5Yr Old Acting Out

This is tough. Sorry you are both going through it. The good news is that at this age she can talk to you. Usually when kids act out there is a reason - they want attention, big changes etc. I would try to talk with her about how she is feeling. Is she sad, angry, bored, scared... Then once you identify that, ask what is making her feel this way. It might take a few tries, and I would really focus on doing it at time she is in a "good" mood. Once you understand why she is acting out, you can address that. For example, if she is wanting more time with you... punishing her is only perpetuating the cycle. Again, focus on the reasons why she is acting this way... good luck to you : )

I suggest that she's having difficulty accepting the birth of a new baby. She's needing extra reassurance of your love.

I suggest that you have times during which she can be treated like a baby. Hold and rock her. Help her get dressed, play baby games with her. Perhaps feed her. Do this at planned times. "Tonight, you're going to be my little baby. Come sit in my lap."

When she is feeling whining and crying, hold her. This behavior says she needs that extra comfort. Hold her for a bit. Sympathize with her. Tell her you know it's hard to have a new baby on the way. Reassure her of your love and how it will always be there. And then get her busy doing something else.

I suggest taking things away from her only adds to her sense of bereavement. She's losing her status as baby of the family and now she also loses her Easter stuff.

She is also angry that there's to be another baby and this causes her to act out and hit. Talk with her about feeling angry and teach her ways to appropriately handle her anger. Go back to the basics about not hitting others. Give her outlets for her anger. Talk with her about how she's feeling. Read some books together about anger issues.

Ways to get the anger energy out is active play. Send her running down the hall or around the yard. I suggest keeping her inside increases her anger and doesn't teach her how to behave. Another way is for her to draw how she's feeling. Encourage her to tell you how she's feeling. You listen only. Don't try to make it better. Allow her to vent.

Your daughter is showing you that she needs some extra loving as well as ways to handle her feelings.

Stop the majority of the punishing and spend as much loving, fun time with her as you possibly can.

Everything Marda says.

I once read that getting a new sibling is akin to your spouse bringing home another partner and saying "we're all going to live happily in this home."
That really gives insight to how traumatic it is in all honesty. They feel incredibly threatened, betrayed, and replaced. Mommy doesn't love me or need me anymore. So she needs a ton of loving one on one fun time with you to reassure her that she's so special to you and that you love her.

I've been in your shoes girlfriend!!!! Long story short, daughter acting out at school in K (5 also), we found that taking stuff away had absolutely no affect on her what so ever. What worked was having her "work" and make good choices for things. The teachers worked up a 5 step-a-day program for her, if she earned all 5 in a day she did things like got 5 minutes on disney.com on the teachers computer, playground time..etc----she totally did awesome after that. The next year no incentive program was required.

I will tell you that the next year I found out that alot of kids in her class were acting out because the classroom was total chaos. It's unfortunate that the administrators at the school failed to inform me of this...

Good luck,
DH

Who is bothering your child at school? What if you are punishing her and she is being bullied. We called our father hit first and ask questions later.
Listen, listen, listen. It really pays off.

Dr. Sears has lots of advice on this... especially scroll down to the bottom section titles "bothersome behaviors": Be sure you maintain a lot of positive reinforcement and stick to your discipline tactics.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp

Here are some good ideas from expert Dr. Kyle Pruett on a new sibling and the link below has more info:

http://tinyurl.com/3b4v2ym

Nothing unsettles the lives of children quite like the birth of a sibling: special event for parents = profound disruption of familial bliss for children. Some children take it in stride, but the majority may not. Having a sibling forces children to share the wealth in an important and healthy adaptation to living in the real world.

If you heard some bad news, like maybe you were going to lose your house or your job and you started to cry, would you want someone to punish you and take away all of your privileges? I am not trying to be harsh, just asking that you look at the news from your daughter's point of view. She heard some "bad/scary" news and she is "crying" in her own way.

She needs to know that she is needed throughout the whole pregnancy and also when the baby comes. Let her know what you need her to do "since she is such a big girl." She might be thinking she will lose her role in the family. She can be the one to bring you snacks or drinks when you aren't feeling well. Or she can be the one to teach the baby songs in utero, or read to the baby, etc.

Since she was a baby so recently, tell her privately that she will be even more important (than the older sibling) to teach the new baby how to be a good baby and how to do things to learn how to grow up, etc. Or if she is the older sibling, tell her why she is so necessary in the process.