My 5 year old son has been SO whiny lately. If I tell him he can't have something, he just says "please please pleaasssssssssssssssse" and when I still say no, he gets mad/sad/whiny. Also, when I tell him to do something like, go to bed, he dawdles (more than usual) and flat out ignores me (ie. walking to the kitchen saying he needs to do something).
He wasn't like this until a few weeks ago and it's driving me crazy. Is this a normal phase or do I need to dust off the 1, 2, 3 Magic book???
Argh.
Thank you to everyone who answered! Each of your answers were SO helpful. I was really worried my son was turning into a snotball and that I had ruined him somehow lol. I'll go dust off that 1,2,3 book tonight. Thanks again all! Happy Valentines Day!!
Normal boundary testing. My response to whining is "Please talk normally. I can't understand you when you are whining." And I give no response until the whining stops.
As for the ignoring, yes, I'd go back to 1 2 3 Magic to deal with that.
Normal stage.
Think about yourself when you want something...you want the sunshine &
it rains...darn or you want Starbucks but you don't have the money or
the time to get it ....it's frustrating but we, as adults, have the coping
skills to deal.
Disappointment is hard at any age but especially when you are young as
you have no control over your life so you try to exert control when or
where you can.
I like to give choices (you can wear these pajamas or these or you can
watch this cartoon or turn it off 30 mins early for snuggle w/mom & a
story etc.).
Have a bedtime routine you start every night at the same time that you
do WITH him. Sets a routine, signifies bedtime is coming etc.
I walk my kids through their routine so there's no dawdling. I make it fun,
who wants a piggy back ride to the bathroom to brush their teeth?
If I were to ask my husband to help me with something, he dawdles.
Human nature.
Work WITH the problem instead of against it. Find out what works for your child.
Give him a chance to get a drink of water etc.
Always give a heads up, "it's bedtime in 30 mins").
They start learning at this age that they can ask for things (staying up later, that they can be allowed their feelings (sad, mad etc.). While you can allow feelings of sadness or disappointment it's our job to find a way
to teach routine, good hygene, get a cute toothbrush, kid toothpaste etc.
It's normal. Just be patient,
This stage too shall pass.....until another one comes.
I'd venture to say if we were able to watch a lifelong video of all of us growing up, we'd be surprised at our stages & then thank our parents apologizing for giving them their premature grey hair. ;)
Try walking him through the routine. We like to "shut down" the house as a family. Of course, hubby & I don't go to bed at the same times as our kids but it's a fun routine. I like it.
Also, know it's normal to become disappointed at different stages in life. It's just as adults we've learned to suck it up & keep the whining to a minimum. When I want to whine at my hubby, I do it internally in my head. ;)
Dust off the 1,2,3 book lol. And remember you just need to figure out what the consequence is. In my case the consequence was almost always something electronic. TV video game etc. now days it will be ipads, ipods and phones lol. Good luck.
Normal.
Tell him matter of factly you can't understand Whine and to use his big boy voice. And then ignore him.
If he dawdles, then remind him that he will lose time to do x. Like since my DD took for-ev-er to get into the bath last night, there was no time for a snack. The window of opportunity closed.
Probably a phase ... just when you think you've figured it out a bit, you go and hit a new phase ...
I have one around this age, and as they are growing up they start testing you a bit more, to see what they can get away with. I noticed this in all my kids once they started school.
Just don't give in to it. Stay firm. And if he's not cooperating, then it's time for consequence. If my little ones dawdle at bedtime, I say "Then no stories".
Good luck :)
Normal, frustrating. Love and logic - the choice thing - can help. Don't know if it's a "discipline" issue like of "in trouble" level, but perhaps a "rule/behavior refresher" :)
Whining - hate that. I usually say "I don't understanding whining voice, please ask nicely" - and don't respond to the whining other than to say that. Thank him for asking nicely when he does.
Normal. These things come and go. Yes it takes discipline. My son took a LOT of discipline for a serious recurring whining habit!! My two daughters were pretty easy to correct for this. My son's not whiny now at 7, but there were tiiiiiiimes..
Normal but whining was something I wouldn't tolerate (can't STAND that sound!) I would just say, I will listen to you when you speak in your normal voice, and then walk away. If he continues tell him he can go in his room if he wants to whine, he'll learn.
Normal but in our home we say," I need you to use your regular voice. "
"Go to your room and find your regular voice. "
Whining makes my ears bleed. Nothing is given when whining is used. Just give the same answers and never give in.
Whining comes from children that are tired, frustrated, or bored. Deal with the symptoms and stick to your rules.
another problem with age 5 is they get busy, they cut down on sleep, and they get very overtired! I told whiny kids, "you sound tired, bedtime will be early tonight" and I followed thru with it. It's not a punishment its a gift!
If he dawdles, tell him he has to go to bed 15 min earlier the next day. Begging and whining just need to be re-taught, he's just testing his boundaries.....normal.
Pretty typical... he's pushing the boundaries again, just trying to see if you are serious and mean business!
Ignore the whining, and enforce what you say.
Go back to 1,2,3
both!
it's a whiny age. but that doesn't mean you don't handle it, sternly and promptly.
and no, ignoring me would not fly well in this house, o no my precious.
so yes, it's a normal phase and yes, you should never let 123 magic gather dust!
khairete
S.
