7 y.o. Hides Hwk. and Doesn't Answer Questions.

my 5 yr old has had a hard recently here, and I feel like I am always asking the same thing over and over, I ask why as well, but the previous advice about not focusing on that made sense too.

Anyways, we started a "Good" chart, I bought a dry erase and made 5 "Good" things, Listening, sitting on carpet, walking (opposed to running in the hall), classwork, and the last was if he only got 1 warning all day (we do teddy bears too, his are blue (good), yellow (warning), he got an extra .50 because he was 'extra' good. all the other blocks was .25. It helped us focus on all the good things he did at school rather than the bad. We've been doing it for 2 weeks now and he gets disappointed when he realizes he doesn't get anything for not doing what he was supposed to, esp the extra .50. It's still a work in progress, but he is looking forward to it every day. At the end of the week, we get the quarters out and he places them on all the ones that he did good on.

Good luck!

I think that I agree with the previous post as well as I know at my children's school they send home a monthly calandar and what homework they are supposed to do. However, mine are still in Kindergarten but it seems to me that her teachers could still do the same? That way you know EVERY day what she is supposed to be doing AND she knows that you will know and will do the work.
Every day when my kids come home from school I ask them how their day was and they always volunteer the information whether or not they made it on Ready Freddy (Blue), Green, Yellow, or Red. (I am sure this might change, and I will have to come up with another plan ;())
My children have never come home on Red but one of them every once in awhile tends to get on Yellow, and she knows that there will be consequences that she doesn't like. (I can also tell as soon as she gets off the schoolbus that "something" went wrong today). Sounds to me the privelages being taken away doesn't seem to be something she really cares too much about losing-you need to find something that she really and truly enjoys and take that away from her and tell her it will be taken away till she can prove to you that she can communicate with you better and the behavior changes AND stick to it-hold your ground no matter what.
Does she get an allowance for chores? I would suggest telling her that she has daily chores to do and at the end of the week you find out that she hasn't communicated with you or got in trouble, etc. guess what - no allowance! You have to find "something" that will work and each child is different. The "who", "what", "where", and "when" are not always as important in some situations. It just really sounds like perhaps the privelages she is losing isn't something that is really that detremental to her. My kids really enjoy playing on the PC and watching T.V. but it's limited but they also know if their behavior is not on their best so to say that they will lose out on that. My kids bedroom has NO TOYS - perfect for me to send them up to their rooms and "think" about what they did and they hate that more than anything else in the world-because there is NOTHING for them to do!

I'm sure you have already gotten some helpful advice on this. Have you tried to sit down w/her as soon as she gets home from school and have her pull out all her things in her backpack. Have her get out her homework w/you sitting there next to her. You can be at the table with her while she is supposed to be doing her assignments. That will help ensure she doesn't try getting out of doing the assignments. In my opinion this will help her to see you will make sure she is doing her homework and also you are there in case she needs help with anything. I think you have done the right thing by taking privilages away from her when she breaks a school rule or doesn't do her homework. As long as she knows you will not tolerate this and there will be consequences. You could also try an earlier bedtime for punishment or no TV time for the day. What do the teachers do when they break the school rules or don't turn in an assignment? Does she get her recess taken away? Hope this problem gets better. Good luck!

Why is it important to know why she did something or who gave her the gum? Your focus might be better placed on the fact that she hid the homework, rather than why she hid it, and the fact that she broke a rule of class by chewing gum rather than who gave her the gum. In my opinion, the "why" and the "who" are not the problem in this instance. Saying to her, "I don't know WHY you did this, but if you want to tell me, we can talk about it. Meanwhile, your privilege is taken away for X amount of time for your not doing your homework (or for breaking rules at school) until...." This way, you leave the door open for her to communicate the why of her actions or lack thereof. She may not even understand the "why" her own self. You probably think if you can address the "why", you can eliminate the unwanted behavior, but that is not always true. You may have to figure out the "why" without her telling you, but that is her personal power and she may never part with it. Focus on the actions; not on the why's and wherefore's.

Sounds like the normal 7 yr old and a younger sister. Maybe the only way she gets attention is to hide her homework. Praise her for doing a good job, things she does right.

Hey honey dont feel lost you are a good mom my 9yr has been hiding homework & lying about for 2yrs iam also at my whits end... Lol however my mother suggest activities out side of school ,tutoring, counsling, & more time with mom or parents
hope this helps

good luck,

M.,
It sounds like it might be a good time to have a conference with your daughter's teacher. Teachers can be wonderful resources to help with situations like this. I would just call her teacher and explain the situation and ask if she can help in any way. This way you can get help with the homework situation and get to the bottom of why she is not telling the truth. I suggest having your daughter sit in on the conference with you!

Sounds like maybe she is looking for attention in the wrong way from you. You didn't say what grade she is in but I'm going to take a guess with 1st grade given her age.

Why is she doing this??? Probably because you are home all day speding time with her 3yr old sibling while she is stuck at school. In her eyes, she isn't getting any attention from you so she is going to get your attention buy chew gum, not doing homework, etc. What ever she can, good or bad to get your attention. What you might want to do is try setting a few Saturdays or Sundays off to the side a month and make those mommy and daughter days. Go shopping, movies, park, out to lunch....the point is to spend some one on one time with just her and only her. This will give her your full attention, something to look forward too and will grow a solid relationship between the two of you for when she gets older. Be more involved with her during the week. Don't expect her (she's only 7!!) to tell you she has homework, ask her if she has it, and ask every day!! Ask her what she learned today, not what she did cause you'll get the same answer- we didn't do anything!! After she gets home from school, let her have a snack and slow down from her day, the have her do homework and make yourself available to her for help if she needs it. Give your 3yr old a nap if that is the time or something quiet for her to do that she doesn't need you for during that time. And then try to give your daughter some time in the evening before bed too. Even if it is just snuggling on the couch watching TV for a 1/2 hr.

I'm saying all this based on my family. I'm a SAHM with an 8yr old and a 2 1/2 yr old!! I've delt with stuff like this with my daughter and I've found that give her some extra mommy time, she improved on her behaviours and attitude.

Good luck and I hope you guys can get this figured out and you can start to build a great relationship with your children better than what you've already got!!

S.