7-Year Old Who Has a Sassy Attitude Often

Girls. I have a 5 year old and she does the EXACT same thing. She is a good girl... they just get emotional. Sometimes it's just things they learn in school too. We talk to our girl often in a way that is not hard, but respectful of her... we let her talk story with us and tell her she is always loved and we will always listen to her and how she feels... sometimes, just letting her ramble on and talk story deflates all her pent up yah-yah's so to speak. Girls = drama. My friends' daughters are the same way.... totally. Most of the time, I have found that my girl just needs me more... she needs me one-on-one to just hang out or whatever. I also give her more hugs at these times and remind her that I love her no matter what. This also seems to calm her down a lot. Sometimes too, they get "overloaded" on how often we actually tell them to "behave" especially in comparison to her sibling. I know at these times, she just needs more attention from me.... as a SAHM.... I am often so busy, and I hate to admit it, but my girl gets lost in the shuffle sometimes, even though I try not to. It's the daily things we all have to do, and dealing with more than one child at a time, I think my daughter is more sensitive and needs more.

Sure, we instill boundaries and rules of the household, which she does. But, girls, they have these melt-downs and are drama-queens at times. Also, their hormones are changing too.

I don't have a "cure" per say, but just sharing what I have done and notice what helps my girl. There are times too, when I know our Parental "expectations" just is too much for her... and she will actually tell me and my husband "I'm just a little girl... please don't rush me." It breaks my heart to hear her say this so eloquently for her age...and it "reminds" me of how we go about our day. So, we let her play a little more and just hang out together so she can unwind. I tell my girl, that whenever she feels "stress" or upsets to be sure to tell us... we WILL be there for her. This has helped.

**I'm adding this: Remember, that everything we do now, to raise our girls... is to "prepare" them with a solid loving & stable foundation for when they reach the pre-teen and teen years....so as to circumvent rebellion or difficulties. I once read a news article, that said nowadays, "10 is the new 15"... meaning, at 10 years old children today are more like 15 years old in mind and body...for better or worse. Girls also need a good bond with their Daddy's (if possible)...so when they are teens, they don't go looking for something in boys, to fill a "missing" need in them. With that in mind, my Husband makes sure he spends quality time with my daughter to give her a confident sense of self in her and a good male role model.
All the best to you. Our girls are really something! LOL.

Take care and good luck,
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

HaHaHa . . . I know the frustration. I have to say it's just girls. They get SO emotional and it's hard to get through to some.

I have a 6 year old who is the funniest character you'd ever meet. She's adorable and says the funniest things ALL THE TIME! People burst out laughing at the things she says and she can't take that easily. Even if someone giggles, she runs away and cries, throws herself on the bed . .. she thinks people are laughing at her . . They're just laughing at the funny/adorable thing she just said, not at HER, but she can't understand that.

She also gets moody, If I try to give her advice on what to wear or how we should do her hair, she just melts.

The best way I found to handle things is to 1) try to avoid the triggers or at least distract her from them and 2) reinforce your love for her, try as little negativity as possible.

Never start with "you always" or "don't" or anything negative, instead use a positive approach. Always remember more praise than criticism. Instead of trying to correct her behavior, reinforce the good behavior you do see from her.

They are very delicate creatures and so full of emotion. Sometimes it just gets overwhelming for them. They need to hear more about love than disappointment.

My daughter, 8, began with the attitude around 6. It's very common in girls. We would tell her that until she can be nice, we weren't going to respond to her. I'll asks her to say it again the right way and that usually works, a do-over so to speak.
Maybe she is also doing it for some attention. If your working full time and dealing with other siblings, she might feel like she not as important. Up the one on one time and positive attention.

Hmm. Interesting replies.
I will do what i can to help.

Children need independence and respect from others, especially family. They need to be taken seriously, unless they INTEND to make a joke. No one should have to deal with being habitually ridiculed, for example.

They need to make their own choices over personal things like appearance and hygiene.
If the child is immature, treat them with choices - 1 and 2
For example:
Bath before or after meal?
Re dress or blue jeans today?
Take out trash or you remove a toy

;-)

If you see my meaning!

''Does anyone know why she sighs in response to our requests or whines in some way instead of just doing what needs to be done.''
I think you must have been very lucky with the other 6 children if this is what you expect ... You probably have to wax a little cleverer here.

The trick is to make her think things were her own idea...

If she is very bright and tired of being The Baby- dropping HINTS might work. Then you can be all delighted and full of appreciation - when she starts on something you wanted her to do all along!

If she is spoilt from being the youngest, relies on being the baby and has got a way with far too much - it's time to 'nip it in the bud'.

Explain (as soon as she does something right) that there will be extra treats! Give her one, whatever small but important thing you deem suitable.
OK Explain while you are PRAISING and TREATING that from now on there will be some repercussions for bad behaviour too.
Give one example.
2 if she asks more. Then drop it, be happy and peaceful.
Find another good thing to treat if possible that day before the first repercussion.

If you can, be mysterious what these could be. Like, 'YOU DON"T WANNA KNOW'
;-)
Then you then need to implement a punishment as a consequence ...
Make it quite big.
Warn it first, then do it.

Be prepared for meltdown. Ignore the meltdown completely.

You need to get more extreme. The world has changed and children are often very rude. They often get away with it. I watch the parents at the pools etc and they are often rude to! You might even be the sole good example she has, if she watches TV.

That's the first consequence right there, if she is sassy over something IMPORTANT and you warn her and she doesn't comply - then NO TV for 2 days.

I know this is hard to do to keep doing and may seem harsh... but you have to get the upper hand.
While you are insisting in more respect from her, you also BTW give a lot of respect TO her.

Respect her choices wherever possible.
Look for things to praise and compliment.

Be just as sure to punish. She WILL get the idea, so long as you are both consistent about this.
Choose your battles wisely, and when you have time and energy to reinforce.

It will work! Children are over stimulated, use computers and eat too many chemicals, so avoid these to keep things calm. Tel her how much you appreciate her when she complies and is charming.
But don't let on how much her behaviour controls the house.

Good Luck.

I didn't read everything, so pardon me if I'm repeating. My 5 year-old does the EXACT same thing. I agree that a lot of it has to do with being female, but I've discovered that hunger brings on the meltdowns. If you notice the signs of a problem arising, try offering a snack and see if her attitude improves.

N.