4 Year Old Boy and His Dressing Habits

Hi S.,
I'm an OT who works in a local school district. I agree with the other Moms who say this sounds like a sensory processing thing. I've met and worked with a number of kids who don't like socks and shoes, and the feel drives them batty. One boy in particular did okay if his shoes and socks were a size too big. This meant they didn't always stay on just right, and he got a lot of sand in them (which made ME cringe, but not him, lol).

Something to consider is some sensory re-learning. Take him to the store and have him choose a pair of socks he thinks feel "okay" on his hands. Every day, have him rub or touch the socks on his own feet (you can even start off with the flip-flops still on his feet.)

Over time, he should be able to eventually pull them on and leave them, and even rub his feet while he's wearing them. Then he can work up to walking around in them. Do the same for shoes.

A small caution, try to avoid making a big deal out of it. Any child learns quickly how to manipulate what they want out of Mom and Dad, and sensory-integration quirks are not an excuse. If it's his "job" every day to put socks on and "get used to them," will help him to get over it faster than, "Johnny just doesn't like shoes and socks." (making excuses vs. teaching him how to cope with it himself)

He's got to deal with it eventually anyway (school uniforms, ski trips, college, career, etc), might as well learn how to cope properly while he's young, right?)

Hope this helps :)
T

My 3 year old did the same thing this fall. Up until last few weeks it really was not an issue. We went to the store and I let him pick out his own shoes,pants and jeans "just like daddy's" It did the trick for us! Good luck!

My Dr. said the normal comfortable range for babies is 70 degrees. I am cold at 70. I am always cold so I think my kids should be, but they are not. They are teenagers and are running around with tanks and shorts. They have been healthy. I don't think being cold gives you a cold it's germs. If they are shivering and catching a chill I think that is different. I agree with the other mom's it could be a sensory thing, or it could be that he really is being honest, his body temperature may be just right. When I feel my kids skin and it is a little cold, they say they don't feel cold inside though.

One year my son wore jeans in the summer and shorts in the winter (he was about 7 or 8 then).

I would check into the sensory thing, and if not I would not make a big deal of it. You don't want to make a power struggle over something small. We have lots of other things we can argue with our kids about. I did the struggle over clothes at times, and trust me it isn't worth it. If you are going out, maybe you could give him a long sleeve shirt or jacket to put on over whatever he is wearing. However, today was pretty warm here.

Take care,
K.

I would put all his shorts and sandals away - out of his sight so he only has winter clothes to choose from. You could also put him to bed in the clothes he'll wear the next day, so he doesn't start off with any issues in the morning.

I have a 4 yo son myself, so your post sounded familiar - and this is what we did to curb it!

Best,
C.

Have you tried (maybe on weekends) letting him put shoes and socks on for just a little while? Maybe just 5 minutes and then let him take them off, just adding time little by little so that by the time he goes to school he is more comfortable in them? You might need a sticker chart to show him he can get a toy at the dollar store if he can hange in there for 5 or 10 times just for a couple minutes? Remember to be VERY enthusiastic so he knows you know he's really trying hard to do this big boy thing....Good luck!

Hopefully this will help!
SherryR (too)

My son hates to put his shoes on by himself. So I sit with him and coach him through it. He throws a fit but there teachers cant always help them. He does like the croks that have the furry linning in them. He can just slip them on and not have to worry about the socks and shoes. However they keep his feet warm.

My 4 year old is the same way. Thankfully it's not that cold in Arizona! I let him wear shorts and usually flip flops unless it's something that he needs tennis shoes. You don't need to worry - he's not going to get sick from wearing shorts.

my 30 yr old son was the same way. he still is. i think he owned one pair of pants until he started hisnew job a few years ago. he is a cowboy at a huge ranch so i know he cant go chasing cows in shorts. but when its branding time he still wears shorts. he was alwasy a hot child. he hated being cuddles and sweated easily. i finally gave up making him wear clothes. he even wore shorts to school when it snowed and hated jackets. his lettermans jacket was probalby worn 2 times. and FYI you dont get sick from being cold. illness is the result of either bacteria or a virus.

I agree with the last mom that it might be a sensory issue. There's a lot of information out there now about children and sensory issues, so I'd read up. My niece has the same kind of sensitivities and since her parents stopped fighting them, she's becoming a much happier child. He'll be okay in shorts and flip flops, and you'll be better off too, when you can stop fighting with him about it. In the meantime, find out as much as you can to help him overcome these sensitivities in a positive and healthy way.

Good Luck,
A.

Hi S.
My daughter was the same way, we found out she had a sensory integration issue where she felt overstimulated by the sensation of the socks (especially the seam) and the pants on her body. Also we found elastic waist soft fabric pants were okay and boots with fur lining were okay too. She is 17 now and still only wears flip flops and ugg boots (only when necessary) so they don't really grow out of it, only learn to adapt to it. Good luck

I vote on picking your battles and if he's content with it, then I'd be okay with it. I think it's a myth that without a jacket you'll get sick, so let him wear what he wants.

Don't fight it. Be careful though. My son has Sensory Integration Dysfunction and is very sensitive to the feeling of certain clothing. You may want to look that up and see if he has any of the other similarities.

HE'S FOUR! You're the parent who makes decisions based on what is good for him. He can't make those decisions...why? BECAUSE HE'S FOUR! Put the clothes on him and end it there. If he needs to feel like he's in control, give him a choice of choosing which outfit to wear from what you choose for him. Put the summer clothes in a box and get rid of them! Take him to the store and let him choose some pants and shoes and maybe he'll be more willing to wear them. But regardless, YOU make the decision based on what is best for him. Wearing shorts and flip flops is not what is best for him in the winter! Step up and be the parent! Good luck.

You are the parent, and he is the child and sometimes we have to enforce safety and health.

I also agree that it may be a sensory issue. Our 3 (almost 4) yr old daughter has Sensory Integration Disorder and clothes have always been an issue for her. Even though she knows there are times when she must have her clothes on, if she could just be in underwear 24/7 she would. I'm not trying to diagnose your son with anything, but it doesn't hurt to get more info. www.spdfoundation.net has some great info. and may be helpful in letting you know if he might have some sensory issues.

Hi--This is no fun is it! My now 19 year old daughter and her 25 year old brother had these issues too. One thing that helped my daughter was to put the sox on inside out. For her the seam near the toe pressed on her foot otherwise and she screamed whenever we put on shoes. For my son, sweat pants were the answer. No harsh waistband and soft cloth. He was the one who would say when I came home with a bag from the store, "I hope you didn't buy anything for me." He absolutely hated new clothes and actually still does. He was thrilled when the styles went to baggy, low hung pants. I'm sure that this is a sensory issue, but people have learned to deal with it without freezing! Good luck!

it's possible he has sensory issues where he overprocesses touch, and it's uncomfortable for him to have stuff touch his skin. you can learn more about this by googling "sensory processing disorder". try letting him feel different fabrics against his skin and choosing his own pants, and choosing his own special socks (be sure they don't have seams and are extra soft if you think it's a sensory issue). don't worry about him getting sick, you get sick from viruses, not from getting cold. good luck!