6Wk Old Baby Needs to Be Held to Sleep

I think its ok to hold her to sleep at 6 weeks old. at that age they only cry when they need something. we held her to sleep the first few months then did the cry to sleep afterwards and she goes to bed silently now.

You can never hold a baby to much. My daughter now 7 months was the same way. She would go to sleep ok at first, but when the 2am feeding came a long, I had to have her sleep on me, so that we could sleep. It just takes time, and try to put her down as much as you can, but it seems to be about 2-3 months and then it gets better. Try a carrier too, that really helped and you can get things done. It is a phase and it will pass. Take care and we are went through it, at least I did. Mine hated her hands and arms to be swaddled to and mine is active. Take care. Alison

I was also crazed about this when my son was 6 weeks old. You CAN NEVER hold a baby too much. It is not spoiling them. They are completely reliant on you for safety and comfort and love. My son slept on my chest for naps until he was 5 months old. He is now 11 months and has been napping in his crib for a long time. I took naps with him to catch up on some zzzz's.
At night when he was that young he slept in an infant bouncy seat, his car seat, or a swing. The crib is way to big for them. I really used to be obsessive compulsive about this, thinking I would damage him in some way. But then I started thinking I will never get these moments (even though we were sleeping) back. And when baby #2 comes along, my chance to nap with either of my kids will be few and far between. Cherish the closeness and the sleep!

Hi M.,

You cannot hold or cuddle an infant too much. It is a myth that you can "spoil" a baby. It may not be the most convenient, but when you hold her and let her sleep in your arms you're nurturing her and setting what Bowlby referred to as her "Internal Working Model" to expect that the world will meet her needs. Later on, this will allow her to venture away from you to explore the world (critical to her healthy development) without a lot of anxiety and clinginess. If you consistently hold her when she asks for comfort, she will be a well attached, happy little girl later on. You're doing it perfectly and, in time, she'll feel safe and comfortable sleeping on her own. I used a sling with my first daughter and just wore her arund the house while she slept. By 3 months, she preferred her bassinet and at 4 months she smoothly transitioned to her crib. Now my second daughter is six months old and the main lesson I'm applying from my first baby is not to stress about about any of this too much--all of the things I stressed out about seemed to resolve in time. Letting an infant under 6 months old "cry it out" releases toxic amounts of adrenalin and stress hormones into her developing brain and sends her the horrible message that you're not going to be there when she needs you--making for a potentially fussy, clingy baby the rest of the day, although it is true that she'll eventually give up on you and stop crying when she's going to sleep (hardly worth the convenience)...

Good luck!

H. (mother to Ruby, age 2, who now goes to sleep all on her own in her big-girl bed, and to Lilah, age 6 mo.)

6 weeks is way to early to let your child cry it out. be patient she will learn to fall asleep on her own if you help train her. Do you nurse? Many books dont suggest this but when my daughter was that young (and she had really bad colic) I would bring her into my bed and nurse her to sleep laying on my side. It worked out well for me because after she fell asleep I would fall asleep. She sleeps great through the night now and has no problems going to sleep on her own.

Hugs, I can relate.

I would like to give you some info on crying it out and offer what I've done to arrange better sleeping conditions for me and my babies.

Crying it out may damage baby's brain. Here's more information about it: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/07/14/the_odd_body_crying/ and here's a book about brain research, by Margot Sunderland:
http://www.amazon.com/Science-Parenting-Margot-Sunderland...

I set up our crib as a side car so that I could be close with our baby. The way I did it was to have it only have 3 sides on it and pushed it all the way up to our bed. Right now I have it against the corner of our room and our bed, so it cannot go anywhere. And it doesn't have it's wheels on it. Works wonderfully.

I agree with everyone's advice. I recommend The Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears because it talks about how babies sleep differently from adults, what you can realistically expect from them at different ages, and lots of sound GENTLE ways to help them to learn to sleep based on their age. I also recommend getting a mobywrap or an ergo carrier since your baby loves to be held and she will outgrow the bjorn soon.

Most of all, do whatever you need to do to get sleep.

Good luck.

Hi M.,

Wow, I feel like you about a few months ago. My baby is 3.5 months old now and just started about 2 weeks ago developing her naps on her own. We did use the cry out method starting 4 weeks ago because the only way she would fall asleep was on me or someone else and it was starting to get too tiring for us. She actually would only sleep if she was in a certain, very akward position that caused my back and neck to constantly cramp up, and I never could actually nap with her that way. I did find napping with her in my bed (I'd place her on her boppy after nursing) during the day gave her a longer nap and me a chance to catch up on some rest too. We did whatever we could to get her to nap in the beginning...and then when we decided she was mature enough and her colic had settled we started letting her cry it out at night, and sometimes during the day to sleep. It is hard...don't let anyone fool you. You'll feel like you hate yourself for doing it...but for someone that stuck through it with the support of her hubby we did it and her behavior during the day has been so much better. She use to constantly give us the overtired signs from the moment we woke up...and we lived most every night in fear of wondering what she might be like to put down. It worked the best at night...and we would only let her sleep at night in her crib at approx. 7-8 pm (depending on her last nap of the day). These constant bedtimes (involving a constant routine), expectations of a schedule and continually trying to find what worked for her during the day to nap helped her sleep longer/ be less fussy in the day/and made it easier to see where she was tired before her nap should start. She still sleeps small cat naps of 45 minutes...but she developed the morning nap very well (sometimes sleeping 2-3 hours some days). We let her nap whenever she has been up for no longer than 2 hours. And we NEVER wake a sleeping baby...let them take th rest when they can...their bodies are trying to adjust. We find for our daughter that 1.5 hours is her max before she gets overtired (rubbing eyes, yawning, or cranky). She usually now sleeps between 5-7 hours on her own most nights before her first wake for food, and then would be down for another 5-6 hours till she wants to wake up in the morning. Keep a clock close at hand as you slowly find what her nap window is. I feel like ever since she has been born I've been on nap patrol to help her sleep better at night. Good luck and you're doing great!

I am not anti-cry it out but 6 weeks is way way way too young for that. Infants NEED to be held, swaddled, caressed and be able to feel their mommy's warmth and movements. Don't worry, this will not last forever, I promise.

Try making her room nice and dark, swaddle her with a receiving blanket (try with arms in or arms out, whichever she prefers), white noise in a room is very soothing; ceiling fan, humidifier, etc. My son always fell asleep to the vacuum and would wake up if I turned it off!

Perhaps you could let her nap in a swing. Sometimes the motion keeps them sleeping long enough for you to drink at least 1 cup of coffee!

I know it's hard. My daughter was a lousy napper and cried the minute I put her down. She would then only nap at short 20 minute intervals. UUGGHH! But that was her nature & I lived through it.

It wasn't until she was around 10 monhs old that I let her cry it out for the first time. I think the Farber method is quite successful and does it in a gentler way that isn't so neglectful.

HTH!
A.

Hi M.,
As everyone else has said, 6 weeks is too early to let a baby cry. Sometimes it takes several weeks after birth for a baby to actually "wake up". My first baby screamed from the moment he came out until his first birthday. My third baby slept for the first two months of life. I only got to see her awake for a few hours a day. Babies are very individual in their habits and development. Once your baby reaches 6 months old then you have to worry about her figuring out the cause and effect of her actions. If you let a 6 month old cry for an hour straight and then pick her up she will only remember that she gets picked up when crying, she will have no concept of how long she actually cried for. A six week old is still a new baby and needs the closeness of your body. Get yourself some sort of pouch or swaddle to wear and let her hang on you. It won't spoil her, she will gain her independence in time. Good luck
Sue
NY

Hi, M.. Speaking from experiences, having three boys, I think 6 wks is too early to let her cry to sleep. I think after three months, during the day if she was already fed and changed and cries because she wans attention, let her cry for a few minutes then pick her up and soothe her and then do it again the next day during the day. But, be aware of the kind cries. She may be crying after fed and changed because of gas. She may have bubble and she is crying because she needs to get the bubble out and they hurt! Nighttime is different. She may be hungry and you should feed her whenever she is hungry. If she was fed and changed, burped and so forth. Put her down. Does she nurse and does she take the pacifier? You will find that she will sleep less during the day and once in a while she'll sleep more often during the day and that may mean that she is growing and and if she is eating more often than normally, that means she is growing too. I would wiat until after is three months to start soothing her at night and make it gradual. But, enjoy her every time she is up because she will grow up and you'll miss her during those months. Let us know how you make out and I'll pray that God will give you His wisdom in caring for your child.

No, you can never hold a baby too much(especially one so young) and yes, I think she is too young to cry herself to sleep(I"m not saying I'm right, it's my opinion). It is really hard when they are young but it goes by so quickly and in a month or two if it hasn't corrected itself then try to let her soothe herself. The way I see it is the more love and affection we give our children the more confidence and independance they gain. I don't think you can hold, hug,kiss or tell a child you love them too much... Maybe you could co-sleep with baby...or even if she doesn't want to be swaddled put something in that smells like you in her crib(t-shirt you wore that day).she is sleeping on your chest because your heartbeat soothes her...she's been next to your heart for months and she wants that comfort...maybe music would be soothing to her, try a white noise or a lulaby cd...who knows they probably make one of a heartbeat out there...goodluck..and as I'm sure you are exausted and tired of hearing this, cherish these quite moments with her because they really do go too fast.

Yes - sleep habits DO change... all the time. And YES, 6 weeks IS too young to let cry to sleep! Hold her, allow her to sleep where she feels secure... get a rocking chair or glider if you can. They grow and change so fast, the important thing is that they feel safe and loved - if that means close to mom, or on mom theres nothing wrong with that! And yes, its normal for that change - they sleep a lot the first few weeks, and then its the next stage, where they are more alert, see more and are more interested in staying awake. I don't believe that you can hold a baby too much - I'll say again, giving the baby that feeling of security is not a bad thing! Soon, she'll be sitting up on her own and scooting, then crawling, and you'll wish she'd sit still long enough to hold her! I understand that as a single mom, its hard to be the only one your child is attached to/sleeps on! but it just goes so fast... enjoy it! Good luck!

I wouldn't recommend crying it out until 6 months or more. Will she sleep in bed with you? Just an idea. Try what works for both of you.

Some people might say you are spoiling your baby, but I believe there is no such thing. Especially a baby that little. My 4 month old is the same way. Its just her personality. She was like that from the moent she was born, never liked sleeping on her own. Sometimes i let her cry for a little while in her crib until i she starts to get really upset. i would suggest if you where going to do the "cry it out" thing to do it staring with 5 min, then 10 min. and so on. You want your baby to know you are there for them. also i dont thinks its a good idea to let them fall asleep from exsaustion of crying. hang in there i know how frustrating it is!

HI mom,

In my experience with 3 children 6 weeks is too early

In most cases at that age she is HUNGRY, needs a Diaper Change, If you have tried both thenit could be gas, Bicycling her legs can help releive that,
If your Nursing, make sure you remember to eat healthy and appropriately NUTS and GARLIC and ONIONS can be irritating to her new belly, so you need to eat like you were pregnant. Sometimes holding her is the only thing you can do, A Sling can be helpful in giving you free arms and hands,
And a bouncy chair, or swing can lull the baby to sleep aswell.

Remember that If your nursing and your baby is crying nursing her will help increase your milk supply.

Good luck

M

There is no such thing as holding her too much. Your job as a mom is to do what your daughter needs, not what is convenient. She will outgrow it. Letting her cry to sleep will create an unhappy, frustrated, angry human being. Did you ever cry yourself to sleep? How awful is that? Will she sleep on another person's chest also? If so,can you work out a trade of skills from another mom for the times you can't do it? Can you hire a sitter? Find an elderly woman at the local senior center who would just LOVE to hold a baby again? I felt so strongly about it that there is a chapter in my book on it PLEASE TOUCH(Simon & Schuster) S. Striker

Hi M. - 6 weeks old is too young to let your baby cry herself to sleep unless it's just a few fussy minutes. Her digestive system may still be working out the kinks so she may be gassy and that is why she likes being upright or against your chest - have you tried letting her fall asleep on your vhest and then sneaking her into the cradle or crib? YOu hold her against your chest as long as you can and then slowly lower her in. One thing that helped me during this time is something called Happi Tummi - it is a pouch you heat in the microwave and velcro around your baby's tummy - the warmth and thehers in the pouch help relieve any gas and help calm baby - it worked wonders for me! I also learned to prop myself up in bed on pillows and sleep with her on my chest for a couple of hours when she wouldn't settle. Luckily this all resolved by 9 weeks - I hope it does for you too!

M.

you can never hold a little baby too much! my daughters were both very alert and the first took 20 min naps as a newborn and was hours less in total sleep time than the averages. she also like being held. now the second isnt the best napper either, but not quite as bad. both are pretty good at night. white noise works great to drown out the little noises an alert baby will wake to. swaddling did work for us great. we use the snuggle nest cosleeper and put the baby down asleep, then leave the room until we return to go to bed. sshe leeps great and i believe in like dr sears says that she knows im next to her. you cant let her cry it out, but did you try getting her to sleep, then laying her down. even if she wakes and you have to repeat it 2 times, both my children always stayed asleep. you are right on the money with babies sleep habits changing and at her age, she will be more awake in the day each week that goes by. but she will also be more responsive, like smiling when you talk to her and laughing.

I just want to say... I can't imagine being a single mom of a 6wk. old... so God bless you! But a 6 week old, can not be held enough!!! Hold her as much as you can... it will go very fast... they say you can not spoil a baby up until 6 months... so hold her and make her as happy as you can for as long as you can. Nothing is better than your baby sleeping on your chest mine is 7 months and is too curious to sleep or lay on my chest... he is always looking around. I miss the times when we would sleep together with him on my chest... that went away much too fast! Enjoy it!

no way! i don't think it is possible to hold a newborn "too much." however, if you are needing sleep or just a break or rest from your little one, that is a different story. you must be well enough, rested enough, taken care of enough yourself in order to really meet your baby's needs. do you have adequate help? she will likely outgrow this requirement she has right now. remember that babies are constantly changing and any preference or behavior you are seeing now is a mere "blip" in the big picture. so make sure you take care of youreslf, or have enough help so you can attend to her later on, too, as she'll have some other preference by then. enjoy her, she will be a big girl before you know it and you may yearn for the good old days when she wanted to be near you!

I was told from the onset to never craddle or rock your child to sleep otherwise they will always expect it when it's bedtime. What you can do from this point is to put her in her crib when she's drowsy (not asleep in your arms). Then as she is laying there, rub her belly for maybe 10 seconds and talk to her in a soothing manner that it's time for bed and she should go to sleep. Leave the room. If she starts crying, leave her for a few minutes and then go back to the room.

Comfort her through caresses and sooth her and tell her it's time for bed. If after leaving the room she continues to cry, wait 10 minutes before going back to comfort her. Keep repeating this while spacing the aount of time you return to the room. This will show her you are nearby and she will learn in a few days to fall asleep on her own. It also helps to have a bedtime ritual.

What I use to do for my daughter (who is four now) is to give her a bath at 7 p.m. I also gave her her nightime feeding and put her to bed. She to this day is accustomed to the ritual of a night time bath and has no problem going to bed except if I do something outside this ritual. Try it.

It is inevitable that your daughter will cry but you have to teach her how to fall asleep on her own. Also let her last nap time to be before 4 p.m. Prevent her from taking a nap after that. Keep her up. Ask her daycare provider to follow the same routine of not allowing her to fall asleep. She may fuss intially but she'll become accustomed to it that way she will be ready to sleep steadily and longer when it is her bedtime. I hope this helps.

Nikki, Simgle Mother of Kaitlynn (4 yrs)

Yes she is too young to CIO. Have you tried the swing or a baby glider?

She feels your heartbeat and gets your scent when she lays on your chest. She might also just crave the human connection. My third daughter was the same way. It was months before I could get her to sleep on her own. The thing that finally worked was wrapping a t-shirt I had worn all day around one of those teddy bears that you can turn on and it has a heartbeat. She started sleeping on her own almost the whole night after about a week of doing that every night. I continued it until she was almost a year old.
Good luck to you and congratulations on your new baby girl!

Hi There! I read your message and it brought back alot of memories! My son, who is now 2 1/2 yrs. old (and a fantastic sleeper!! It does get better!!)had a difficult time with sleep in general and I was exhausted! I then discovered the book: "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. I 100% recommend this book! He explains why babies of this age need movement, white noise and, yes, swaddling (!!!), in order to sleep. He talks about how babies initially seem to resisit the swaddle, but he explains this, too. He also walks you through the correct way to swaddle, with diagrams. There is even a DVD you can get to supplement the book. I honestly don't know what I would've done without the sleep methods I learned. The only downfall is that it really only address birth to three months. However, by the three month mark, you should be in the groove of things. In answer to your question as to whether or not your baby is too young to let her "cry it out": yes, she is!!! Eventually, as my son became older ( I believe closer to 5 or 6 months), I then started some sleep training. But until then, they are just too little. It's all explained in the book I mentioned. You can order the book, etc. on Amazon. It's not very expensive, it's user friendly ( I think he had the sleep deprived parent in mind when he designed the format of the book)and worth every cent!!! I hope you give it a try. Good luck! :-) K.
Just a bit about me, I am a 39 year old Mom of a wonderful 2 1/2 yr. old boy. I stay home full time, but am a Special Ed. teacher with 16 years of experience.

Hi M.. This isn't uncommon for a month old baby, and yes, way too early for those "cry it out" methods. I don't approve of them at all, but even if you do, the "experts" typically say not to use them before 5 or 6 months old.

If she has trouble falling asleep, it may be that you have waited too long and she is overtired. Once she is asleep, it takes about 20 minutes for her to drift into a deep sleep, so she may startle herself awake before then. Help her down to sleep before she is overtired, hold her for the first 20-30 minutes and then try putting her down.

Good luck

No, you are not holding your baby too much! There is no way to do that when she is so small. Infants need to be held and comforted as much as possible. Holding her now will help build her trust and confidence in you and will actually make her fall asleep on her own better when she is older. Letting babies cry themselves to sleep is not a good thing until at least four months of age. Six weeks is too soon.

She was inside you for ten months so keeping her away from you when she is so small is hard on her. I have a four month old daughter and the first two months were so hard for me. I was s tired and I didn't want to hold her all of the time and she cried and I didn't know why. I had to rock her to sleep every two hours, it was so hard.

Hang in there and try not to worry too much about what will happen later. Be with your daughter now, while you can. I am not sure if you have to go back to work or whatever but the time you spend with your infant now makes a big difference to her development.

Try sleeping in your bed with her next to you and not on your chest. She might just want to be close to you and you might be able to sleep better like that as well. Remember that you can never ever hold her too much, no matter what. Good luck and remember that this too shall pass.

Keep trying the swaddling. She likes to be in the carrier, which suggestes she likes to be snug. My DD didn't like the swaddling either at first, then it was like a lightswitch. She would lay there and let me do it, sometimes she stopped fussing the instant I put her on the blanket. Also, try putting a fleece blanket or heating pad (on the lowest setting for only a few minutes) on the crib/bassinet. I found that the change in temp. from my arms to the bed would wake her. Once I figured this out, she would stay asleep for 2-3 hrs.

Hi M.,

In my opinion...
#1 - Yes...she is way too young to let her cry it out. At this age, if she's crying, she needs you. Whether it's for you to change her diaper, to feed her, to just snuggle and let her know how much you love her.

#2 - No...You are incapable of spoiling an infant so young. As much as food and diapering, she needs your love and physical touch just as much.

If you don't have an infant swing or "bouncy seat" you shoud invest, it helps a lot and so does a snugli carrier!

Enjoy that baby, you'll see - they grow WAY too fast!
-J.

Have you spoken to your pediatrician about reflux? It may be why she is having trouble sleeping on her back and instead wants to be held. My son had reflux and the medication really helped. I agree with the other moms, 6wks is too you to cry it out. I found the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child very helpful. Good luck!