4 Month Old Won't Sleep in Crib

I have to say that I am a cry it out mom. I can tell if the cry means pain or just mad and if it is just mad then I let them work it out. You can try wrapping him up tight or rolling a blanket up and wedging that against him.

J.,
You are still better off keeping him in his crib. When he cries after being asleep for a bit, pat his back until he goes to sleep. try not to pick him up. He will get the idea after a few nights. But he will. He wants you to pick him up, he knows you will. You need to be strong and firm in not doing so, unless he cries longer than 15 mins. then you may have to or if his cry changes. sing to him softly while patting his butt or rubbing his back. Keep trying this. Its harder on you than him. Be consisitant. It should work.

Hey! I know this sounds bizarre, but he might not be getting enough sleep. My son went through almost exactly the same thing. My problem turned out to be that I was letting him take that last nap, wake up, go through the routine again, and then putting him to sleep. Try making him stay awake longer instead of taking that last nap, which is probably a short one from like 5-7 or something like that. We established a whole routine at that point (dinner, play, bath, bottle, bed) which really just saved my sanity. I started putting him to bed at 7:30, just giving him a bottle when he woke up again at 10:30, and then he'd be down for the count. You will eventually need to let him figure it out a bit and cry some. This was okay for me because my husband was traveling so much at the time and I was just too tired to do the up and down all night routine, but it took me a while to get there.

HTH!

D.

Hi J.!

I went through the same problem with my twins (who are now 19mths) and it took me forever to figure out what I was doing wrong. With my kids (this hit me like a ton of bricks one day) our routine was to feed them and hold them while they drank a bottle and that put them out. And one day as soon as we laid them down they woke up and screamed for the rest of the night. This lasted for MONTHS! My brainiac idea was to lay them down first and then give the bottles. This way when they fell asleep, there would be no shifting and no reason to wake up. This has worked and even today I still give them a bottle as they lay down. I know it is bad...but after months of no sleep, you do what works.

I also asked my doctor about this and she explained it as they are used to me being there. When they fall asleep I am there and when they wake up I am gone. So, I needed to let them fall asleep on their own without me holding them.

I started playing music while they drank their bottles too. And if they wake up in the middle of the night, I just hit play and lay them back down. They fall asleep instantly 99% of the time.

I hope this helps or you find something to work for you!! I know how hard it is regardless if you are a SAHM or working mom. Sleep is vital!!!! Good luck!!!

M.

I know it sounds horrible to let them cry it out, but it sounds like your little one has become dependent on the wedge and now on you to rock him to sleep so just needs to "relearn" how to fall asleep, but on his own without you or the wedge. We had to go through sleep training for our four month old last month. What we did was the Ferber method- not just "cry it out", but a graduated method of letting him cry for longer periods before going in to reassure him- verbally and patting his back or tummy (no longer than 2 min and not picking him up) and then re-setting our timer and increasing the minutes we waited. It took a few nights but it has made a ton of difference and he has learned to fall asleep on his own! We started the first night with 3 min, then 5 then 10 and every time after that 10 min until he fell asleep. Then if he got up in the night and started crying we started the timer over and did 3 min, then 5 etc. The next night we started with 5 min, then 10, and I think didn't let him go longer than 13 min. Make sense? I really liked the book by Ferber-- I think its called How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. He really does a good job at explaining how little ones can become dependent on something to get tem to sleep to the point where if they wake up during the night, they arent' able to fall asleep without whatever it was that helped them get to sleep initially. Hope it gets better soon.

When mine were little, we were told to put them to sleep on their side or back... and used rolled up blankets to kind of help keep them in postition. Might help him feel a little more secure?

Well, perhaps he's starting to teethe? Is he drooling? More irritable in general?

Pick up the book , "The no cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. And I agree with a pp, he could be teething. Also try putting him down on his tummy to sleep. He's old enough to be rolling over by now so tummy sleeping is safe.

He is probably trying to adjust to not sleeping in the wedge. I used the wedge on my first but didn't on my second for that very reason. You are probably going to have to let him cry it out as diffcult as that may be. Just check on him every 10-15 minutes. By day three he will probably be going to sleep on his own which will make everyone in the house including the baby much happier. I have used the cry it out method with both of my children and they are very good sleepers now.

I'm a working mother of two daughters, 2 years old and 8
weeks old.

Good luck, I've been there.

i was always told not to let them fall asleep all the way when you rock them or hold them when putting them to bed. also you just have to let him cry it out. he must have got used to the wedge and he just has to adjust to the change.

Read "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Ferber. You should not be rocking him to sleep. He needs to learn to fall asleep on his own, in his crib. If you keep rocking, he will never be self-calming and will not go and stay down on his own.

Many infants go through a changing period at different intervals. It may be due to the wedge thingy or it could just be coincidentle. I would try to give him a stuffed animal that was hypoallergenic or try a pillow. I know everyone says, oh they may sufficate. Yeah, their not going to sufficate with something that allows air to pass through it. I would make sure it is not smooshed into his face and check on him a few times after you put him down. If that doesn't work, you may ask his doctor if he is teething.

I used a wedge with mine too, but what I did when they couldn't sleep between them anymore is still have the wedge, but have it beside his back, so at least he was getting one portion/side of the wedge. (I always put my children on their side.)

My 4th child didn't sleep in her crib at all. She slept with us until she was 2yo. (That was new to us.) lol. Now thankfully, she is in her own twin bed. We got better sleep when she got better sleep, which happened to be with us. We like our space, but had to do it this way for peace! :0)

I'm sure he's adjusting to not having the wedge anymore. One thing you might think about is teaching him to fall asleep on his own. He falls asleep in your arms and wakes up in a different place (his crib). But you don't have to let him cry it out until he falls asleep.

When it's time, place him in his bed while he's awake. Every few minutes (if he's crying) go in and cuddle him until he stops crying (but still awake). Then lay him down and start over. It will take a lot of going back and forth, but he'll finally fall asleep on his own while knowing you are there for him. Nothing is ever constant though. My daughter (now 2 years old) still goes through periods of waking up in the middle of the night.

Hey J.,
Try rolling up some blankets, and putting them on each side of him. Maybe it will trick him into thinking he's got that wedge around him ;0)

Hey J.,
Sounds rough. My babies both slept with the wedge. But eventually they outgrow it and have to sleep without it. He may be rolling slowly over in his crib and it is startling him and waking him up. Unfortunately he will probably have to cry it out. I know this can be very hard...but once you let him cry it out for a few nights, he will be fine. He is still crying because he knows you are going to go in there and pick him up. Maybe you could try to just pat his back or stroke his cheek to get him back to sleep...instead of picking him up and rocking him. He has just gotten in the routine of crying and knowing someone will come and hold him to get him back to sleep. Don't talk to him when you go in his room either... it makes them think it is play time or awake time.
He could also be teething around this time. You could try the "teething tablets" they are all natural and work wonderful and give him a little tylenol. It is hard to tell if they are teething at this age. Your baby will go thru a few stages of not sleeping in his crib. this is just one of them. At about 6-7 months(maybe sooner) he will be rolling completely over and he will have to get used to sleeping on his belly, sometimes they roll over and cannot get back over so they cry. Well, I hope some of this helps...like I said just try letting him cry for a few nights...I guarantee it will work. Try letting him cry for 10 minutes one night - then 15 the next and so on. It seems like a long time...but eventually he will stop and will be able to put himself to sleep. Good Luck.

K., 28 - SAHM of 2 (girl 2 1/2 and boy 4 1/2) and in home day care provider

Hey J.- my name is C. and my son is 7 years old. I too would rock him to sleep and put him down and avoid every creek in the floor to get out without waking him. You, believe it or not, are spoiling him!! He can go to bed without being rocked and CAN cry himself to sleep. Trust me, its not the best thing to listen to, but it works. My Dr. also said to give benedryl every night at the same time, it gets them in the routine. My son unfortunately had an adverse reaction and bounced off the walls. As time goes on, you will let go of some of the ideas of "I will never do that!" I promise. Luckily I have a big sister to call with 3 kids and she always can coach me. Just try letting him cry. There is really no other way! He will be fine....:)

We didn't let either of our babies fall asleep crying without us. Elizabeth Pantley's The No Cry Sleep Solution is a good recourse. Could you put your son's crib near your bed so you could just pat him to sleep, or even let him sleep next to you, since he's feeling 'clingy'? Both of our girls slept right next to me very peacefully right through their baby-hoods. I was very careful to make sure that they had plenty of fresh air around their faces, there we no heavy blankets that could cover their faces, that there was no way they could become stuck between a wall and our bed, and that they couldn't fall out of our bed. With all of that taken care of, we got fabulous sleep from the day they came home from the hospital. Good luck with your son!

Hi J.! Been there, done and said that! I didn't want my daughter to cry-it-out either until I just couldn't take the sleepless nights anymore! I had to function at work the next day! The first night I laid her down while she was awake and told her it was night night time and that I would be right outside if she needed me. She cried for 14 very long minutes the 1st night, 3 minutes the 2nd night, and went right to sleep the 3rd night. It really does work and she sleeps like a charm now. When she started climbing from her crib, I took it down and put her in a twin bed with rails. It also took 3 nights of a little crying, but she is used to the bed now and goes right to sleep when I put her down. Good luch and happy sleeeeeeeeeping! D. H.

When our twins out grew their wedge we removed the wings and they use the wedge as a pillow choosing whatever sleeping position best fits them.

Hi J.! I am a mom of 2 daughters. My oldest is turning 3 in a month and has only become a good sleeper in the last 2 months. I totally understand your desperation in being sleep deprived.

It appears that your son has associated falling to sleep with needing the wedge and is dependent on you rocking him to sleep. I made the same mistake with rocking my oldest daughter to sleep and had to later teach her to fall asleep on her own. When my second came, I just put her down in her bed when she was awake and she learned to put herself to sleep.

I would recommend getting Elizabeth Pantley's book "The No Cry Sleep Solution". It teaches you gentle ways of helping your baby to fall asleep on their own. Personally, I am not a fan of cry it out, especially at such a young age.

The experts say to never let a baby fall asleep in your arms. You can rock the baby, but only until they are drowsy and sleepy...then you put them in the bed to fall asleep on their own. However, I think that this is easier said than done. I encourage you to get the book I mentioned and try some of her techniques.

Good Luck!
A.

J., try putting something snug up against him to maybe give him that closeness feeling. try rolling a bath towel or a hand towel dependig on the size you need. Roll them really tight and secure them with heavy tape or tie really tight ribbons so they don't come un done. Try a baby blankie, my son has severeal of these, they are about 6 inches all the way around with a satin trim, He loves it! I have to go buy more just in case we lost one, etc. So before he goes to bed my son gets his blankie and his paci. It is a great thing! Also, we have a sound machine in our son's room so it is raining all the time, he loves it and he's used to noise. A friend of mine does the same thing except hers was a cd of classical music, her child loved that too. Good luck and let me know what happens.
JLizzy

I know how you feel. When my daughter started rolling over I thought I would never get another night sleep again. She would roll all over the crib and we'd hear a bang then crying. I would go in there to check on her when the crying lasted too long and she'd have her limbs hanging out the crib. I finally had to loop toile (the wedding kind) tightly between the crib slats so she couldn't get any body parts stuck. :-)
From what you've posted I would say until you teach your baby to fall back asleep on his own, you probably are not going to get a good night sleep. I know it is super hard and you feel like it's cruel and will somehow scar your baby for life. That's how I felt but we finally did the cry it out method at about 4 months and within 3 days she was falling asleep in less than 10 minutes...best move we ever made. AND, if she cries too long, I know something else is wrong and I go to her. This will really come in handy when teething starts.
Here's some advice that really helped me if you do decide to let him cry it out. Put this in perspective...you letting him cry for a few minutes before bed is not going to undo all the love and security you've given him ALL day long and you're teaching him to learn a very valuable skill. Also, watch the clock....hearing a baby cry can really wear on your nerves, but they usually aren't crying for as long as it may seem. If you watch the clock, you realize what you think is 30 minutes has really only been five. Last but not least you have to be consistent!!! Just remember (in my opinion), the earlier you do this, the better and he's going to have to figure out how to fall asleep on his own eventually. I would much rather do it while he is young, before he gets older and can call you - that would rip my heart out!! Anyway, hope this helps. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Hi,

I would let him cry it out! They say it takes 3 nights to get a new routine. I have a 3 yo girl who is still a nightmare to get to sleep because I was afraid to let her cry as a first time mom and i rocked her to sleep. Trust me, you dont want to keep doing that!! There are some great books that may help. Moms on Call is a good one. Do you have a sound machine in his room? Get one of those and crank it up. Try and start putting him in his crib awake and let him learn to soothe himself. You need to do it for his sake, not yours. Walk outside if you cant stand to hear him cry. Set a timer for 5 minutes and then gradually increase. If you continue to rock him to sleep you are creating a habit you will have and if you want more kids it will be hard. Trust me! My 4 month old baby is a dream to put to sleep, but it's because I learned after my first and wished I had done the same with her. My 4 month old goes in her crib awake at 7pm (that' the other thing maybe try and put him to bed sooner before he gets too tired) and she lays down awake and goes to sleep. I use a lovey in the crib with her which has helped. I had to train her to get to this point but it is so worth it and now she is able to soothe herself to sleep, a wonderful skill they need in life. And, you can get a break and have the evening to spend with ypour husband or do something for yourself. My 3 yo goes to be at 9pm and it is a struggle every night because we let her control us when she was a baby, similar to what you are saying.
If you need more tips let me know. You can get him to soothe himself, it's not that hard and you need to do it for him!!
Good luck,
K.

i only had this problem for a lil while when i would not let my daughter lay on her tummy but now she does and i drape a blanket over just her legs tucked in kinda and she sleeps all night - most nights- if he isnt a tummy sleeper and can roll over try letting him sleep on his tummy or even on one side with his arm under his head - that way if he rolls he will most likely roll to his back. also through a question on my own a lot of mothers mention an angel care monitor for tummy sleepers - i love it. hope i was a lil of help.