7 Month Old Not Understanding No

I think 7 months is too young to expect anything! Just keep telling him "no" about the things you don't approve of and it will eventually sink in, but I wouldn't expect a 7 month old to do anything other than what they want to do.

Say NO - if it's not serious. But if it's a dangerous situation say DANGER! This differenciates between NO - where you don't want him to say, throw his food - and DANGER - where it is a dangerous situation - say, a hot pot. The tone you use is very important too. Say DANGER in a louder voice.

He may not know the meaning yet, but he will see there is a difference.

He is VERY young to be disciplined. I have a 7 month old who is also crawling/cruising/trying to walk, and all you should really do is avert the attention and replace what they are doing with another activity that is safer. If you think it's bad now, just wait a few months, this will be remembered as a piece of cake.
My advice, instead of trying to change the behavior, is to change the environment so they can explore anything they want, they are just learning about their world and it makes it easier for everyone to just let them. Also, strap them to the changing table, or change them somewhere else.

K.,

I have two boys, and my first one would literally pull the curtains off the wall -- at two years old. It is all about talking and redirection. Especially at this age. Chances are he still has no clue what words mean. He has to put an action with a word or an object with a word.

For instance, if you are eating breakfast, give him his at the same time. Tell him "this is your breakfast and this is my breakfast". If he yells, put your fingers over his mouth and tell him "NO YELLING". If he continues, take him out of the high chair and put him on the floor and continue your breakfast. Tell him when he stops yelling he can have his breakfast. When he stops (even if just for a second) ask if he wants his breakfast. It will take forever-- but he will get it. I work with Autistic children, and if we can teach them language, you can teach your son.

I also recommend NEVER giving in to the screaming. I would wait for him to stop screaming then put him back in the high chair and wait for him to stop yelling (again if necessary)and as soon as he does, give him his breakfast. He will quickly associate patience = what I want and yelling = nothing. Again, a trick we do with the Autistic children. We once had a mother come in and ask "How do you get my son to sit politely with his hands on the table while he waits for snack". We told her because they all know they do not get it until that is how they are sitting.

Not that your child is Autistic, but I am saying it is difficult to teach Autistic children because they have trouble learning and understanding language. However, the techniques are very helpful with all children!

If he is getting into something he should not, then you have to tell him NO and then move him to something else he is allowed to have. I would also talk to him and say "You cannot play in the toilet, but you can have your blocks". At 7 months the attention span is so small that you can normally redirect without a lot of fuss. If he gets really angry and has a tantrum, I would have one place to put him until he quiets down -- porta crib or chair or something. No toys until he calms down. However, I wouldn't start being too strict until he is older 12-14 months at least. At this age, I would label and redirect!

Good luck!

As a mother of four very well-disciplined children, please hear me when I say that much of the advice you have been given will do nothing but cause you trouble for years to come. Do not believe for a minute that your son must be allowed to have his way. Do not believe for a minute that 7 months old is "too young" to be disciplined - nothing could be less true. The truth is, if you don't start now, you will be fighting him and losing for a long, long time to come. He is learning now, right now, how to act, and how to respond to you (and your mother - she has to be in on this too since she's taking care of him for most of the day). He must learn to stop, immediately, when you say "NO!" You must say it loudly and firmly, and accompany it with some physical action. (I know there are some who disagree, but I am convinced that a small slap to the back of a child's hand at 7 months old will save many, many heartaches later.) It is necessary that you get his attention quickly, and make him sorry that he does not have your approval. At 7 months old, this is what he will understand. He will not understand the words you use, but he will most definitely understand the tone of your voice. I do agree that it is very effective to move him immediately to another place or redirect him immediately to something he is allowed to play with. There is no need for long lectures. You are bigger than he is and he needs to know that YOU are in control. He is testing his limits, and the very best thing for him is to find out that there are some. Don't let HIM decide what the limits are - YOU need to decide. And stick to your guns. When all else fails, pick him up and put him in his crib, walk out and shut the door. (I know someone will say you shouldn't "abandon" your child, but trust me, he'll be fine.) The goal of discipline (which does not mean punishment, it means teaching) is that your child will learn to respond to your instructions promptly, without question. He will not do this because he "knows" that it is best for him in the long run, he will do this because parental approval is important to him - even at 7 months. Especially at 7 months. Gush and love on him when he is good, and every time he makes a good choice. Speak sharply to him and physically move him away whenever he makes a bad choice. He will learn very fast what makes you happy, and that is your most powerful tool. The younger he is when he learns this, the easier it will be to raise him well. Please trust your instincts that his behavior needs to be addressed. He is not too young.

I agree with the other posters that 7 months is too young to be disciplined. I think you are getting ahead of yourself and most definately confusing bad with active. A 7 month old baby can not be "bad" or "devient". He is just in the very beginning stages of learning what No means. This will be a very long process that will last well into toddlerhood. And at this age he has no concept whatsoever of "you need to stay on the changing table". He can not yet understand the idea of consequences. My son is 11 months and would crawl off the changing table in heartbeat if I turned my back on him. In fact, I learned that lesson the hard way because we ended up in the emergency room when my daughter rolled/fell off the changing table at 8 months old (she's now 3).

Also, babies cry. It is their only form of communication. I know it can get extremely frustating, but he is doing it because he wants your attention. It's unclear from your post, but I'm assuming that you have already fed him before you sat down to eat your breakfast. If not, he's probably hungry. And if so, try giving him something like the baby biter biscuts or cheerios to satisfy him while you're eating. And I think my daughter was 2 and a half before she stopping fighting me on getting in the carseat. It's just something they do and everyone I know has gone thru it.

At this point, I would focus your energy on redirecting. If he's playing with the dog bowl...say a firm NO and move him away from it. You will probably have to do this many, many, many times, but he will learn. The key is to STAY CONSISTENT. You can't let him jump on the couch sometimes and then other times tell him no. He really will get confused if you do that. If you have a rule...be sure to stick to it always (no exceptions). If you stay consistent and redirect the behavior, he will eventually get it.

Alot of these things (obedience etc) are learned process that will take a good portion of their childhood to learn. Your baby is perfectly normal...so don't stress yourself out. He's only going to be a baby once so enjoy these funny (though sometimes frustrating) moments.

Of course your son isn't old enough (yet!) to understand "no" without all the inflection, tone, facial expressions, and possible physical redirection that go with it. My 15 month old daughter still fights me in the carseat and on the changing table. I find that looking at her sternly (and changing to a smile as SOON as she's quieted down), and physically holding her in place (hold him FIRMLY at the hips until he stops arching for the carseat), as well as a short sentence of explanation works well for her.

I also find that "no" (and all its surrounding actions) is most effective when I don't hold grudges. As soon as my DD has regained her composure, so do I (at least on the outside!!), and sometimes I even lead her into it, right when she's on that verge of either getting over it or carrying on, I help her get over it. This works for all kinds of behavioral corrections (don't pull the cat's tail, take the dog's bone, picking up Mommy-and-Daddy objects (phones, remotes, household decorations), fingers in sockets, and so on).

Also, be consistent, even when you don't feel like it. If you don't want to share your food, then don't (ever! ...for now). Let him scream and howl (at home), and DO NOT give in. After maybe a week of screaming at every meal, he should get the hint that he simply doesn't eat food off your plate. You can try mini-redirections, but they may not work well at first.

Best of luck!!!

WOW! not even 7 monts old and already doing all of this? That sounds more like an 18 mos old behaviour!! Maybe he'll get it out of his system so his 2's will be easier on you.
Is there a possibility he could have a food allergy? just because they don't break out in a rash or throw it up doesnt mean there isn't an intolerance- a lot of times food sensitivies make thier way known by behaviour. a lot of times it's either milk or wheat. could you removed milk and milk products for maybe 4 days and see if this makes a difference?
Also- I'll just reiterate what everyone else said- do not give him anything when he screams-and make sure to tell him no screaming- when he stops put him in his high chair or give him what he desires. As far as the car seat- I am so sorry - my first and third hated the car (they both have food allergies and sensory issues) (BTW_ nothing that anyone else would notice just me and my husband...)I know how horrible it is- also- make sure your mom is using all the same discipline tactics as you are when you are working- if there is inconsistency- it won't get better.
Try the babywise book too- I used it for my #1 son and he was so obedient! 7 months is so young for this behaviour- yes boys are VERY active and into everything- I have 3- it's constant!! BUT- you can teach him to behave- just make sure you are looking beyond the behaviour too- what inconsitency is there? could there be a food intolerance? etc...
Good luck to you!!
Nikki

Of course he does not "understand right from wrong". He is seven months old, not seven years. Every new baby comes into this world with complete lack of knowledge. So whatever you can teach him, especially in the first few years of his life, that is what he will base the rest of his life on. Huge responsiblity that a parent has, to teach what is acceptable and what is not and do it all without squelching that child's natural curiosity. At this age, containment is the best answer. Playpens are wonderful things -- creating a safe area for him to explore and play in without inhibition. Put toys in there with him that he can safely play with. When he's down and crawling around, get down and crawl with him -- he'll love it -- and when he reaches something that is a "no no", stop him gently, look him in the eyes and shake your head "no" and say "no no", put it back. You may have to repeat this a lot before he "gets it". Distract with things that he CAN play with. He's going to scream sometimes -- that's what they do -- but he cannot scream forever and a lot of what is going to happen between the two of you is a battle of wills. By the way, did he start the screaming when putting him in the car only since he's been going to your mom's? Could be some separation anxiety in this for him, too. He's not "bad". He's as normal as normal can be. Get some earplugs if you can't let him cry it out now and then -- he's just exercising his lungs and he'll be fine and will eventually understand that he cannot get his way by screaming. Hang in there!!

K.,
Children at that age don't know right from wrong and may not remember from time to time that you have told him not to do something. He will need lots of reminders. However, the trick at this age is to not make a big deal out of it. Come up with short phrases that he can remember easily, for example "no, not safe" or "we walk on the ground", or "we use a quiet voice inside". He may be testing you and sensing that he is getting to you. So, don't sweat it. Children will act like this at this age, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't help them learn what is appropriate. Just tell him what you want him to do and then redirect him. If he is not staying on the changing table, change his diaper on the floor with your leg over his belly (I have to do this with my little one)!

He isn't being bad, but that doesn't mean it is ok. Discipline is difficult at that age because he really doesn't understand no.

I found redirection to work really well at that age. On the changing table I would give DD a toy or some safe object that would keep her interrest. If it is dangerous then it needs to be addressed. Sometimes though I found with my DD she would do things for attention. Standing on a chair for example - she will stop if I don't look. This is ok for her small chairs but not if she would really get hurt.

As for screaming, don't give in. Sometimes you just have to let them go. We didn't have to do this too much until she was older but occasionally we would put her in her crib if it was out of control. Sometimes she really was sleepy and would fall asleep, other times it just gave both of us a break to calm down (where I knew she was safe).

YES HE CAN BE DISCIPLINED!! The earlier you start the better and he will understand. Take it from a 62 year old with 3 grown children and 5 grandchildren. All who have turned out great!!

WAaaaayyyy to young to be disciplined!!
I have two children, 7 yrs, and 18 months. My baby girl is so rowdy just like your son. Im have had moments of panic about her rowdiness too but seriously, you just have to go with it.
You can still tell them no, no but most of the time they wont listen. Keep doing it though because they are all building blocks for when the wild tantrums start!
But no, 7 mo. is wayyy to young. Just try to have fun. Get him so kids music for the car. Sing songs on the changing table to keep him there. I used to have a bucket of toys there to keep her from flipping off.
I will tell you it there personality. My 7 yr old son was so mellow and content and still is. My daughter came out fiesty. She was colic and wanted the world to know she was there right away.
Goodluck. Take a deep breath and work through it. I know how you feel. My daughter is starting to tell me 'no no' now. She lays on the floor if we are out in public and she doesnt get her way. She is only 18 mo. Whew. I just try to not get to bent out of shape about it but I can assure you its not every day.

Hi K.,

My 8 month old son does all the same things with the exception of screaming when I put him in his car seat. I just think it's all normal and that your child is like mine very active. They do understand some things but I think it's a little early for discipline and understanding No but do think it's right around the corner however. I know it's hard because I have my moments but we have to be patient. I am constantly reminding myself of that and calming myself down. Hope this helps.

Big stuff!
I have a girl and I understand boys can be way more active. Hopefully you will receive some great information regarding gender needs.
When I wonder about intensity or illness I immediately look to the diet. There is a great book Eat Right for Your Baby. It lists a great guideline regarding foods for your baby to eat and your baby's blood type. I have seen it help. Also, I have seen Chiropractic help with intensity. It can help relax the body so that babies can handle more input, like unwanted stimulus, and they are able to work more cooperatively.
How wonderful he is already walking around furniture! Busy guy!!!
My daughter started grabbing from my plate very early. I just started feeding her solids and I made sure I had food she could eat on my plate, but at some point you may want to stop that behavior. Maybe you could just put the food on your plate first and then transfer it to his plate in front of him.
As for the carseat, I avoided it as much as I could. She wasn't a screamer generally, but my housemates son had bone chilling screams, even for her. So I understand. We just tried to support more peaceful responses from him by looking for ways around the situation but, most often he just needed to schrill! He is now almost 3 1/2 and a great little boy who how talks about his feelings and his needs.
If there is something you will not tolerate you can tell him what is OK and not OK. Then if he continues to do it you can tell him you will pick him up and move him to do something else and you can continue to do that, calmly, until he gets you are serious and it is a real boundary.
I avoided using the car seat if I could. Sometimes we would use mass transit and a carrier. Can you imagine being a baby and just learning to move so well then being strapped down.
You may want to change him on a mat on the floor. I may be too dangerous otherwise.
As for using the word no, I avoided that as much as I could too but just offering alternative activities and maybe saying, if I had to use a negative, that is not OK, and you can do this!
You may want to speak with Grandma to make sure both households are consistent with behavior challenges and how to handle them.
Hope this helps!

he's exploring remember he doesn't know what injury is nor does he understand it so he doesn't have enough brain development to get the concept on no either. I think he's normal being curious and you may wan to go to the library and look at some books on maybe the 1 yr of childhood before you consider him being disobedient. It is very young for him to want your breakfast just yet and his yelling is expressing himself since he doesn't know words yet, you may want to consider some books on learning sign lang babies can learn it and around 1 yr old can learn to sue it to express things they need, like food or more food or drink, happy, sad want to bed held...those kind of things. Many babies scream being put in a car seat maybe some positive words like shh it's ok baby go for ride, could help in a nice voice or reassurance to him.

I have also heard that with this age saying "Stop" may catch their attention quicker than no. And, in situations where safety is a concern, like walking on furniture, stop may have better results for you.

You really can't yell at a baby this age, tho I know it can be frustrating. I taught my kids baby signs which helped a lot with the yelling. It takes a lot of modeling and repetition, but helps them to communicate when they aren't yet verbally ready.

I also used tips from the book Babywise II -- for babies 6-18 mos (I think that is that ages the books seeks to cover).

Sounds like you have an active one, and from what I can see with my son, it doesn't change. He is 4 and climbs the outside of the staircase, and jumps out of trees that other 4's he plays with can't even begin to climb You just have to do what you can to keep them safe and teach them right from wrong as they age.

For the car seat, if you have the chance, borrow a friends seat for a day or two and see if it makes a difference. Some babies react better to some car seats. If he is still in the infant carrier, it may be time to move to a rear facing real car seat. And, as for the changing table, give him something to play with, and of course, never walk away. He does not understand and probably just wants to be with you.

Good luck! B.

You just hang in there. Babies start to understand things as they get older but when they are 7 months, I personally feel that you have to redirect them. And do not lose control because when they get older they will try and use that against you. At 7 months I am clear one of my sons knew what he was doing when he would spit out his food (only green veggies)He is now 11 yrs old and does not like green veggies (he is forced to eat them). Be patience and don't feel overwhelmed. Kids are alot smarter than we as adults give them and they can learn to play you at a very early age. Be firm and good luck:)Just wait until they start talking and really walking, that is when the fun begins.

Hi K.,
First congratulations on your son and also i completely understand your aprehentions as a first time mom. There are many questions and sometimes not too many answers and we are always second guessing ourself thinking there must be something wrong with us or the way we are doing things... now THATS normal.
Your son is only 7 month old, so he doesnt understand right from wrong yet, you are right on that one. Neither can he understand the cause-consecuence (sp) effect. That's why even if you tell him a million times that climbing is dangerous and he is going to fall, he'll do it over and over,not because he is desobidient, but because he doesnt grasp that concept yet.So (and you're right again), thats why disciplining him at this age wont work. He is NOT being bad, he is just at that point in where he feels secure enough to venture a little on his own, and that's a good thing.
Now, you still need to continue setting the boudaries for him, with firm NOs. If he is trying to grab your breakfast for instance and he can't have that food then gently pull his hands back and look at him and say NO. If he is climbing or screaming because he doesnt want to be strapped to his chair, then keep on saying NO, no screaming!, bring him down the furniture and repeat the stern but direct NO. Repetiton, repetition, repetition. He is after all, still an infant, so dont get too frazzle thinking you are doing something wrong. He is just turning 7 months, so he is discovering a whole new world now that he is more mobile, CELEBRATE THAT! and redirect him when needed. Also explain this to your mom, so both of you are in the same page...remember, he is still an infant. I don't know if you have this book, but it did help me a lot with my first child its "what to expect the first year". Is a questions and answers book with a lot of great information.
I hope this helps you a little.Enjoy your son, this stage goes by SO fast!And dont worry too much, you are doing great!
Many blessings!
A.

yes that's normal, and when he gets into trouble tell him no pick him up and redirect him to something he can do, at that age they are usually fairly distractable if you have the right thing, ie a favorite toy, or stuffed animal etc.He's not disobedant he's curious. And make sure he's wrangled into a room where he's safe , and there's nothing that he's not supposed to have down low enough for him to get at.Stay on the changing table , you should be RIGHT there and if he won't stay still put him on the floor to change him and give him a toy or teething ring for him to play with so he's not bored, believe it or not they do get bored at that age. And with the breakfast thing it looks like he's telling you he want's table food. at that age I don't think its too early to give him cherios or other finger foods.

Yep, been there...still there, in fact, but it's getting better. Let's see if you can relate: you're sure that the emplyees at the baby store you frequent think you're a horrible mother because you have to physically drag your child, kicking and screaming, out of the store each and every time it's time to leave. You're afraid to take your child to a restaurant because he can't keep still and quiet and you're sure the other patrons are scowling and wondering why you can't make him mind. Uh-huh...know the feeling.

Your friends will tell you it's normal, but everyone else will tell you that THEIR child never did those horrible things at that age. Here's the secret: if they tell you that, they're lying.

Start teaching no now, but don't expect him to learn it for awhile. My son (2 yrs. old and very active) is still learning that "no" means "no" in every situation. Be consistent, which I'm sure you are. Realize that baby-proofing is a good thing. But the REALLY difficult thing to do is be thick-skinned about other's opinions. There's no doubt that your son will be challenging and irritating at times, but at that age, that's in his job description.

At this age, you are teaching him right from wrong more than anything. When he is climbing up something unsafe, say no climb and put him with his toys away from the object. And you'll do it 50 times a day!! When he screams, tell him sshhh, no screaming and you can even put your finger up to your lips when you do it. You'll feel like a broken record and soon you'll realzie that your son understands you because when he is climbing up that thing you told him 1,000 times not to do, he will look at you and either A)simle and keep going or B)get down from it and wait till your back is turned!! Then you can start the discipline for that action!! Even if it is time out in his high chair for 1 min!!

And I see that you said your mom watches him while you are at work, she needs to be on the same page as you on this as well. Along with daddy. If you don't want him climbing up the TV at home, he isn't allowed to do it at G-ma's house either!!

Good luck!
S.

He can be disciplined. And if you start saying no now, it will get easier as he gets older. I would lightly flick mt children on the hand when they did not listen. They get the point. Children are not stupid and NEED limits. Set them now so you don't have to fight so hard later. Good luck!

Hi, K.,
You are right in that he is too young to be disciplined (with any success), but this is the perfect time for you, and him, to get used to the idea of you disciplining him! Since there's not a single day when you will wake up and say "Today my son will listen to me and obey!" start now so that when he GRADUALLY starts obeying, you'll both be in the habit (does that make sense?). So when he screams for your breakfast, calmly answer, "No, this is Mommy's, your breakfast is in front of you." If he takes a bite of his own food, praise him "mmm, your breakfast is yummy! good for you for eating your own food!" When he screams in the car, say "Yes, it's frustrating when we get in the car and you don't want to, but we have to go to the store." Of course he won't stop carrying on, but your calm (non)reaction will at least show him that his crying doesn't determine YOUR actions. On the changing table, hold him firmly on it while saying "Thank you for staying on the table, good boy!" SOMEday, he'll actually obey and you'll be saying the same thing and really mean it!
I hope this answer helps and isn't too long. Good luck and enjoy! (have you read On Becoming Babywise? WONDERFUL book!)
M., mom to 2 boys 3.5 and 2 years.

He's exploring and learning, totally normal. Yes, seven months is too young to understand No. The brain is the last part of the baby to develop and that continues until 24 months.

At seven months, all we did was redirect and refocus our daughter at that age. They also have no concept of loud and soft. If you sing softly when he's yelling, it might distract him.

I always shared my food with my LO, as she was curious about tasting. And there's nothing wrong with giving a baby table food to taste.

Just relax, and enjoy the little explorer age. You don't have to CONTROL your children to get good behaviour, just be a good example. Make sure your house is child-proofed, set up things that he CAN get into and explore.

Now at fifteen months, our daughter does know and understand NO. And she stops and yes, she will pout, but that's also age appropriate.

I know how hard it is to work and take care of a baby. Mine spends a full work day in daycare. The last thing I want at the end of a long day is a power struggle at home. Take a deep breath and let it go. He's learning to be his own little person, it's a great age. He's not pushing buttons, he's not being disobedient, he's learning, absorbing the information around him.

You have the power to either view this as disobedience or as the learning process. You just have to decide which way works best for your family to ensure peace and a happy home.

7 month olds dont understand no!!!!!!!!!! my two and a half yr old still has trouble. Try redirecting his energy, i felt the same why...my son is more physical than intellectual. his body was why ahead of his mind and it was hard to put into perspective. and still is, sometimes. he is a baby, let him enjoy it and you will to. child proof and have safe areas, so u can relax. my son wasnt happy in the car till i turned him around, i did it early cause he met hight & weight requirements and i tried to eat things i didnt want him to have when he slept, sometimes a towel on the floor is safer than the changing table. right now is the time to teach and have fun, not disipline. reward positive behaviors! good luck, you're not the only one, we all struggle, you'll make it.