7 Month Old Not Sleeping Through Night in His Own Crib

He's just now getting to the separation anxiety phase. It's totally normal, and you'll still have to parent him at night. Crying should get him what he wants, it's his main method of communication at that age, and sometimes he's scared and lonely and needs you.

C.,

Ask yourself (not the experts or the baby books) the following questions and follow your instincts:

1. Does it make sense that a 7 month old who can't do anything independently for himself like bathing, dressing, moving, eating, etc., should be expected to sleep "independently"?

2. Does it make sense that the cry-it-out method so highly touted in most circles teaches the baby anything other than the plain and simple message "you can cry all you want, but I'm not going to come, so you might as well not bother me"?

3. Does it make sense that Americans are deluded into thinking that babies should sleep independently and quietly down the hall, out of our hair, when most other countries around the world follow a cultural standard of co-sleeping in one form or another, and have for centuries?

4. Does it feel right or good to you that when you follow your instincts, you are made to feel by society that you are an incompetent mother?

5. Does it make sense that the societal "norm" requires the expenditure of your hard earned dollars on all sorts of "expert" advice books and silly gadgets to make the baby "perform" the way the advertising and marketing efforts of the baby profiteers have succeeded in brainwashing us mothers into thinking they should behave?

6. Does it make sense that it is "normal" for kids to sleep independently, when an informal survey of most families reveals the practical truth: that most kids need nighttime parenting and the kids end up crashing somewhere near mom and dad much of the time, often up until the age of 10 or so, because that's the only way anyone can get any sleep?

Follow your instincts. You also might try "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. Good luck!

C. each child is so different, however with both of my boys consistency was key. My youngest is 17 mos old and I know for a fact that at 7 mos he wasn't making it all the way through the night. My 5 year old definitely didn't. With both kids we had a routine: dinner, bath, quiet time (reading/music), rock, and down for bedtime. It took awhile to see results but it worked. Also keep in mind that at 7 mos so much could be going on.....teething, growth spurt, I miss mommy. I have no problems with a family bed, but unless that is a routine you want to keep up with I would avoid taking him back to bed with you. I learned the hard way with my oldest :)

Do what feels right, not what the books say, or what your family says, or what you've heard you should be doing. You know your child better than anyone. I am not a believer in the cry it out method. If a child is crying, then they need you. He may be teething or sick or just want his mommy. Do either you or your husband not want him in bed with you? If it is ok with the two of you then don't worry about it. I was really uptight with my first son. I wanted him to fall asleep on his own, him to sleep in his own bed and all the other things the books say to do. My son didn't read the book! So after a while I just did what I thought was best for both of us. If he wanted to sleep with us, then I let him. My son is now 4 1/2 and sleeps in his own bed every night and has for several years. Just because your son wants to sleep with you now, doesn't mean he will forever. As far as crying to get what he wants-he learned that several months ago. Babies are pretty smart!! Good luck to you and enjoy your little one. He won't be little for long!

I think if he's been clingy lately, then something is going on whether it's a cold, teething or a developmental milestone. I think you'd feel better all the way around if you gave in to what he needs now.

You have the rest of his life to teach him lessons and he's too young. Believe me - you'll feel better nuturing your boy and it sounds like that's what he needs right now.

Good luck to you - may you all sleep peacefully. :-)

I know soooo many mothers who have successfully and peacefully solved infant sleeping issues through www.babywhisperper.com. I would highly recommend you investigate them and give their methods a try. I know they also have a forum where you can ask mothers who are experienced in their methods questions.

Sounds like you trained him to finish the night in your bed!

You got lots of good advice both ways. Let us know what method you chose (to cry or not to cry) and how it went!

I have had great success with all three of my daughters using the "On Becoming Baby Wise" book bu Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam. My first daugther starting sleeping through the night just after 3 days of using his suggestions. Good luck and God Bless.
K.
About Me? SAHM of three daughters, just moved to Prosper from California and runs two business's from home.

Hi C., My husband and I recently went through this with our little boy. He is now 10 months old, but when he was about 7 months, he was not sleeping through the night and really crying at night. :-( His pediatrician recommended the book "Good Night, Sleep Tight: The Sleep Lady's Gentle Guide..." by Kim West. I have to say that her method has helped us tremendously, and it is indeed gentle. We had tried the "cry it out" method, but it did not work and actually made things worse. The method in her book really helped us though! It takes a commitment on your part, but it was definitely worth it for us. Good luck!

as hard as it is crying it out works! Think of it as you are teaching your son an important skill: how to fall asleep on his own! I would go check on him, don't pick him up! then let him cry for 20 minutes then check on him again in 20 minute intervalls. I know it's hard but it toke me only 3 nights. 3 nights for months and months of peaceful sleep! You need your sleep to to be the best mom you can! Not only turn off the moniter but close all the doors. If you really can't stand it get in the shower. Watch the clock too because you would be amazed at how time slows down when your baby is crying :)

I couldn't stand the thought of letting my daughter cry it out, but after 7 months of getting up 2 or more times a night, working full time and going to school part time I couldn't take it anymore. I finally let her do it and it took 3 nights to get through it all. She is now a fabulous sleeper. She's 16 months old, will walk to her crib when I tell her it's time to go to bed. I pick her up, lay her down and she falls right to sleep. If she does wake up at night, very rarely, she goes right back to sleep on her own.
I absolutely hated using this method, but it worked like a charm and I now have a fabulous little sleeper.

He is crying because he has been taught that when he cries, you come and he gets his way. When you are sure he isnt teething, he is clean and comfy, you may HAVE to let him cry for a bit. If you dont, he will continue this for who knows how long. If he wakes at 2, I would give him his binky or lovey and a pat on the back and walk out and DO NOT PICK HIM UP. I would do this a max of three times. After that, I would let him cry. At this point after checking in, you know he is safe. I may get flames for this but I even turned off my monitor so I couldnt hear him. Hey! I had to get some sleep for work! He caught on very quickly (he was about 4 months) and started to sleep all night long because he learned how to soothe himself to sleep. We still put his binky in for him until he learned to find it himself. It may be a yucky couple of nights but the payoff is ENDLESS! Good luck.

Hi C.,
My advice is a little different so you can take it for what it's worth. I have two friends who just did this. I think babies have different personality types (obviously)) and some just don't cry it out... they escalate and it lasts for over an hour. If your little man is like that then this may help. When the crying started my friend would put the rocker next to the crib and just pat his back. He still cried, but it was a different cry because he knew she was there. The first night it lasted for a couple of hours, the next night it was about an hour, the next was 30 min.. and you get the picture. It will be so tiring for you at first but she said it worked. If you're not able to bear him "crying it out" then it may be worth a try. I sure hope everything works out.

C., I know how you feel, we had to do the "cry it out" too. Here is the "KEY" to the program. You give him a bottle and get him most of the way asleep, than put him in the crib with a pacifier in the crib with him. If he sits up like mine did, give him his pacifier and tell him "I love you and good night my love" then you go to the living room or kitchen and take care of the things you have to. DO NOT GO BACK EVERY 5 MINS. He will learn very quickly. The 1st night 1 hr, the 2nd night 45 mins, the 3rd night it ws only 5 mins. Good luck and understand HE is now in charge, not you and that is backwards.

K., working mother of a wonder 11 mos old boy (Rainn) and wife for 10 yrs to a Over The Road (OTR) Truck Driver.

C.~

I just went through that with my 8 mos old. However my situation was a lil different. My lil one never slept in our bed. He has always been in his crib. But he started learning that if he cries mommy will come get him. I literally had to let him cry. Some nights it was 10 mins some nights it was 30. But he got the hint that after checking on him I wasn't going to pick him up. I know its hard but we have it set in our minds that if they are crying soemthing is wrong because thats the only way to communicate! But I promise he is going to be ok! Good luck and keep yourself busy when those nights come around! If he is teething make sure he has orajel or whatever you give him then you know thats not what it is! Good luck!!!

he has learned that if he cries you will come and eventually get him. Try this, let him cry but don't check on him for 20 or so minutes, as the days go he will start to sleep on his own. I know this sounds cruel, but it worked with both my kids at 3 months. My daughter needed longer cry sessions than my son, but now they both sleep through. This is a Growing Kids Gods way principal and it does work.

Well C. you have gotten a lot of good responses and I feel for you-I would suggest that you try to let him sleep in his own bed if it is becoming a strain on you, and it sounds like it is since you wrote about it. I agree with those who say it's ok for babies to be tended to in the night, and they are indeed helpless. That being said, you are likely to be a much happier mom if he starts making it through without your help. I recently had to do this with my 5-month old. I told him ( I know he doesn't understand, but I told him) nighttime is for sleeping, not eating etc, and after several nights of waking up at his usual hour of 3 am, he slept through. I let him cry for about 5 minutes. If he keeps crying vigorously, you alone know if your child really needs something and then of course you go get him. But he may just be used to it. Might be tough the first few nights but it doesn't mean you don't care! He will be a happier baby if he starts sleeping through-benefits him too. He may still wake up and cry out a little, but he will figure out that you ARE coming to get him, but it just won't be until a more normal, true morning time. Good luck!

I wouldn't worry about it so much unless you would just prefer that he sleep on his own. I am on my second child now and I was so insitant that my first sleep on her own. She was in her crib sleeping on her own by 3 months. She would wake up now and then; I would let her cry after making sure there was nothing else going on. Now with my second (she is a little over 4 months) she is still not sleeping through the night and there have been many times during the night when we cuddle just to get some sleep:) I just some how have learned to operate on very little sleep. I do know with my first that she would go through little phases of not crying during the night, to crying. I would just always leave her in her crib; not take her out. If she needed comforting, I would do it in her crib. That seemed to work. Good luck!!

Yep, you hit the nail on the head in the last statement "he's learned that crying gets him what he wants".

As long as he's fed, dry, nothing in harms way... let him cry it out. After a while, he'll figure it out that you are not going to run to him.

Maybe put on soothing instrumental music on low volume out of his reach.