6Th Birthday @ McDonalds Play Place - What Happens If No One Shows Up?!!!

does he have any close friends in the class or the neighborhood? Can you call the parent and offer to pick up their child for the party? In that way, he can have at least one friend to play with at the party!

I think many people tend to ignore party invitations from strangers. I invite my children's friends to their parties, not just their classmates. Friends are the kids they play with outside of school as well as at school. If one of my boys wanted to invite a child I don't know to his birthday I would make a point of inviting the child over to play at some point before the party. That way the invitation seems more personal, not just a mass birthday party invitation to the whole class.

That's the problem with big venue birthday parties - the birthday child gets all worked up, and then is set up for disappointment. And it's the problem with inviting the whole class - not everyone is great friends with every classmate, and by your own statement you are relatively new to the school. By sending invitations to the whole class, you have been inclusive, but you're relying on the teachers (who, frankly, don't need one more thing to do) and on the children's backpacks to get invitations out. For all you know, some of the invitations never got in the backpack, or they fell out when the children reached in to get their snack or lunch, or they are crushed in the bottom of the backpack and will be found 2 months from now when the backpack is cleaned out at the end of the year!

So now you are facing a complete lack of RSVPs and you don't know how to plan. I'm sure some of the parents DID get just didn't bother to reply - so rude - either because they don't realize it's important, or they haven't finalized their schedules, or the child hasn't decided yes or no, or they just aren't so hot on the idea of going to 22 parties all year long. People just get tired of it (the expense of gifts, the pressure to reciprocate) and they fall into really bad habits and poor manners. Others may think it's not all that special an invitation since you are inviting everyone with no thought to whether or not your son really likes their kid or even thinking that you might be hoping they don't all show so you don't have to pay for them. So they are just as "impersonal" in their lack of a reply as they perceive you to be in the inviting. I know that's not your intent, but it may be the inadvertent result.

Meanwhile you will be planning for 20 kids (22 minus the 2 definite no replies) and buying goody bags for them, with no idea of how many will come or how to handle your son's uncertainty. Sharing goodies with stranger kids isn't going to help your son feel special or popular, and some of those "stranger" parents might not be thrilled with the idea.

Does your child's class produce a class list with phone numbers and emails? In the future, it would be best if you sent individual invitations, either by mail or by email. For now, all you can do is call those children with whom your child is friendly, and tell those parents that your son is so hoping that their child can come. If the parent apologizes for not replying, you can reassure her/him but then share your frustration by asking for their advice on how things are done in this community. Sometimes cooperative parents will let other non-responsive parents know that "Oh, I talked to P. and she's trying to plan that party. I'm taking Jimmy so do you want me to pick up Tommy on my way?" Sometimes a more casual approach works. If you call them all individually, they may get embarrassed or even a little angry. It's too bad.

Going forward, why not have a much smaller party with specific invitations (NOT distributed through school) to those children your child is most friendly with, and who will have a vested interest in coming AND in replying?

Alternatively, you can tell the one reply you have that you are moving the party to another location since you are now apparently having a much smaller guest list, and maybe you can do something even more special! It would serve the non-responsive parents right if they showed up to an empty venue! It might annoy them and backfire on you in that way, but at least your child would have scaled-back expectations and avoid the disappointment. The uncertainty is going to be worse for your son that a definite and purposeful party somewhere else. Perhaps you could afford a wonderful day at a children's museum for 4 or 5 kids for the same money as 22 kids at McDonald's?

Good luck with this! I really feel for you.

I would take it all in stride.
My daughter had no one show up from her kindergarten class at Chuck E. Cheese. We had four children show up, none from school, and my youngest daughter who was two and you know what? She had a blast because my hubby and I put smiles on our faces and said it was Saturday, that a lot of people are busy and we were thankful for the ones who showed up.
Celebrate your boy, make sure he has gifts to open and I bet some kids there will wander over with a little encouragement/invite from you in a casual way.
Boo to the other parents who didn't RSVP.
And make a mental note in the fall to befriend a few parents to establish friendships in the fall, volunteer in class, if you can, attend PTA meetings to have an opportunity to meet/make friends.

Ugh, I feel terrible because I'm one of those moms who doesn't RSVP. I just got 2 invitations in the same week from my sons preschool. The parties were a week apart. I thought about attending one because I knew which kid it was, the other I wasn't sure. Then time got away from me and I got the dates mixed up. Also, I wasn't sure if you're supposed to call to decline or only if you're attending. Then some parties say "Regrets Only", so you only call if you aren't coming. What I'm trying to say is don't take it personally. I really felt terrible that I missed the deadlines to RSVP and I'm sure there are many moms like me who are working/busy, scatterbrained, and can barely manage to hold their own schedule together much less add another event to it. I really feel like there's too much pressure to have a party. Unless you know the kids and their parents well, maybe it's better to just have family or one two close friends. In this case, just invite family and friends, so that either way there are people who love him there. That's what matters anyway, not how many kids are present.

Ok...so when we get the WHOLE class invite and parents a need for an RSVP....if we can make I will call and RSVP. If we cannot, I do not send or call with regrets. Two weeks is enough time...but it's spring and many kids play a spring sport. It's just the roll of the dice on times.

i.e. we knew there was a tournament for our daughter this weekend three months ago...but it wasn't until a few days ago we knew the time of her games. If she had rec'd an invite I would have called and said "We'd love to come, however, we don't have the game schedule, and I may have to cancel but will let you know ASAP"...

He has one friend who has RSVPd. Don't fret over the the others and don't make a big deal if no one else shows up. He will only know it's a problem if you make a problem. He will see you be crushed, and think he needs to be.

One thing you can do is get more involved, call other moms for playdates...host them. Organize getting together with other kids in the class. Most of our invites come for soccer,girl scouts and other non school activities.

Are there any kids from your neighborhood he plays with you could recruit? If you don't know the names of his favorite kids in class, can you just ask him and then just google the last name with your town or go to whitepages.com and get their phone numbers and call? Or has the teacher ever sent an email to the entire class and that shows email addresses so you could email the whole class? Can you get there today for pickup (I assume you don't usually pick him up) so you can ask the moms who are there? I"m sorry people don't rsvp. It's so rude. But it would be nice for your son if you got to know who he is friends with or if he actually doesn't have any. You could also try the mom who did reply yes - ask her if she has the contact info for 3 or 4 kids your son mentions. Tell her you guys are fairly new so you don't know the moms yet. Likely she'll be helpful.

Why do people not RSVP?

I hate to say but no RSVP usually means a no.

I can feel how anxious you are! I'm so sorry this is stressful. I like the idea of maybe showing up at pickup time to maybe catch a few other moms and just casually ask. And yep- if there are other kiddos at McDonald's- invite them to join the party!

Hopefully a few others will show, but at least you have the one other rsvp. Set the bar low with your son, just saying how HE will have fun at McDonald's, and that won't it be fun if X shows up too. Then anyone beyond that is a pleasant surprise.

But if you don't have a big turnout, no- there won't be any kindie gossip going around. At that age, it's usually mom, not kid, who decides if their child is able to go to a party. By Monday, none of the other kids will even remember there was a party (if they ever knew to begin with!). Really, this shouldn't be a problem and I wouldn't worry about it.

Good luck- I hope you make a new post with what happened, I feel so invested now!

If it were me, I'd talk up the afternoon with the friend from school. If more kids happen to show up, it will be a bonus surprise instead of a disappointment. If he asks about the other kids, be honest. "I am not sure if they can come. It's a busy time of year. We'll have so much fun with X at McDonalds."

Don't forget to invite neighbors too. I wouldn't worry about being teased. If talks up having a great time, the other kids will only feel like they have missed out.

If you have any contact info, I'd attempt to contact the people who haven't RSVP'd to see if you can get a solid answer from them.

There is no sweet spot. We are dealing with a similar thing right now and I've narrowed lack of response down to the following - parents are inconsiderate & rude & don't have the decency to reply (this is the #1 reason, I think) the invite was never received, the kid doesn't want to go, or the parent won't let their go because they don't know you. I was at least hoping for the parents of the kids DD really likes to RSVP, to open the door for future socialization. Seem most parents just don't care.

For future, I suggest you do what we're going to do and what I wanted to do in the first place - let DD pick out a few friends and celebrate in a fun way with just them. As far as I'm concerned, this modern day process of inviting all the kids is a load of bs and a waste of time. I don't want strangers at my kid's party and I'm sure she doesn't want the class bully there, either. Never again.

I don't think kids will notice or know that no one went.

Are there any neighborhood friends, or do you have any friends from work with small children you can invite? I understand that a child of this age expects to have more than 1 child show up for his party. I think the moms that dont RSVP are horrible - and hopefully they will experience some karma when they go to plan their own child's birthday. We make every effort to attend every preschool b-day party we get invited to. Why? Because its important to the children, and its always fun to go to a b-day party! We show up even when I am not sure exactly who is who at preschool! Sorry you are dealing with this. I do agree with the others that your reaction will dicate how your son feels about this. So if there is only 1 or 2 kids, prepare him for that, but make it no big deal. No, its not personal, but it still sucks for people to behave this way.

Yes it would be rude to say something about what cost of gift to bring. I would get him involved in soccer or scouts, etc then he will make more friends, as will u and they will be more likely to want to come. 3 weeks is good. Most families have other siblings activities to plan around. He probably won't notice the low turnout unless u mention it.

I don't think its in the timing at all. The only way you can have a high non family turn out is to get to know the parents. At least that's from what I've observed. Your child can adore another child but if the parent doesn't know you, most likely you won't get and RSVP or attendance from them.

When my son was 3 we threw him a non family bday - invited all 12 kids in the same level as he was (they weren't all in the same class) at his preschool...5 kids rsvp'd and 2 showed up. I had gone back to school at the time, trying to get my Master's, and didn't have time to get to know any of the kids or the parents...I barely even knew the teachers.

The next year, I was taking a break from school, joined the school board, was my son's room mom and was the parent advocate for the preschool (sort of like a 1 man PTA) and got to know alot of the parents. So for my son's 4th birthday, it was well attended...25+ non family kids.

Every year since then, I've had to plan on 25+ kids coming to my son's parties and most of the time the parents who I've kept in touch with and have gotten to know are the ones whose child comes to the party, and chances are, if there is a parent who doesn't know me, I don't hear from them.

I don't understand parents talking about not going to a party for a stranger. Your kid know this kid. They are in school together everyday. I would not let my children spend the night at someone's house if I didn't know the parents but I would have no problem sending them to a Birthday party. The good news is your son probably won't notice if there isn't a large crowd. That's a grown up thing. He will be happy if a couple of kids show and they have a good time. Next time I would ask him who his favorite friend is in the class? Who does he play with on the playground? etc.. Then you can call that parent and make sure their kid is coming.

I had my daughters party at sonic last saturday, I invited 25 kids, 2 RSVP'd yes, nobody else RSVP's at all. All that turned up were the 2 that RSPD'd, and a couple of her cousins. There were about 4 kids at her 5th party. I was honestly pissed.She didn't notice and still had a good time, but that was the LAST big party I plan. EVER!! lol. It's too much stress, too much money, and people just don't come.

as someone who deals with RSVPs a lot, most people do not RSVP, and most don't decide to go until the day before or the day of. It could turn out great, but of no one comes make it a personal day for him. Make him the king and do something else fun. Good luck.

I had my son's 5th birthday party at a Chuck E Cheese a few blocks from his new pre-school at a time I thought would be convenient for the parents. About 15 kids were invited. Not one kid from preschool came. Not one. but 2 neighbors & 2 cousins did along with my duaghter. My son couldn't have cared less.

At this age the kids don't tease eachother and they probably don't even know about the party as their parents, upon deciding not to go, didn't tell the kids. Remember - most kids don't read at this age and don't quite recognize a birthday invite envelope.

I know when my kids were this age I declined a lot of invitations becuse there were just too many to buy $20 gifts for. We had to pick and choose. so if my kid was constantly talking about Timmy we'd go to Timmy's birthday party. But if I never heard Connor's name mentioned we'd decline the invite.

They say the right number of kids for a celebration is one per year of your child's age. So 6 kids for a 6th birthday party. I finally figured out a good option was a popular movie and my kid's close circle of friends. 6 kids in the mini-van, one parent drives - the other parent comes in the other car with sibling(s). Each kid gets a soda, popcorn or candy (some theatres have a combo pack with a small soda, small popcorn and small candy). Maybe pizza at home before or after the party and a small favor like a water gun. They'd get to sit "by themselves" although my usband and I would sit a row or two behind them to keep them in line.

As for timing - I think 2 weeks is perfect - close enough to know what's going on with your family on that date and not so far in the future that you forget to RSVP.

Your son will have fun no matter what I think.

You're lucky you got any RSVP's at all. Most people have no interest in returning them. They are busy with work and don't want to socialize outside of the home much when they have free time.

I suggest you make friends with some of the other parents and then when you invite them to parties and such they'll be right there alongside you planning and their kids will show up.

I think that inviting the whole class is the right thing to do but not expecting even half of them to come is about right. I always invite our family friends kids to parties too so that I "know" some kids are coming. I have even invited church friends and all sorts of kids. We usually have between 4 and 10 show up, with all those invitations that's all that show up. The last birthday party we did I invited over 25 kids and not one RSVP'd because I said in the invitation they didn't have to, if the wanted to come then come, if they couldn't then we'd miss them and 8 showed up.

2 weeks is perfect. More than that, it will get lost or forgotten. Making any further contact or attempts to the class would seem desperate and pushy. (even tho you are a bit desperate for bodies)

It will be fine. It is ALL about the 'spin' you give off.

To show appreciation for the kid that did show, and to get 'the gossip' going about what a great party was missed, I would go above and beyond for the kid that does show. For the goody bag, ;) I would include a $5 McDs gift card.

Also, as for cake and such, it is a play place. There will be other kids around. I went to a party at Burger King, and while we did have most of the area, there were other kids there that were playing on the equipment and staring at the cake, so the mom asked the parents if it was okay if their kids had some cake. Kids were happy, Mom had less cake. (it was a specialty bakery cake buy the way, not homemade.)

You could also skip the cake, just have cupcakes, and by the kids McFlurry's as the treat. That would be a hit, and not too expensive. :)

I feel your pain! As someone who's gone through this with a (now) 8-year-old, a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old, I can tell you this seems to be a universal problem at all grade levels. The people who responded below that parents won't bring their kids to a party if they don't know you are probably right, in my experience. We normally have pretty big parties (cousins, neighbors, church friends, friends they've made in preschool/sports/school/music lessons), and I'd say 95% of the people who actually RSVP and show up are the ones whose parents I already have a relationship with. I usually send the invites between 2 and 3 weeks ahead of time, by evite if possible (our school has a directory so we have most people's email addresses) so I can send a reminder about 5 days before the party.

I recently took my son to a party for a classmate, and he and one other little girl were the only ones who came - and the girl's parents hadn't RSVPd, so they only knew we were coming. I felt SO bad for the kid and the parents, but I was really glad we went. When I mentioned it to a couple of other kids' parents a few days later, they said they'd just forgotten about it - it definitely wasn't anything personal, but it wasn't a priority, either.

The good news is that at your son's age no one will think a thing about it, and your son's birthday will be as special as you make it for him. My kids never seem to notice who doesn't show up at their parties; they're way too excited about playing, eating cake and opening presents!

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. Planning my kids' parties is one of the most stressful things I've had to deal with as a parent (first world problems, huh?).

Where are people's manners?

If someone is kind enough to want to invite you to their special event, you go!

What about teaching your children the importance of making the new kid feel welcomed?

A child's birthday party is about friendship between children, not friendship between the parents.

I Understand, of course, if you already have plans for that time, however, it ALWAYS costs the person throwing the party money. Be considerate.

I feel a tinge of pain in my heart thinking about ANYBODY waiting for people to show up at their party - and nobody showing.

P., I hope your little guy has a wonderful time and creates great memories of his special day!

You have to get to know the parents. That's the only way to do it! Can you invite a few neighborhood children as well just in case? If you can (and the party isn't tomorrow), pick your child up from school and talk with the parents right there!

We sent the invite a month ahead of time... reminder in the cubby 2 weeks ahead of time and a PLEASE RESPOND to those we still hadn't heard from a few days ahead of time.

We're not doing a big bash this year because we just moved here a few months ago and don't know any of the parents. My son has become buddies with a boy in his class whose family also attends our church, so we know them fairly well. We are taking the two of them to the zoo for the day and will do everything they want to do and give them each $ for a souvenier. He's pretty psyched. I don't want to plan something and have 2 kids show this year either!

He'll be crushed if you are. Don't put your disappointment onto him. Let him have fun if its 1 kid or 20.
I wouldn't send out any earlier than 2 weeks. With older kids, their sports schedules are often not known more than a few days in advance with times. I usually sent out 1 week before as we were often trying to finalize our schedule up to that point.
Many moms post questions like this - its pretty universal. Everyone is so busy that its hard to add another "thing" to your weekend.