needed. Within two days of buying them, he learned to tie his laces. Now he can do the dress shoes too. Maybe getting easier laces to tie could do the trick with your child too.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

My 10y is the same way. Our ped. recommended to get 'tie' shoes that he would wear during the weekend and velco shoes for the school week.

L.G.

answers from Eugene on

He may have trouble coordinating his fingers. Give him music lessons and he will develop eye hand coordination.

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

I had to force the issue also and not give him the velcro option. We also took a weekend and practiced it repeatedly until he "got it".

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F.N.

answers from Seattle on

Try buying different laces for the lace-up shoes, some of the "fashion" laces are easier to tie. I wanted to avoid this issue so what I've done with my boys is to not buy them shoes with velcro until they can tie their shoes. My (now) 10 year old got his first set of velcro shoes in first grade. My five year old doesn't have them yet. I do alternate with the older one still in that one pair of shoes will have velcro and then the next pair will have laces because I've found that pretty much the only time they tie bows is on shoes and it is an easy skill to let lapse.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

My 6 year old ties my 8 year olds shoes. Gotta remember to put that on my list of to do's!

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Make each string into a loop and tie the loops together. Granted I was three at the time but that is the first way I tied my shoes. It isn't quite right but it gets the job done.

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