R.J.
When my son gets that way about treats we cut off all treats for 1 week the first time, 2 weeks the 2nd time, and a month the 3rd time.
One thing we HAVE learned, however, is to never mention a treat until right before.
Recently took my 5 yr old dayghter to a reading program at 10 am. She asked for a lollipop before hand, we said after lunch and offered another snack. Got to the program and she wanted to leave after 10 minutes. Was completely fine and bubbly on the car ride there. Later learned she wanted to leave because she couldn't get the lolli out off her mind. A week later, took her to a zoo. She had a great time and we said she could get ice cream later. In the car, we asked, "What was your favorite part?" Her answer was, " She didn't have fun because she didn't get ice cream yet." This happens day in and day out. We do not deprive her of treats, but the girl is obsessed, to the point of ridicuolousness. We can have the best time and you ask what the best part of the day was and it will always be the snack/treat. She can not see beyond the food. Let me stress again, we have never deprived her. Any words of wisdom?
Thanks for the advice everyone. Just to clarify, we only allow the treat once or twice a day. All other times we give her the option of fruit, yogurt, cheese or something else with nutritional value. And yes, she gets a multi vitamin everyday.
I particular like the advise on the phrasing of how her day was. Thanks again!
When my son gets that way about treats we cut off all treats for 1 week the first time, 2 weeks the 2nd time, and a month the 3rd time.
One thing we HAVE learned, however, is to never mention a treat until right before.
Hi E.,
She's five, not two. Take away the treats until she gets her priorities straight.
"Grams'
from the Pocono Mts. of PA
My girls were like that as recently as a month ago, seriously, I could have written this post 6 short weeks ago. I just cut out all sweet treats completely from any outings and from our home. Now we have a sweet treat (a really good one to satisfy ALL our sweet cravings, me included) on Saturday. We plan what we're going to have a couple of days before (homemade cupcakes, ice-cream cake, etc), then indulge on Saturday (not to the point of ridiculousness, but a nice satisfying slice of cake goes a long way). They've quickly learned to not even bother asking for a treat on any outing, the answer will be no. It's been tough on me, too. I love dessert as much as they do. But cutting out all that sugar has made me feel better, more alert...and I've lost 4lbs without even trying! So if sweets become an obsession and every time you leave the house it becomes an issue, it's time to cut it out altogether and replace with fruits and cut up veggies. As your daughter starts to understand sweets aren't a regular everyday part of her diet, you can get more lenient. But for now, the best way to stop her addiction (and it pretty much is that) is cold turkey. Good luck!
I would stop deferring treats until "after". Either say yes or no at the time of the request and leave it at that. Your daughter is focusing not on the activities you are doing, but on the "after" because she's been told she'll get a treat then. If you say "No, not right now." when she requests treats instead of promising them "after", she won't spend the whole activity thinking about the treat to come. If she still focusing on treats instead of activities, stop the treats all together. They are treats, afterall. You're not depriving her by not giving her a treat everyday or every time she asks for one. Good luck!
I have kids 9 & 5....first let me say that my experience has been that there are phases they go through.....where they may obsess/get fixated about one thing or another......and just when I am really starting to worry the phase passes. I found that my kids were also getting too fixated on sweets....so we had a family meeting and changed our rules about when we can have sweets. We made Friday night 'treat night' where the kids can pick whatever candy etc they want to eat that night. The rest of the week is 'sweet free' except for the occasional ice cream if we are out somewhere special or at a birthday party. I have also told my kids that if they are at a friends house and they are offered a treat they can have it....don't want them feeling left out......but our new house rule has prevented the asking/begging for sweets that was happening daily before the rule. I had Friday treat night growing up and remember it being such a fun night! We all watch a movie together and have a treat. My kids actually love this new rule and get so excited about Fridays. Works for me! Good luck!
I'm with Annie P. One of my daughters is skinny, but always so hungry. She is not deprived either. I feed her when she is hungry, too, but if she is growing and growing, her body might always feel hungry like the way you feel when you are pregnant.
There are a lot of moms that recommend cutting out all treats. You may want to consider cutting them down but not cold turkey. I have a friend that only lets her kids have one sugary treat a week, no tv or computer except Saturday. Those kids are OBSESSED with treats, TV, and computer and the minute they come over to my house, that is all they want. They act crazed for tv/computer and treats and that is all they talk about or seem to care about. It is weird.
Is she on a multivitamin? Is she getting all of the nutrients her body needs? Also switch to healthier snacks, apples, oranges, grapes, bananas, low fat yogurt, strawberries, plantain chips, granola, etc. She may need to switched to more frequent small meals throughout the day but it sounds like she just likes food which is a good thing. You may need to temper the kinds of foods she is exposed to and see what happens from there.
Maybe, you have allowed them too freely. I feed my son very healthy food, but also don't believe in depriving children of special treats. He does know they are very special and doesn't get them every day, or just because he craves them.
It sounds like she doesn't understand, that the sweet treats, are just that...a treat. They aren't something to be had everyday, or on a whim. Maybe, you could scale back on them and explain often that they are special. If she has a day, where she goes to an activity without complaining, reward her. Give her a treat and explain that she only gets them when she is very good and praise her. Only give them to her on special occasions, like a family night out, holidays, good behavior, etc. Maybe, she will eventually equate treats with a special occasion. If she wants a treat/snack give her some fruit, juice, cheese...something healthy. There is no reason, she can't have a snack while out. ( I'm not saying you wouldn't give her a snack!) If she realizes, when she asks for a snack it means healthy food, she might not ask anymore!! Don't give her something, that should be a "treat" like candy or ice cream as a snack.
This is pretty typical for the age. I know a 7y who is EXACTLY like this! Its hard to get them to think past their next food opportunity. For my 3y, I keep little snacks in the diaper bag.
Another way to think of it is that if its always around it becomes an expectation instead of a treat.
My suggestion is to create a bigger seperation between snacks (fruit, chips, animal crackers) and treats (lollipops, ice cream, etc). Perhaps cut back on the treats a bit. My kids are allowed one dessert a day. Whether that is ice cream, cookies, or a lollipop (not that stricked about lollipops!) If we get ice cream after lunch, then they can't have it after dinner, etc.
For your zoo example, I probably would have asked her to tell me two or three of her favorite animals instead of her favorite part. Its all about the wording.
I have a co-worker who only allows her kids to have dessert on Sunday evenings. For me that's a bit extreme, (I've told her that), but for her lifestyle, it works.
Good luck,
M.
She is being dramatic. I think you may be confusing "snacks" with "treats." I would cut the treats out. A lollipop isn't a snack, it's a treat. She doesn't need daily treats. A snack is something to keep her tummy full between meals. If she's overboard on the treats, cut them out. "Treats" once or twice a day are not treats, they are a habitl Between meal snacks can be a fruit, yogurt, granola bar or crackers. Maybe some deprivation will cause her not to focus so much on treats because she won't be getting them so often.
I think if she is so obsessed with treats it's time to cut them of completely until her little brain is clear. My daughter does get very demanding sometimes and that's what we do.
Good luck!
I think you just have to keep it all balanced...thats what she's going to learn later in life. Thats its ok to have a treat in a small quantity as long as everything else is in balance. Snacks and treats are NOT evil as some people suggest...right now this is what she is focused on , I'm sure it will change. She's still young so obsession on things makes sense to me...LOL. The key is to keep her ACTIVE too. I can't stand when people blame ONLY food. The obesity problem in this country is on INACTIVITY too and the imbalance of diet and exercise overall. I'm sure your daughter is enjoying all things right now but as most toddlers are, they want what they want with no wait, so thats maybe why she is so focused on it. She's still learning patience and time frames. You're doing just fine IMO. Don't stress.
I am with the other moms who feel like you need to address her wanting a "treat" all the time (once a day seems more than enough), but I am ALWAYS hungry--always--to the point that it pretty much consumes my thoughts till I get to eat once the need hits me. I don't need to eat much, but I do need something. I eat very healthy and am not at all overweight and never have been, but I when I'm out and about with others who seems to be able to go 5 hrs without eating it sort of stresses me out because I'm afraid I'll get sick from being hungry. As a consequence I always have food with me (a banana, cheese, etc)...do you think it's a possibility that when you're away from home she's worried about where her next source of food will come from? Just an idea...
You have answered your own question. You keep saying you don't deprive her. It isn't depriving to say "no" once in a while. You set boundaries. You are teaching her very bad habits for as she grows up by allowing her to have all of these snacks. If our kids get ice cream once a week, they are lucky. They used to eat a lot of fruit snacks and lollipops and just junk in general as well but we saw what we were doing to them, what we were teaching them, and how it was affecting our oldest's weight as he got older. Now their idea of a snack is a gogurt, banana, apple, maybe a flavor-ice once in a while.
I like the idea someone gave of making smoothies basically. You could do it a healthy way with fruit, yogurt, etc. and she probably wouldn't know it was healthy for her.
Honestly though, she does not have to have junk as a treat even once or twice a day. It is still teaching her bad habits, still too much sugar, etc. Her snacks should be the yogurt and such that you mentioned she normally eats.
I think you should stop giving her treats altogether! She is obviously fixated on them. Why does she need one every day? Just stop. On special occasions, it's fine, but don't tell her about it before hand. If she asks, tell her she can have one treat, but thats it. Then stick to your guns, don't give in. If she keeps this up, she could be headed for trouble later in life. Also, on the occasions you allow treats, if she says it was her favorite part, let it roll off your back. If you stop giving them everyday, she should stop this behavior.
It sounds like she's addicted to sugar.
You need to cut out all sweets. ESPECIALLY if she's getting them everyday.
I have been searching around for help on my 5 year old daughters obsession with sweets and snacks! I know your post is old but how is it going? any tips
When I first read your post, I was just going to say ignore her. She is just hamming it up. But when I saw that she gets a treat once or twice per day????? That's not a treat, that is a lifestyle. She is not valuing the other food she gets, and maybe only eating it to get to the treat. We have treats once a week maybe? Mayb tha tis what you meant.
I had a similar problem last year? After school one week we ended up going out to lunch on three days. Unusual for us - but for weeks afterward, my daughter asked ot go out to eat every day and every meal. It was ridiculous. I basically I totld her eating out was a treat and a grownup decision and if she asked me, we weren't doing it. She went a week wihtout asking and so Idid take her to lunch. Just needed to get her out of the habit of expecting it, and then it was genuinely a nice surprise which she valued,
At least she is being honest. ;-) No seriously my son was like that so what we did was allow him his snack after dinner and we placed stipulations such as he had to be good all day, eat his meals, and definitely no crying (was and still is a biggy). If he asked or dwelled on the snack then he didn't get it. I always have snacks such as fruit, homemade banana oatmeal and chocolate chip oatmeal cookies/bars, or fruit cobblers or salads with watermelon jello. I'm not a fan of lollipops because my daughter sliced her tongue open on one and I absolutely hate those DumDum ones because it came off the stick and my son choked on it. Also I keep ice cream in the house at all times, it is a great source of calcium. You can make her a treat with ice cream, fruit, vanilla, and milk, throw everything in the blender, the kids love it. Hope this helps.
Hugs,
T.
Hi,
i know this will not be a popular response, but I would suggest you take the whole issue off the table, in the following way. How about, on the occasions when you decide that a treat is ok, just let your daughter have it when she chooses. Don't make it a reward or contingent on anything. Just give her the choice, But, make it clear that there won't be another later. In these situations, it is always my first reaction that if we start now, it's going to be a junk fest all day, but if the onus is on the child, they understand fully the choice they are making and you stick to your guns later when they beg for treat number two, they can really learn something. Also, once the forbiddeness of it is removed, the obsession might just go away on its own. There's plenty of research to back this up. It's really worth a try.
Good luck!
C.