4 Year Old Waiting to Poop in His Pull-up

Does he stay dry (no pee) when he sleeps? Does he have to have a pull-up for sleeping because he doesn't have good enough bladder control yet? Because otherwise I would just totally ditch the pull-ups - they are just glorified diapers for most kids. Put him in big boy underpants full time and have him help clean up any messes he makes in them. But don't have him sitting on the toilet for 20 to 30 minutes at a time - that's just too long. I don't have my daughter sit for more than 2 or 3 minutes if she is not having any luck. Find some other smaller rewards that you can offer him for going poop on the potty successfully each time - M&Ms, stickers, fake tattoos, Matchbox cars, etc. M&Ms and stickers/stamps on a chart for each poop on the potty have helped with my daughter and if she gets 3 in a row with no mess in the pants, she gets polish on her toenails (a very cool thing for her!).

This is no joke. My 4 year old daughter was doing the same thing. We tried everything but nothing motivated her. Finally, I had it. I took all of the diapers/ pull ups out of her drawer and that night, I had her go pull out one. There was nothing. She wasn't surprised or upset. I asked her where they went, she responded "there gone". I said, well, what does that mean and she said "well, I guess it means that I need to go on the potty". It was really and truly that simple.

I lined her bed with mattress cover, sheet, mattress cover and another sheet. We have had a few accidents but I will take it any day over the other. You might give it a try.

Oh and I did get her up to pee/ potty before I went to bed.

Good luck.
N

I would still toss the pull up and get one of those bedtime alarms. They are pricey, but you'll actually be saving in the long run due to saving on the pull ups. If you go to Amazon, do a search for "potty training alarm" and it'll pull up the options. We bought a rather expensive one for our four year old and will be trying it soon. We wanted a cheaper one, but it seemed to have the best ratings. We bought the Malem Ultimate Bed Wetting Alarm. Then that way he'll have no where to poop but in his bed or the toilet. Oh, and, of course, bed sure to get a bed cover to keep the bed dry:-) Good luck!

Hi, M. T. Search on "pull-ups" in Mamapedia recent posts and you'll find other moms with the same issue! Yes, the pull-ups must go and as others noted, he must become responsible for cleaning up all messes that result.

This is not fun for you; in fact it will be very stressful for a while, but if you can be absolutely consistent, you'll get there.

Have HIM throw all the pull-ups that remain into the trash can and put the lid on firmly. Praise him a lot for being a big kid, for saying goodbye to the pull-ups and for having the terrific new underwear you got him --- with his favorite character on it or whatever. (Have lots of extra underwear and extra sheets etc. ready in advance. Also be sure you have a couple of those waterproof mattress covers, one on the bed, one ready to go on when the other gets soiled.)

When he poops in his bed, you get him up; he helps strip the bed; he walks with you to the laundry room sink if you have one or the tub if you don't; and HE does at least some "washing" of the sheets. If you really want you can put plastic gloves on him since poop's involved..But I think if you just whisk the sheets away and you stick them into the washer, he does not get the full impact that HE must help clean the mess, so I'd have him do at least a few minutes of washing out the sheets somehow.

Then he has to wash himself up, maybe even have a shower in the middle of the day (many kids will quickly do anything to avoid bathing in the daytime so that alone may motivate him soon). Then he has to wipe up the floor where anything spilled, maybe even if anything didn't, but "just in case."

And he has to re-dress, which kids also often hate to take time out to do. Then he has to help make the bed. Let him do as much of that as possible even if it's not perfectly done.

He should figure out pretty fast that this is not only interrupting his sleep time; it's going to eat into his play time as well. You need to be calm with him throughout and not punish or yell: "I'm sorry but you're a big boy and big boys help clean up when there's a mess. I'm sorry this means there's less play time but you can play only when this is all done." Thank him for helping out -- always. Do be sure to go in and remove toys, once he's asleep, from the area where they could get soiled, especially toys that can't be washed.

As long as he's in pull-ups at any time, he will use them. If he's otherwise potty-trained he can do it; he may indeed be having some trouble, while sleeping, feeling his body's need to poop until it's too late. But the use of the pull-ups has meant he doesn't have to learn to feel the need in bed, and somehow his body's begun to associate being in bed and lying down with "time to poop" and it's OK because it doesn't even have to wake him and the pull-up takes care of everything.

You'll have a period of crankiness if he interrupts a lot of naps with the bed change, which is too bad, but if you reinforce using the toilet all other times with a lot of positives and rewards, at the same time you stick hard to the "clean up" routine every single time, he should get the idea.

Is his poop hard? If so, I'd give him Miralax on an ongoing basis until he has mastered pooping in the toilet. My older daughter was resistant at first to pooping in the potty because her poop was hard and it hurt to go. Once we resolved that issue, she was good to go. (Miralax is not a laxative, it just makes the poop soft, and is not habit forming in any way.)

If bribing him worked, give that a try again. I wouldn't make it something big, but just something he really likes. Maybe going swimming, or to the park, or something like that, that "big kids" get to do.

I hope you find something that works!

STOP USING PULL UPS!!!! put your son in big boy underwear. I HATE pull ups. They are TOOOOO much like diapers. My son speed up his potty training the minute i put him in big boy underwear. Within 3 days a full time underwear, he was potty trained. Over night he was night trained (all by his doing) and my son is 3y.

Once he realizes its HIS responsibility to use the potty, he will change his tune. Sometimes some kids get lazy. By 4 your son should have control over his bladder and bowel movements and know they signs well enough to keep his accidents under control. Unless he has an underlining bladder issue.

With my son I had to find what reward stuck with him. As the rewards I was giving him were not encourage him at all (he got a train each time, that lasted twice). Then I backed off on the rewards and didn't give him anything. I also stopped telling him to go potty/poop, that it was up to him to start being responsible for his movements. Accidents happened and I NEVER got mad at him. I actually told him that its ok and there is always next time and I encouraged him to try harder next time.

Also made my son clean up his own accidents. After a while it starts to get to them and they find it really dirty. In the beginning my son thought it was cool to see poop fall out of his underwear and land in the shower. Several times of this happening he changed his tune.

The biggest success for my son was wearing big boy underwear and always telling him he is a big boy and its time for him to do big boy things. When he would do a big boy thing, he would say to me, "mom, look I can do a big boy thing." Or if he had an accident he would apologize and say "i will try harder next time mom". and he would.

My son got tons of praise, high fives, congrats, you did awesome, etc...I really played up his success in going potty. He also was allowed to go potty where he wanted to and how to go potty (sit/stand, little or big potty). Made the potty training his choice and for him to succeed on his own, without much from me. On occasion I would ask, by chance have you gone to the bathroom? Usually he will go, oh yea...and run to the bathroom. After a while he just took it upon himself to do it without a settle reminder.

Now its just second nature to him and picked it up immediately!

its hard work and not easy. I been trying since October 2010 in getting him potty trained (when he was 2). He just wasn't ready. Now after hard work, patience, trial and error, he finally was ready and did it all by himself!

We had to switch entirely to under wear for our 3+ yr old to quit waiting for the pull up. This even meant at night. I put those big absorbant pads (can get at Target) to cut down on midnight bed changes, and after about a week she was using the potty. We commend her for "listening to her body" and she's gotten pretty proud of herself so we pretty much avoided the bribes (we have been lucky on this one!).

No more Pull-Ups! Those things are so dang absorbent & comfy, that they hinder potty training more than help. I really feel like they are a b.s. marketing scheme to make money, because they don't help at all! Getting rid of them & using undies did wonders for our potty training. Let him feel the pee & poop all smooshed up against his skin, in his undies a few times, and in his bed. Let him get uncomfortable. Yes, it will be messy & gross, but that goes with the territory.

My husbands oldest was placed in pull-ups for night-time use with his mother, he got so use to having the pull-ups on at night and nap time that he just continued doing so- and to this day (he's almost 13) he still has night time issues. Take the pull-ups away, if he messes have him help you place his bedding in the wash and re-make his bed. This isn't punishment, it will just show him that until he stops doing this and starts getting up to use the restroom he will need to help you out. Also you may want to use a softner to help him go to the bathroom. He sounds like he may be constipated. Good luck M..

My daughter did the same thing!! A Mani/Pedi motivated her, but what really made it click was I started rewarding her again for peepeeing on the potty. She had been pp trained for 8 months but would not poop! Ugh
I lett her pick out candy (she chose mini Reese PB cups) and when I'd give her the marsh m for pp, I'd remind her that if she pooped she gets the chocolate. I also told her while we were at the store buying the chocolate that she's a big girl now and doesn't wear pull ups anymore. I let her pick out panties too. Anyways, it took maybe 2 weeks (seemed like foreverrrrrr) but she finally pooped on the potty!!!!!!! It just clicked finally & now she loves to poop on the potty....she really loves chocolate! :D Good luck with him, he will get it soon I promise!!
ETA: She does wear pull ups for naps/night time. But she's a big girl bc she wears panties during the day. She had been doing that before, but when I said it, and told her, she thought it was different for some reason! :D

Take away the pull ups. My daughter has the same issues. She does great at night. She wears underwear all the time until she has to poop and then she asks for a diaper (pull up). She will wake us up at night if she has to pee. She can't go on her own cause she can't reach the light switch. So I do not have a problem with her waking us for that. She has only had 2 accidents in the last 3 months cause she was in such a deep sleep that she didn't feel that she had to go. I told her that once the pull ups are gone I am not buying any more so she needs to learn to poop in the potty. I do not take any pull ups with us when we go out so she has no choice but to poop in the potty. It may take a few times taking her to the bathroom but she does finally go. When she is at my parents she will use the potty cause they don't have any pull ups either. I ask her if that feels better then using a pull up and she tells me yes but the next time insists on a pull up. Once they are gone she will have to use the potty. She does not want to poop in her underwear so she will just have to use it or she goes in her underwear. I am so proud of her for not peeing in her underwear, now we have to see what happens when she has to poop again. You have to be tough and patient. Best of Luck!

give him underwears and let him go and he would hate the feeling to the point were he would start using the bathroom on his own..

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. My son is 5 and I had the same problem him. This issue had me so stressed for the past 2 years. He would tell us he refuses to poop on the potty because he is scared. He would hold his poop all day until he got his night time pull-up. Some days, he would poop in the pull up within minutes of putting it on. Even after he sat on the potty and tried for 45 minutes. I tried so many things and nothing worked. His pediatrician pediatrician told me that there is nothing that I can do to make him poop on the potty and that everything that I had been doing was making the situation worse. She told me to put him on miralax to loosen the poop up and get him to go more regular. She told me to put a stack of pull ups in the bathroom and if he has to go, then let him use a pull up, change him and don't say a word about it. She also told me to have him change the pull up himself, but I can only imagine the disaster that would be. She told me that if I take away the night pull-up, then he might hold it and that will cause other issues. Well...basically we just backed off the issue completely for a few months. Just about a month ago (after 2 1/2 years of working on this), he FINALLY pooped on the potty and has never gone back to the pull-up. I took away the night pull-up even though he peed a ton in it because I was afraid he will go back to only pooping in the pull-up.

Good luck!

tell him the only way he will get a pull up is to sit on the potty with the pull up on. or start him out just being in the bathroom, not in his bed. they say kids have b.m.'s around the same time every day so dont say anything till hes thinking hes going to get his night time pull up. mabe hes more relaxed and has it in his head he will be able to go soon and wont be able to hold it. just a thought good luck