6 Month Old Will Not Sleep and Wakes up Early!

I had some difficulties with my children's sleeping patterns too. Cry it out wasn't a good solution for us either. The best thing I found was to keep a strict schedule for at least the first year. It definitely got better as they got older so hang in there!

ETA: per your SWH.. take a chill pill. Not 1 person on here was judgmental of you. You are getting ideas from moms who have been through what you are going through. Don't be so quick to get snappy. We're here to help.
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Original;
It will be ok and his sleep schedule will work out. This is a more difficult part of parenting because you are sleeping less as well.

We went through erratic sleep patterns as well. I don't recall when my daughter was sleeping through the night.

Keep working on it and be patient. Lots of things throw off a sleep pattern.

Best wishes!

My son seriously hated the crib from the get go. We ended up putting him in a toddler bed, with the same mattress from the crib when he was 11 months old. He slept ok in a pack n play crib. The actual crib - it was a nightmare. He cried constantly and woke up every few hours. He slept through the night after we got rid of the crib.

All my babies woke at 5 am. I just got up, fed them, and then they'd have another nap and be up around 9 am. By one year, they were sleeping till 6-630. I just was an early riser with my little ones.

My first was like yours. Sleep training was not for me. It worked, but as you say, my child regressed and started waking again.

With my other babies, I only let them fuss - not cry. It was better for me, and them. I wasn't a wreck. You might have to come up with your own variation.

What worked for me was giving them solids at our meal time, keeping them up (getting gas worked out), and I supplemented with a bottle for my last feed of the day. My milk supply tended to be lowest at the end of the day.

If they did wake in the early morning hours, I did a proper feed and burped them really well. I spent the time getting them settled, and then they'd usually sleep till 5 am.

I co-slept with my last baby, just out of necessity (I was older and tired and didn't feel like getting up in the night any more). By 6 months, I transitioned her to a crib in her room and just spent a few nights in her room (I slept in there, it just was easier for me to get up and shh her than) and it worked. My suggestion would be to find whatever system works best for you. Does not sound like crying it out is your thing.

The thing is, I never thought mine would get there - but they did. Don't let stories of babies sleeping through beautifully get to you. I had a friend whose babies were excellent sleepers and I just felt like I was doing something wrong. They are all different. Hang in there.

Well, you're learning how babies truly are. You can't force a child to go to sleep on command. When a baby isn't tired a baby is going to cry and cry until they wear themselves out and then they'll sleep but it won't be a restful sleep. They'll have gas and snot in their stomach from the crying and it's just not comfortable.

Babies sleep when they're tired. They wake up when they're hungry or rested.

Your baby shouldn't be nursing every 2 hours. That's more like what a newborn does.

If you're feeding him store bought baby food he's starving so he's going to wake up more often because he needs food. Baby food has about zero nutrition in it. It's flavored goo by the time it gets on your store shelf.

Always offer breast first. Then add in a little food. The only reason to feed the baby much food is to get him used to chewing and swallowing so when you introduce real food to him he won't choke. Baby food is a tool, not nutrition.

You do realize, right?, that your baby isn't supposed to sleep 12 hours straight, not at 6 months or 10 months and not even really at a year old. They have tiny stomachs and they are going to be hungry every 3-5 hours. You have a baby. He's going to be hungry. He's going to wake up every 4-5 hours wanting to eat. Until he's over a year and eating solid table food and even then he'll go through stages where he'll wake up starving during the night.

I suggest you go back to putting your baby down when he falls asleep in the evening, like 9:30 and then expect him to wake up in about 4 or 5 hours to eat then go back to sleep for another 4-5 hours. That should put him waking up well after the sun comes up.

A.,

Welcome to mamapedia!

I take it this is your first child. You have realized that there is not much you have control over.

Stop trying new things. You're only confusing him right now. He is SIX MONTHS OLD - not six years.

Moving his bed time to 730 - did it change anything? If it didn't? Then he's NOT an early night sleeper. Stop trying to "FIX" It and and learn more about your son.

At six months old, he should be able to sleep 6 hours without waking. Operative word is "SHOULD" every baby is different.

YOUR STRESS is stressing him out. Please breathe. The first year is the hardest. It really is.

I can't tell you how much my boys sleep habits changed in their first year.

My first one slept the night through at 6 weeks.
My second one? didn't sleep the night through until he was over a year old and had tubes in his ears.

My first one was exclusively breast fed until he was six months old.
My second one? He was on rice cereal at 3 months.

My first one breast fed until he was 2.5.
My second one quit on his first birthday. COLD TURKEY for me. I was devastated.

I'm saying these things to show you that NO CHILD is the same. You need to learn about your child and their habits. DO NOT try to control something you cannot control You cannot force a baby to sleep. I'm sorry. You can't make them sleep on demand. It just doesn't happen that way. I'm sorry if someone told you otherwise. It's great that you and your husband are reading books and trying - but there are some things you have just got to deal with. I have 2 kids. I have experience with this. This is your first. Breathe.

Good luck!

Per your SWH:
Do you realize that all of us have had babies and are giving you adivice that worked for us? We have 20/20 hindsight about this, and you are in the middle of learning. Would you tell your math teacher that she doesn't know what she's talking about when you've never studied math before? Maybe not the best analogy, but you're sitting here arguing with everyone about the math of hours of sleeping without understanding what fixing the problem will do for the number of hours slept as an END GAME. And the end game is what you should be trying to get to.

NO ONE here is criticizing you. We are trying to help you understand why what you are doing doesn't work. If you don't want to listen, fine - we aren't the ones staying up half the night in your house. But if you're going to come on this site and ask questions, don't fuss at the mothers who are answering your question. They aren't judging. They're giving you straight-up advice. There's a difference.

Original:
No wonder you are at your wits end. You are so erratic in your training that he is not able to self-soothe. You are just making things worse.

He should have 2 naps a day, later in the morning and around 2:00. And you are putting him to bed at night too early. Put him to bed between 8:30 and 9:00, but not all at once. Put him down 15 minutes later every 3 nights until you get to 9:00.

When he wakes, let him cry for 5 minutes, then go in a pat him, 10 minutes, pat him, 15 minutes, pat him, etc. DO NOT PICK HIM UP. He will be awful for the first few nights. No matter! No more picking him up and holding him. Everytime you do this, you shoot yourself in the foot here and making this child miserable.

Every child's personality would rather have a parent holding them while they sleep. But it doesn't work. Moms and dads need sleep and babies need to learn how to self-soothe so that when they wake up, they can go back to sleep. As long as they know you are going to bale them out by coming to pick them up or feed them, they will continue to wake up. You condition your child to do this by being SO inconsistent.

It is hard. I know. But when my kids were sleeping from 9:00 to 6:00, life was so much better. They were in daycare and the ladies got all the babies on the same sleep schedule. Life is SO much better for parents and babies when sleep schedules are consistent. And babies NEED to sleep without all this waking so that their brains will grow. Do your child the favor of fixing YOU. This isn't your baby's fault. Being inconsistent and erratic is what you are doing. Your child is just following your lead.

Have you considered co-sleeping? Our oldest always started out the night in his own bed. When he woke the first time at night, I brought him into bed with me. I would nurse him while lying down and actually fall asleep almost immediately. When he woke in the middle of the night, I just latched him on again and went back to sleep. I didn't start doing this until he was 3 months old, but once I did, I got so much more sleep! And I think he did, too.

I found out that one of the reasons he woke up so much at night was that he would wake up and realize that he was all alone. Once I started letting him sleep with us, he would wake and soon realize that he wasn't alone and then go back to sleep without really waking us. So it wasn't long before I wasn't feeding him as often at night.

I know that right now it feels like your little one is eating all the time and not sleeping and you're probably ready to lose your mind. Sleep deprivation sucks!!! But it's important to know that what he's doing is not uncommon. I am so jealous of the fact that your 6 year old slept through the night. Neither one of my boys did that until they were about 2 or 3. They didn't need to eat then, but they woke me up at night!

I get that you want to "fix" this. I really do. But that might not happen. Some kids simply are not going to sleep for long stretches until they are old. Both of my kids really began settling in to a routine when they were about 14 months. That's when they decided to take one - three hour nap each day. They would still wake every night and crawl into our bed (and almost always go right back to sleep), but it was a couple more years before they went to sleep in their own bed AND stayed there the whole night without waking up.

Some kids just aren't great sleepers at first, and it's so hard to find out what they need. Mine was really sensitive to noise and light, so if you think that might be a factor at 4:30, you might consider (if you haven't already), really good room-darkening shades and a white noise machine of some sort. At 4:30, the birds are up chirping and the dawn is coming, and sometimes that's just enough to wake up a child who thinks it's now morning! We found a light-impermeable remnant at the fabric store - some kind of naugahyde or other faux-leather, and we took it on vacations and used it especially at the change at Daylight Saving Time, so you could consider that. (We just hung it over the curtain rod with basic drapery hooks.) If you have regular curtains, you can get room-darkening liners at an curtain outlet store - and try a clothes pin to keep the two panels together. Doesn't look elegant, but it does the job.

Our pediatrician told us that, at 6 months, our child needed to sleep a lot more than he needed to eat. They really need much more uninterrupted sleep for proper brain development, and she didn't want me driving around in a car when I was sleep-deprived either. So she told us to resist the urge to "give in" (as you noted) and the desire to feed. He should not be hungry at night, and if he is for a day or so, he'll make up for it by eating more during the day.

It sounds like the Ferber method you used did start to work - we went in at 15 minutes, then 20, then 40...so you might space your visits out more than 5, 10, 15. You got several good nights after the usual 3 nights of hell, so that's good. But then you had a set-back and it sounds like you changed course. Picking him up works for a few minutes, but then you said he cries for an hour - so it's no different than patting him and not picking him up, if I read you right. So, truthfully, since holding him is not a pattern you want to teach him, I'd go back to the pat/soothe/leave routine, and be sure that you and your husband are taking turns and saying exactly the same words as each other. "You're okay, night-night, time for sleep" or whatever you decide, and that's it. Resist the urge to go back in more often or to break the routine. I'm not sure how to decide what "suits his personality" - that's always the challenge of parenting, isn't it? But even if "feed and cuddle" would be his preference for his personality, you just can't do that. It's not sustainable, it doesn't teach him any kind of decent eating habits (given that, barring medical problems, he does NOT need to eat at night at 6 months). and it doesn't let him develop the security to calm himself down and soothe himself back to sleep.

The bottom line is, he needs this sleep so desperately for his long-term health, you have to bite the bullet and just be miserable for a few more nights and not change the routine. Maybe the darker room and a noise machine (we used an infant "heartbeat bear" for a while and then one of those allergy air filters but you can do anything except a fan blowing air on him) will help in combination with very consistent use of good Ferberizing.

Good luck!

ETA: No one here is criticizing you. I'm sorry you feel that way. These are experienced moms trying to help you get through the rough first year of your sons life. Be thankful you have a place like this. When mine were a year old? This wasn't around. I had to rely on friends and family, each had a different way. Just like here. You asked for help. People were giving you their experiences and that means help.
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A.,

I'm sorry. You really can't control your child's sleep patterns. I've said it before, the first year is tough. He's six months old, not six years. He's going through a growth spurt.

STOP trying new things. If you moved his bed time and he STILL gets up at 4AM? It didn't work. Get him a little more active in the evening so he is good and tired. Ensure he has a full belly, whether it be breast milk or oatmeal, clean diaper.

He doesn't know how to self-soothe yet. That takes time. Be patient. You don't need to constantly pick him up. However, you do need to show him you're there. It's OKAY to go in and pat him on the back, to sing to him softly, to BE there. You don't have to pick him up EVERY TIME. It doesn't make you a bad mama. Promise.

My 3rd son hated a crib. hated it. He was a year old when we took the mattress out and put it on the floor and he was a happy camper.

With 4 kids, I can tell you each of them were different. What worked for one, didn't work for the other. STOP trying new things. Learn about your son first. Six months is a growth spurt for many, not all. When he's a year old? Try working on your methods. But don't start one, doesn't work and skip to the next immediately. A routine takes 3 to 4 weeks to instill. Not one night.

None of my boys went to sleep before 10PM at 6 months. I know it sounds late, but they were tired at 10PM and slept until 6AM. That was the one thing that was the same for all of them. Were there times they were in bed before that? Yes.

Routine and structure really do help a child. They DO pick up on your stress. Even all these years later? Our routine is the same. Dinner, bath, brush hair/teeth, book, bed. My 17 year old? Yeah, he goes to bed at midnight during the summer. He's not six months old anymore.

You can't control his sleep patterns. Please know and understand that. Learn about your son first. You will get through this. I know it seems tough. It is hard. But you will get through it. ALIVE! :)

Does your baby have any medical issues like reflux? That makes a big difference, and things that work for non-reflux babies often do not work for babies that have reflux. If you want to add that info, I might be able to give some additional advice beyond what the wise mommas below have written (which is not criticism, just advice).

You are doing fine.
It's just that there will be growth spurts where more food more often will be needed.
And you are at prime time for teething to start too.
And earaches can happen too.
This isn't something where you will take care of it and it will be done once and for all.
It's a process - 2 steps forward and 1 step back.
And just when you get into a comfortable routine - something new comes along and you have to adjust all over again.
Welcome to Parenting!
It's sometimes a bumpy ride.
While you need to be adaptable - consistency whenever possible will help you in the long run.
Don't go switching from one method to the next in rapid succession.
Your first sleep training method was good - but starting to pick him up again is going to get him into some bad habits.
Nap when the baby naps - and you and Hubby try to switch nights out so one gets a good nights sleep every other day.

My son was sleeping through the night really quickly but then he started teething really early for months and so then it was ruined. And also he just regressed so, I tried everything. A sound machine for sleep helps. Putting a rolled up receiving blanket in the shape of a U under hit fitted mattress where he slept also helped. His little butt would just fit in there and it elevated his legs a little bit. Idk. Was always a comfortable position for him. During the day I would make it so bright in the house. All curtains open so that he knew it was day time and at nap time made it very very dark. Not all kids are the same but I've found in my experience with my kids as well as other friends of mine that kids who breastfeed tend to do this more than bottlefed. They just love that bonding they get. My kids would literally just wake up every 2 hours just to latch on and would go back to sleep and were like 1 year old. So I realized I just had to cosleep to get sleep until they were old enough to wean. And seriously when they were finally weaned they slept like a rock.

I had a similar problem with my son who is now almost 11 months and I can tell you what I've figured out. Cry it out did not work on my son for the most part. His cries were quick to escalate to hysterical and then we couldn't even calm him when we picked him up. Having said that, we do leave him cry (mostly at nap time) but his cries are more of light protest now rather than freaking out. If you want to pick him up then pick him up. I know there's lots of opinions about not giving in but this shouldn't be about a power struggle. No one can learn anything (including how to put yourself to sleep) if they are hysterical.

6 months is a common time for sleep regression. It's also a time of introducing solids, which can create a whole new issue with their digestion. Doctors will recommend starting kids on cereals and rice. Nutritionists tend to recommend starting with fruits and vegetables.Our son was intolerant to wheat, dairy, corn, rice, and gluten. We figured this out through muscle testing and worked with a BIE practitioner to clear his food intolerances. Food intolerances left him gassy, and spitting up lots which translated into shorter blocks of sleep. Once we got a good handle on food he started to sleep longer stretches.

His latch was poor and he took in a lot of air, leaving him quite gassy. If he fell asleep on the boob I'd wake him up to burp him then put him back in the crib either awake or bounce him to sleep. He started waking up around 4am too and just seemed to be up and ready for the day. One day, instead of fighting it, I just put him in the crib and left him to play. He put himself back to sleep when he was ready and that begun the trend of putting him in the crib to put himself back to sleep (after nursing).

As for bedtime, I can see a lot of people are suggesting a later bedtime. I would suggest an earlier bedtime somewhere between 6pm and 7:30pm and cut out the third nap if possible. I didn't believe it would work but this was quite effective. An earlier bedtime should not affect their morning wake up time.

Our sleep patterns are still a bit all over the place but he's usually only up 1-2 times/night. I nurse him if we wakes up after 3 hours. My husband has tried putting him back to sleep without nursing but he'll wake after about 10 minutes of being asleep. He'll give this 3-4 attempts before I give in and nurse him. I'll give him a nurse and a burp and he'll put himself back to sleep without any fussing.

I know it's hard, especially if sleep wasn't an issue with your first child (same with mine). Good luck!

When you give in he learns that if he just holds out long enough you will cave, so he learns to cry for longer and longer periods rather than learning to self sooth. Start by helping him fall back to sleep at night without food. You can rock him, sing to him, ect (dad can help), just don't feed him. He should learn that he can count on you to help him, but that he does not need food to comfort himself. It is a process and may take some time, more then just a couple of nights. Most importantly you have to be consistent, you can not cave. But, I for one would not keep extending the time like that, when I did modified CIO with my boys I kept the time at 5 minutes, and then I would go in and help them sooth (without food of course) and would only leave once they were calm, and then if they started to fuss again I would wait another 5 minutes and repeat the process, but never going more then 5 minutes.

Best of luck, I know it can be hard when they just won't let you get any rest!