It started a couple months ago when she had a bad experience at her first VBS. They were doing a Army theme. She really was scared when I picked her up. She would not tell me specifically what she was upset about, but that she did not want to go back. I said that was fine, but we continued to try to get her to be more specific about what was so scary. I talked to several workers at the VBS and they did not see her get scared at anything specific, although they said there was some loud/marching commands at one session. Since then it has been everything--going to dance school, sleeping in her bed, the dark, bugs, all loud noises, her regular classes at church, singing in the kids choir, walking up to get an award, the drain in the bathtub, going to the bathroom by her self, story time at the mall--she is scared of it all and the list goes on. Needless to say this has really interfered with her life. I think sometimes or a lot of time she might be using this to get attention, but that being said it is hard to tell when it is real and when it is manipulation. I don't want her to miss out on opportunities due to fear and I also don't want her to create patterns that could stay with her. I also don't want to be manipulated by the pretend fear. We have a 4 month old as well--I don't know if some of this might play into this behavior. Lastly it is getting so bad I am considering taking her to talk with a counselor, to make sure nothing traumatic has happened that I am unaware of. I don't know if this would be too extreme of a measure for something that might just be a stage. Any suggestions or thoughts would be helpful! Thanks!
Get your bible & set down with her & read her the scriptures about fear. If you look in the back it will tell you where they are but I'm sure you know that. Also look up strength & power. Let her know that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Pray with her for these things & have faith. There is truely power in the word. God bless you & your family.
I'm sending you a PM.
I would not get her involved in any kind of therapy to begin fixing thigs, however, I would find a play therapist, schedule a cosultation, go in meet them and decide if you like them then schedule one session for them to just explore with her whether she has been hurt, or if something has been done with her inappropriately. The play therapists are so good that your child won't even know they are in therap, they will just think they are playing with a new person. the way that they ask the child if the child has never been hurt or touched inappropriately, the child is still not going to even know what that means once they are done with the session. You will not be puting your child at risk by doing it, you aren't going to introduce her to anything new by one session. It would be a safe idea. Especially since this seemed to snowball starting at a specific point in time (VBS) where she was quite possibly alone with someone or could have seen something there that scared her. They always have high school kids and stuff working at VBS and she very well could have just walked in on something that seemed weird and scary. I doubt anything sever has happened, but it does sound like something that was scary to her happened. Sometimes what can scare a small child in reality is not all that horrible, but can seem petrifying to them. I am picturing her walking in on a parent in a room alone with their child misbehaving and spanking their kid or something and she thought it was a teacher hitting a kid or something and was afraid it was going to happen to her. There are som many scenarios like that, which are not in actuality all that horrible that she could have experienced seeing that could really frighten her, butnot actually cause her harm that if a play therapist can dig it out you can probably very esily talk to her about it and staighten it out without a bunch of counseling. Don't try to pose these questions to her yourself though. You coul end up causing more damage than good, you should take her to a professional. Good lukc, I am sure that it is nothing serious.
You should definitely take her to a professional to find out what is going on. I wish you all the best in getting to the bottom of this and hope she gets back to her usual self.
