7 Year Old Boy Hates 2 Year Old Brother

Seriously, if you can write "I'm at the point where i dont wanna be in the same house as the 7 yr old," then you need to live somewhere else and let this boy's parents handle their children.

I have two questions. Do the boys have the same mother? When did the parents split up? I ask because depending on the situation surrounding the relationship between the two boys, could it be possible that the older one blames the younger one for Mommy and Daddy not being together any more? I mean, I could be way off base with that, but it's the first thing that came to mind when I read your post. Of course, the lack of discipline and intercession on the part of the parents doesn't help any, but I would think there is something more going on with the 7 year old than he's just being difficult.

As for you dealing with it, you shouldn't have to. You're not married to this guy so you're not responsible for his kids. The only suggestion I have for you there is for you to just not see your boyfriend on the weekends he has the kids. Of course, if you live together that doesn't work, but it's the only suggestion I have for you...sorry.

I actually really agree with Denise P.
edited: I usually would say with a child you need to take your time but my friend went through this and stuck w/ a relationship for over 3 years and it finally ended because her bf's two boys were just that bad. She could not stand being in the same house as them. If he is as bad as you say then let the parents deal with him and you need to move on.

It sounds like this boy needs discipline and counseling. I bet he is acting out because he feels things that he cannot express. It really sounds like this boy is troubled.

It's up to you what you want to do while his parents work on this boys behavior. I don't know how serious your relationship is. But I really think this boy needs help now.
Good Luck!!

First of all, my experience has always shown little boys FAR whinier than little girls, I hate that stereotype! Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I think a lot of the behavior you mention is normal for a 7yo.

Hating his brother and not wanting to sit on the same couch as him is somewhat normal, hitting him is obviously not allowed, and should be punished. Kids definitely have gotten worse about eating, I think all the quick options like nuggets and mac n cheese have made us parents soft. We would have had to sit at the table until we finished our plates or it was time for bed, for our kids, we're just happy to get them to eat anything, so as a group we've become a bunch of enablers of picky kids.

There's not much you can do since you are not the parent. You can tell him (or have your BF tell him what behavior is NOT acceptable in his house), but otherwise your hands are somewhat tied. The only advice I have for you, is that it is possible that he notices his behavior is getting to you, and that might make it worse. He may be upset his parents split so he may want to drive you away. Good luck, and if your bf is unwilling to acknowledge a problem, then I agree with the moms that say you might want to get counseling or get out of the relationship.

First I am not a fan of living with a boyfriend till you are married. Next your bf needs to discipline and you have no business saying anything to this kid, it is his parents job to discipline him. The boy's father must step in, he is abusing this child and to allow this child to get discipline and counseling the other child needs to be separated from him.

I think you should move out and not go back till things change and you guys are married. Not what you wanted to hear but you guys aren't helping this kid and you are not not protecting the other child.

Not your kid...so it's not a "we" thing. The mom and dad need to address it...and fast! If a kid's that annoying at 7...imagine him at 13 or 14! Sounds like the parents are weak to put up with his behavior. My kids were never in control of what they ate when they were 7...I was! He shouldn't have the option of only eating junk. Are you sure this is the type of guy you want to be with? One who won't discipline his kid or provide proper nutrition? Just sayin'.

if you really want to be with the boyfriend, then i would say COUNSELING. My sister went through a very similar situation, and it got really bad about 3 months before they were married, that they went into counseling, and it did a world of difference for them. Your boyfriend has some issues, that he needs to deal with, but he doesn't see it. That's what happened with my brother in law, and once they were pointed out to him By SOMEONE ELSE, the counselor, he was able to start working on them.

i would suggest you get out of that house with your son and find somewhere else to live for now. do the counseling, and see what happens.

I agree with the previous posters. You don't want to raise your little one around that kind of behavior. Give your boyfriend the chance to deal with the behavior but if you don't see results, and soon, then I would get your son out of that toxic environment.

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Oh, I assumed that the younger boy was YOUR son with your BF. If neither of the children are yours then I suggest that you butt out of it, move out and don't come back until you're married. I am also not a fan of living together before marriage.

Hi, J.:

You said it: You don't want to be in the same house as he.

Any time a behavior is out of control, there is an unmet need.
Have a family sit down together in a circle and ask him these questions?
1. What happened?
2. What were you thinking of at the time?
3. What have you thought about since?
4 Who has been affected by what you have done? In what way?
After he answers this, interject how you have been affected, and the other person states have he/she has been affected. (Use I statements when your feeling statement. Do not blame him)
5. What do you think you need to do to make things right?
(After he answers this, ask him to tell you what he needs before he gets upset)

Good luck.
D.