Hi there. My 4 y/o got into a phase where she was copping an attitude with me just like this. Rude, defiant, bratty. I couldn't believe it! i think they get to thinking they rule the roost at some point and they know everything and they don't need us anymore... anyway, this is what I did and it worked:
I made a rule chart and went over it with her and her little sister. Rules included show respect, do what mommy and daddy say the first time, and help keep the house looking nice. I figured it wasn't fair to expect her to follow the rules if she didn't know exactly what they were. I drew little pictures and made it a game of them matching the pictures to the rules (because they can't read they needed a visual to remind them of the rules) and I posted them on the wall.
Then I went Supernanny on her with the time out. If she was even a little bit rude or disrespectful, she got time out for four minutes. Things I would have let slide before, I no longer tolerated. Right to time out. She hated it. She would sit in the chair announcing, "I don't want to be in time out! Get me out of here! I hate time out!" That's when I knew I was winning. :) Literally 2 days later, she was an angel again. No backtalk, good listening. So I was able to relax the discipline a little. Even now though (she's almost 5) if I see her starting to get all cocky and rude again, I institute strict time outs and it usually straightens her right up. Oh, I also took away a toy for repeat offenses-- for example, if you do that one more time, I'm taking away a toy. I don't tell her which toy and she gets all concerned, asking me which toy it is so she can gauge whether or not it's worth repeating the offense. So funny-- they are so clever sometimes. I tell her I don't know which toy I'll take away but I can guarantee it'll be one she loves and doesn't want to lose. Then she'll ask me for how long it'll be gone and I say until she can be respectful again and follow the rules for a little awhile-- maybe a week, maybe a month, maybe forever. That threat always seems to work around here. Anyway, good luck.
Oh, here's something dad can try. He should tell her to clean up her room. She will refuse. He should tell her that he can go and clean up her room, but if he does it's all going into a garbage bag and she won't see it again. If she calls him on it, he needs to follow through, though. If she really lets him pick it all up, it will have to go to charity or garbage or (the most painful to watch for her) garage sale. I bet you'll never have a problem with room cleaning after that. But you have to be willing to give away or sell some nice and/or valuable toys-- not easy. Luckily, we haven't had to do that.
If the problem is that she doesn't really know how to clean up properly, standing there coaching her can help. I.e. pick up the books and put them on the bookshelf. Now get the barbies and put them in that bin. Sometimes a huge mess is overwhelming for them, but I taught my daughter to break it into pieces, just focus on one thing at a time, and now she's the best cleaner upper I've seen-- even separates the toys out into appropriate bins. It's a learned skill, so to give your daughter the benefit of the doubt, some clean-up coaching may help.
Okay, I'll stop blathering. Again, good luck!