7 Mo Old Won't Nap Long and Has a BAD Temper!

I'm sorry you're having problems. I don't believe a child that young can be "spoiled". She is too young to understand how to manipulate people. If she is crying to be picked up, its because she needs and loves her mommy. Maybe you can try wearing her in a sling or wrap, then she can get the closeness she wants and you can get something done too. I recommend Jonesling, Belle Maman and Trendy Tots carry them and they are wonderful. When my son is fussy and nothing will work, a few walks through the house in his sling and he's out.
As for the nap, my son was the same. So what I did was take naps with him for a few weeks. Then start sneaking away after they fall asleep and stay close by and respond quickly when they start to stir. Then I think they trust you will be there and they can relax and sleep longer. I personally don't listen to people saying you will spoil a baby. A baby's needs and wants are the same thing. I hope some of this helps......M.

Looks like you have had a variety of advice. Hope you have tried a few of them by now.

I had one that was a mom's girl. I just carried her from room to room and sat her down in there with me. She played sometimes, sat on my lap sometimes, sat in the highchair next to me. Whatever helped me keep going to get things done.

As for rocking. Think about it for a minute. How often do you just sit and hold her with nothing going on? How often do you sit and sing to her or just hum or just softly talk about things like how big she is getting? Babies need that time. They are geared that way. Some need less, some need more. My mommy girl did not want to cuddle. But she very much needed that bit of time. My boys loved the cuddling and needed it too. But during the day they had other things on their minds. They explored the entire house, loved the walks we took every day, and generally played and kept me busy trying to chase them and watch them. LOL

So I rocked all mine at night. In the afternoon we read 1 book only and then off they went to their beds for naptime. At 7 months I was still rocking them at naptime, but gradually weaned them off it so that by the time they were walking we were only sitting in the rocker the length of time it took me to read 1 book. when I had more than 1 child I read to the baby, then we all sat together on the couch together. But by then the big kids did not need a nap every day. I used that time for their quiet play time so I had 1 hour of time to myself.

It is basically just about training. Yes a 7month old can be spoiled...but in what way? Enjoy the time rocking at naptime! Soon she will be too big to fit on your lap. LOL To stop the screaming, watch and see what is setting her off. Is the way you sit her down? Is the time of day? Is she getting her first tooth? Is she having some other issue that could bother her?

The biggest thing is she will only be a baby for a short while. But she will always have her personality. Find how to love the baby and train the personality to be someone we can all enjoy being around. ;-)

HI,

One thing that you are doing is that you are re enforcing her bad behavior by giving in and picking her up. She learns that if she cries or misbehaves you will give her attention. Each time she pushes a little longer and eventually you give in. The cycle will continue, unless you break it now. When she cries for this unnecessary attention, ignore it. I know it is hard. We did this with our son, when we put him to bed he would cry to be picked up. We actually sat in front of the door to make sure nothing was wrong. After a few nights, he learned to self soothe himself and went to sleep. This also carried on into the AM, when he woke he had learned to play and soothe himself and then I would go get him. He learned that by crying for no reason we did not respond. She is only learning what you teach her - cry and Mom will pick me up. Neither of my children ever had a temper tamtrum, for both my husband and I tried to give attention for good behavior. When they were good and being quiet, we would hug and tell them how good they were.
This also continues into their teen years. Tantrums never got anything.
They are now 27 and 31 and using this technique with their children and they are a pleasure to take care of.
Good Luck, just remember, it is a cycle. She cries you pick her up and if you don't she will cry harder and longer to see what your breaking point it.
I always remember what one of my professor said a long time ago. "What is cute at 2 is not cute at 15?" They only do what we let them do.

A LITTLE ABOUT ME
Stay-home-Mom for 25 years
Married 40 years

Hi A.,
It can be very trying when we have high needs infants/kids. But I would try to remember that everyone's (including children) sleep patterns are different. If she is sleeping 11 or 12 hours a night, then she may not need as much nap time.
As far as the screaming to be held... maybe she is going through some separation anxiety even if you are in the house with her, but not present due to working in the home (I have a home based business too, and know that there are many times when my body is there, but my mind is a million miles away!)... she may be asking, in a non verbal way, for more closeness.
For napping could you use a swing, or is she too big for that now?
Lots of luck!
A.- mom to Dominic and Julian

Hi A.,

You know I truely believe that were are all born with inborn traits and charcters. Your litte one probably just has a very strong personality. I have 5 children and trust me my second one was the hardest to ajust to. I believe it was because I didn't know how to adjust to the attention they both needed and wanted at the same time. I was hard for me.

I have found out that if I attend to them BEFORE the screaming starts, the screams will become less. You need to know your little one very well, and know what makes her scream. Once you know, try to avoid it by attending to her/his needs before it gets to that point. I noticed that really worked well for me.

As for the naps. well, I really hate the rocking thing. I never did it with any of my kids, because I never wanted them to get used to that. What if I had to be somewhere were there wasn't a rocker? And my child only was used to falling asleep that way, I would of been in a big mess.

Any who, many moms like that (my sister did, she enjoyed that time with her babies)I didn't. Ok, as for her naps have you tried taking one nap out of daily routine? So that when she does nap it might be longer? Or maybe when she wakes up not taking them out for awhile? So basically leaving them in there longer to have "quite" time and to play in their crib? I've done that, it doesn't hurt them it actually gives them time to explore on their own.

She may not be a child who naps long. I hope that helps some. Not an expert, but a few ideas that I have done that worked well in those situations. Good luck.

Does your baby nap in a quiet area? Sometimes turning a tape or radio on softly will help block out the noises around her so she won't wake so easily.

Baby's become very adept at getting what they want very early. Think about it. When they are born, they get your full attention when they cry. This is a learned behavior. Now she has to "unlearn" it. This is not easy to do but it can be done. REally they understand your tone of voice more than what you say at an early age. If you say "This is unacceptable" in a firm tone of voice and give her some toys to play with over time she will learn to entertain herself. You might also ask her sibling to talk to her. Wait 5 minutes before you pick her up. After a week, wait 8 minutes, after another week wait 10. You are slowly increasing the time that you use to "give in". You must be consistent. In the meantime, talk to her and tell her she is okay and that mom will be there in however many minutes it will be before your time is up. Try putting her in a playpen where she can see or hear you. I don't think they have developed object permanence yet at 7 months so seeing you might be better. Use your tone of voice to indicate to her that you are hearing her. "I know sweetie, mom is going to be there in 3 minutes. You are okay." Then in a minute or two, give her an update. "Just another minute and mom will be there" Then when you pick her up, say "See! Just like mommy promised, she is here to see about you." Then you can play with her for a few minutes and before putting her down tell her you are near and need to work. Even though she has no concept of time, it is a good habit to get into. She will gradually develop these skills over time but your voice will be important. If you sound impatient she will mirror that. Children learn best from mom and dad. You are their first teachers so teach them that they can depend on you and it will make it easier later.

Maybe you can try a swing from time to time or a jump seat that attaches to a door frame. You might even try some Baby Einstein videos. They are awesome and even if the baby only listens to it at that age it is supposed to help their brain development. When she is a little older, you can put her in an exersaucer where she can watch the videos. They are really engaging. I have to watch myself when I put them on for my granddaughter because I find myself sitting down to watch them with her instead of doing what I am supposed to do. They last about 30 minutes and are so bright, colorful and engaging.

I hope that what I shared makes sense. If not, let me know\

C.

LET HER SCREAM... I know its going to be hard.. and it is so much easier sometimes to just pick them up... but that is how you train something, when they do something you give them a treat... that is what your doing... as long as you dont think there is more wrong than just spoiled... It WILL get easier.. I have six all under 13 and im still here.... I love working though because I get my adult conversation... DONT QUIT YOUR JOB... ha ha... Your a good mom, just remember this is just for a season of your life. IT WILL GET EASIER........ L.

I have a 3 yr old and a 10 month old and let's just say I now realize how easy my first was. (AMAZING how different they can be!!) My baby is like your's in that she doesn't need very much sleep and is bi-polar (J.K.)- either VERY happy or very pissed off! She would only sleep 30 minutes in the beginning, but now takes a 45 minute nap and a 1 1/2 (or sometimes much less) nap. She just grew into this, and when I started feeding her solids, she slept more. I've read that just like us, some babies just don't need a lot of sleep. Your's might also be ready for only one nap...try it one day and see if it makes a difference. I also just got her to go to sleep by herself, which is SO nice. I would play a cd and hold her and when she was almost asleep, I'd put her in her crib and stay there for a little bit, then leave and say night night. She cried for about 30 minutes the first day, then less and less,until 3 days later she only cried for 5 minutes. Now, I can get them both down in 30 minutes and it is SO wonderful, and worth all of the crying trials. Plus, I did it before she started crawling, so that made that easier too.
As for the tempers, they can learn NO! at 9 or ealier months! Also, I have been teaching her sign language and she is now signing 10+ signs and that has helped alot with the tantrums. I am planning to continue teaching her, as I did my first, as I feel it is even MORE important with expressing her "passionate" behavior! LOL...
I am actually doing a free presentation for my mom's group this Tuesday evening on signing, if you'd like that information. I FEEL your frustrations and think this would help you.
Feel free to email me directly at ____@____.com, if you'd like the invitation information.

Regards,
L.

Hi! I have a 9month old that has proved to be more high maintenance than anticipated! I know what you are going through! My first two children I was pretty diligent about Babywise - it went very well. My third child, though, is a whole other kind. He wants to be held and is demanding. I was having a lot of trouble getting him to take good naps. I finally decided that I absolutely need him to take an afternoon nap with my other children so I could get some things done. He used to take a 2 hour nap in the morning and a 2 hour nap in afternoon. Around 7 mos. he quit doing this. So my remedy now is allowing him a small nap (30-45 min) or no nap in the morning and then around 1:30 or 2:00 I lay him down for a long afternoon nap. This one could go from 1 and a half to 2 and a half hours. The rule is that it can not go less than 1 and a half hours. If he cries, then he cries (he can scream too!) I've allowed him to cry fairly long periods of time, but now at 9mos. he does very well with napping. He still sometimes wakes up early, but now he cries and will fall back asleep. On occassion, I will go in and hold him a minute or two, and then lay him back down.
I sympathize with you. My third has made me realize that I do not want to go through the infant stage with another child (I'm done!) I love him to bits as I'm sure you do your daughter, but will be glad to get in to the toddler years!!