Hi ladies, I have a very distraught co-worker who's daughter has a fear of peeing at school because she's afraid kids will walk in on her. This has resulted in her bladder stretching out and could cause permanent damage if she doesn't re-train her bladder. They have bought her a vibration watch that vibrates every 2 hours to remind her to use the bathroom. Her teachers are aware of the issues and all are on board with helping her. Her daughter is developing some real social anxiety and doesn't want to partake in school activities. My co-worker got a call that her daughter was in the bathroom during the entire gym class and was found crying in the bathroom cause she "couldn't go" and that she wanted her dad. It's my understanding that this can be an issue for girls between 4-8 yrs old. My coworker's biggest concern is what the long-term effects of this will be psychologically for her daughter. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks.
Talk to her teacher first. I was afraid to ask because our teacher said we could hold it until recess, so one day I peed my pants in class. Tell the teacher there is a problem and you need help. Maybe volunteer one day and go with her so she knows the routine the next time by herself.
This really sounds like a much bigger issue than "how do I get my daughter to pee at school." Based on what you've shared it appears that this little girl is developing some increasingly significant emotional issues. It would probably be wise to consult with a pediatric psychologist that specializes in inappropriate coping skills or personal/social challenges. Don't let it go on too long with out some help.
I taught a girl 6-7 who did the same thing. We found that a "private" bathroom with a locking door helped. It was in our nurses office so every two hrs she would go there and try. They were there to monitor her but no one could walk in in her. Could she have a friend help by going with her to make sure no one else can come in? I would also allow her to use the teachers bathroom after I dropped the kids off at lunch. I'd stand outside the door so she could go and she trusted that I would Keep her safe! Also talking to the school guidance counselor helped. As a teacher I also taught the class an age appropriate lesson on privacy in the bathroom, we came up with a list of bathroom rules, and all the students signed it. It helped and kids would tell me if someone was doing something against one of the rules and that child saw that it wasn't just her afraid! I know she saw her pedi more and was sometimes on stool softeners to help so keep her pedi involved too! Hope that helps and know she isn't the only one!
If everybody understands she has this problem, maybe until she gets past it, the staff would be willing to let her use their staff bathroom. Have your friend send in some bathroom-cleaning wipes so she (5 YO) can wipe down the seat when she's done going potty. Maybe she could have a potty buddy (like soldiers have battle buddies) who can guard the door for her while she goes.
I think seeing if she'd be able to use the staff bathroom would be best though, it's usually a 1-butt bathroom w/plenty of privacy.
