5 Yr Old Boy with Panic and Anxiety

There's a good book: Freeing Your Child from Anxiety: Powerful, Practical Solutions to Overcome Your Child's Fears, Worries by Tamar E. Chansky.

Check your library or go to places like amazon that have reviews and recommendations for similar books for some other ideas for resources.

I have a question for you to consider: Is this anxiety effecting his life to the point that he does not function or that you avoid everyday experiences? If you say yes, or you have to think about it, then I would consider consulting a board certified child psychiatrist. It may seem that he is too young, but anxiety is a medical issue created by a cheimical response in his brain and if he cannot over come this by himself, then he might need help. Just like kids with too much stomach acid can't think away the reflux, kids with out of control neurotransmitter production can't control anxiety.

We had a child like this. Worried about everything until finally, she could not get on the bus to go to school. It was painful to watch her. Within 3 weeks of treating this issue, she was a different child. I kicked myself for waiting because the answer for our daughter was so simple. I would not hessitate if you think he is misserable, but you will likely get a lot of advice to not medicate, try diet, etc,etc.

Try this. Apply any advice you get to his kidneys instead of his brain. I mean, instead of getting anxiety, insert "pees too much." If you do, you will laugh and see that this, like any other medical problem, is not subject to what "we want" them to have (who wants their kid to have kidney deseas, but no one tries to come up with a different diagnosis to avoid it.) The brain is an organ in your child's body, like all the rest.

Hope this helps, there is real help and releif out there.

M.

You are not alone and neither is he. We were told by the therapist to encourage more individual sports like tennis or karate. Things he would not be working in a team yet. That way he is not comparing himself to others as much.

I'd have him work with a counselor, they have great resources for helping him overcome fears and get to the bottom of them (or if something else is causing them). Its no fun for anyone to have him upset all the time.

You are talking about my son. Was always a worrier and same reaction if he didn't do well as others he'd cry. He would cry about a comment made two years ago about a classmate who told him he didn't draw well, if we happened to be on that topic he'd bring that memory up and cry like it just happen. He too is wonderful, smart and could not be more loved from my entire family most especially me and my hubs. I was at my wits end as I don't want him to go through life having a difficult time where it should be easy. This year he and I were crossing the street and were nearly run over. At the time he was shaken but seemed ok. The next day he wouldn't cross the street, was hysterical and it continued for days. That was it for me I had to help my boy. I took him to a child psychologist, I met with her first so she had an idea about my "weight of the world on his shoulder boy". He has been seeing her for almost 3 months and it has been awesome. They play games and talk about him only(he loves takling about himself LOL). She is getting him to understand himself and he is able to work out an anxious moment better than before. He "volunteered" to join Little League baseball this year and there was a big mix up on the first night of practice, wrong team assignment and he wasn't able to play that night. I was waiting for the "i'm not good enough and crying", it didn't happen. He said "ok, I'll wait to see who is my coach, mom while we are here can we go into the park and play a bit?" and he ran off happily. I was the one who cried because I was so happy for him my boy is on his way to clear a path for himself where he has the tools to react to a situation in a positive proactive way. Sometimes you need a little outside help. The dr told me you can love a child, encourage him and build his self esteem and they can still be like our boys because everyone is different. We go to our local counseling ctr with a sliding scale, which helped us as in the beginning we didn't have insurance. You are SOOOOO not alone and neither is your darling little boy.

You will probably have to try many things and be consistent to help your boy. I agree with the Mom that suggested getting toxins out of your home. Start with your cleaners. Send what you have to the chemical city dump and replace with this: http://healinghappens.myshaklee.com/us/en/products.php?sk...
I would put your boy on a couple of really good vitamins:
http://healinghappens.myshaklee.com/us/en/products.php?sk...
http://healinghappens.myshaklee.com/us/en/products.php?sk...

Next, I would get him evaluated by a counselor that specializes in anxiety. Be sure your school is a good fit for your child. A large classroom for example may overwhelm him. Has his anxiety gotten worse since starting school? There are classes with smaller classrooms and schools that take the individual child into account.

You are beginning a journey to help your child. YOU are are great Mom because you are not afraid to begin on the journey and have recognized an issue. My youngest son also had anxiety. He is in college now and constantly learning new techniques to "zen" out. Your child will be just fine because you are his Mom.

Let me know if I can help further or advise you on the links I sent.
Best of Luck,
P.

HI M.,

My youngest was like that. I noticed it mostly with her school work when she just was starting to read. She would tell me that she knew something but she couldn't tell me what it was and she would almost have a fit trying to get it out. she always told me her sister was smarter than her and she was dumb (Absolutely NOT the case). She was also hyperactive. The doctor diagnosed her with ADHD.

I'll make a long story as short as I can. My sister recommended that I detox my home and see if that made a difference. After a while I was willing to try anything, so I did. I removed every synthetic chemical out of my home.

I saw a change immediately but it was eight weeks later that I knew I had done the right thing. She was reading at her grade level! Everything I had been teaching her was actually there just like she told me. There were so many chemicals in the house (normal stuff like Clorox, Pledge, Windex, etc) that I was poisoning her. These things are neurological toxins that outgas and contraindicate just like meds (the other synthetic chemicals) do and I was the one exposing her to them. She actually knew how to read, knew all the vocabulary words but simply couldn't articulate them because her little brain was so scrambled. The doctor removed her diagnosis.

When she was older (she's 14 now) she was able to tell me exactly how it felt. She doesn't panic anymore. She doesn't get overwhelmed. AND nobody in our home ever gets sick.

This may not be what's going on in your little guy's life but it's worth it to see if it is something this simple to fix. Detoxing IS simple and can be inexpensive. I'll be glad to tell you what I did if this interests you.

God bless,

M.

My son, who just turned 7, has the same problem. He gets so down on himself and thinks everything has to be perfect the second he's taught something new. It was so bad he was having nightmare almost every night. The first thing we did was take him to a counselor. The hardest part was getting the teachers to understand that he's not angry at them or his classmates, but himself. While he still has struggles, the nightmares have stopped and all of us are learning techniques to cope and help him work through things. It's a process, but we make progress little by little everyday. He does still see his counselor about twice a month, at least for now as this seems to be helping with his stress level.

I agree with detoxing your home. Look into ADHD and if he has the symptoms, aspergers. An IgG food sensitivity test and elimination diet can really help some kids. Alletess has one for $85, I think it is $129 with the diet plan. It is a blood test.

Have you tried "mirroring" his feelings? Instead of trying to tell him why he shouldn't feel bad, say, "yeah, it can feel bad when you can't do something," or "not getting as many goals doesn't feel good sometimes." In our efforts to make someone feel better, we often ignore the truth in what they are feeling. While most of us aren't as hard on ourselves as your son is, it actually DOES feel bad to not do as well.

You can then follow that up with, "but it's okay to not do well, sometimes," or something like that.

I believe you when you say you didn't make him like that, but he does have a very self-critical nature, which over time maybe you can soften. All I know is, if you don't mirror his strong emotions, you will NOT get them to go away. Mirroring emotions is very important, no matter how wrong the emotions may be. Just the fact of mirroring them often is enough to make them go away.

When is his birthday? The reason I ask is my son was recommended for pre-kindergarten. Due to many reasons I chose to put him in regular kindergarten. He wasn't ready. II signed him up for soccer as well and he just refused to do it.

The following year I put him in jr. 1st grade, which is an interim between kindergarten and first grade. Turned him around 360. After that he was much more confident in and out of school. School was much easier for him as well.

My son's birthday is July 29th. He is now 15 and in 9th grade and I am so glad we chose to give him that extra year.

Hope this helps.

You might want to find a therapist that does cognitive behavioral therapy, it's very good at addressing this kind of thinking. I believe Children's Hospital has a clinic that specializes in this. Not sure of anywhere else.
Hope that helps.
L.