4 Month Old Wont Sleep in Crib

All these ladies have great advice! One thing that I do for my girls is have a bedtime routine. It helps them know what will happen next. We happen to brush teeth, get in pajamas, read a book and then they turn out the lights themselves now (when they were babies I held them while I did it), and I say the same thing as I tuck them in and leave the room.

I say,"It's time to... turn out the lights and say good night, sleep tight, and remember... mommy loves you". I say it in the same tone, using the same pattern of speech every time. And then I close the door and rarely go back in, unless they're really distressed. If you wanted to do this, you could, of course, say anything you want, as long as it's the same every night.

Both my girls slept in our bed until 2 to 6 months. They always took naps alone. Lots of times for naps, I'd nurse them to sleep, side laying on a little blanket nest on the floor so that they wouldn't feel it when I got up. Maybe you could try getting her alone for naps (if she isn't already), that way you aren't desparate for sleep while trying to get her down.

Another thing I've noticed about young kids is that they can tell how you feel, just like a horse knows when you're nervous. If I ever put my girls down to bed with apprehension, hoping they would stay down, they were on to me and usually crying before the lights were out. I found it was best to be calm, confident and matter-of-fact when putting them to bed.

I hope your household is sleeping soundly soon!

Please let you child bond to you... it is okay for your child to sleep with you. Letting her cry for hours does not teach her anything, except she can not depend on you to comfort her and then feels abandoned.

There is a very good book written by the editor and owner of the Mothering Magazine called "Natural Family Living: The Mothering Magazine Guide to Parenting" by Peggy O'Mara with Jane McConnell. I wish I would have read it while my daugter was still an infant.

Good Luck and enjoy your new baby!

I breastfed my 2 daughters each for over one year, and they slept beside my husband and I until about age 3 (They are 9 and 3 now) when they transitioned to a bed. The transistion at that age was much easier, as you can talk to them about the move. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have them beside you, or with them wanting to sleep next to you where it is warm and safe--the natural choice. Separating young infants is a cultural choice. The key being that you have a choice, and if it feels right to stay close at night, then stay close. Check out the link below and read about Attachment Parenting, a wonderful philosophy that may help! Blessings, A.
http://www.attachmentparenting.org/about.shtml

I would let her fall asleep with you and carry her in sleeping and let her get used to that then work on letting her actually fall asleep in the crib.

Maybe let her get use to her crib, fold your laundry in the babies room and let her play in her crib.

C.,
I hate to break it to you, but my experience (with two) is that once they start sleeping in your bed it's very difficult to get them to sleep in their own. You could try pulling the crib next to your bed and keep the bar down so that it's like her sleeping in your bed but not. I'd wait until she has fallen asleep/limp arms & gently place her in the crib, slowly remove your arm from her. I have a 4 yr/old & a 2 1/2 yr old & it wasn't until about a year & a half ago that we were able to get the oldest out of the bed completely. Our 2 1/2 yr. old won't fall asleep on her own (nursed her til' 17 mo-only way she would fall asleep without crying hysterically!-I'm just not strong enough to let them "cry it out"). Anyway, the youngest will now sleep most of the night in her bed but falls asleep in my bed first then we move her to her bed. She'll usually wake up at some point & crawl back into our bed, but it's a start.

Perhaps since you are starting her relatively young the transition will be shorter but I have to say-it's not easy. My youngest was in her crib from birth to 4 mo. & then I gave in due to being so dang tired & let her sleep with me one night to nurse, well, that was all she wrote and she's been with me ever since!!!

I don't mean to be a downer, but wanted to let you know my experience. I know what you are going thru, it's hard & made more difficult because your tired and just want to get some sleep. If it's any conselation, It goes by really fast-I can't believe my 4 yr. old is sleeping on her own in her own room and absolutely NEVER wants to sleep in my bed-it seems like yesterday that we couldn't get her out of it!

Good luck!
A.

HI C., that is so funny because I just went through that this last week. I thought my child literally was the only child in the world that would not go in his crib. He would scream for hours! He is 7 months old and he had his full night sleep last night...on his own! He sleeps much better and so do I, better for everyone. Read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", by Marc WEissbluth M.D. It has solutions for all types of babies and Parents. VERY HELPFUL! My saving grace.

Oh I know this all to well. I had to have a c-section with my first son and there was some complications so I kept him in bed with me for almost 2 months until I had a full recovery. when it came time to put him in the crib it was all night crying. we tried everything until finally we ended up swaddling him in a thin blanket and putting a cd player in his room. everynight I would turn it on and hold him during one song and then when the next song came on I would lay him down and rub his head. after a few days I would put him right down and he was fine.

I had the same problems with both of my girls. My oldest slept in bed with me till she was 3 months and started rolling over and my youngest (who I had a harder time getting to sleep in a crib) slept with me will she was about 6 months. I bought a Snoedel Doll, which is a clothe baby-safe doll. I slept with the snoedel doll and got my scent on it and had my daughter sleep with it, and it helped a lot getting her to sleep in a crib. It did not happened over night but it did help. If they can "smell" your sense close to them it gives them that same sense of comfort that sleeping next to them gives them. If you do a search for them on the interent you can find them. They are a little pricey. You could probably make something similar at home. Good luck!! I know how hard it can be, so hang in there and remember they are only this little once, so don't be in a big rush or feel pressured to have them sleeping on their own.

my children had this problem, one from sleeping with us, the other, i don't know why... but one thing that helped a lot- though not always- was i would make sure that the blankets they were laid on were warm when i put them down, and i swaddled them until almost 6 mos (i had to make larger "receiving" blankets for them) but then they still had the warmth and security of being in my arms....

Hi C.
My daughter did the same thing, and we had to just stick to our guns. Start on a night when you don't have to be up early the next day. Put her down, let her cry for 3 minutes. Go in, pick her up, rock her a bit and love her, then put her back down. Leave the room and let her go for 5 minutes this time. Go in and pick her up, snuggle, and leave. Go for mayeb 10 minutes the next time. It's hard to do! Just keep stretching out the time you are away and reducing the amount of time you spend snuggling. It worked for us but it was painful the first few nights we forced it. good luck!

It is one of the hardest things a mom will do to let their child cry, but it is the only way to break the habit you have formed. Let her cry. Cover your head with a pillow if you have to. Cry yourself if you have to. Once you put her down whether you wait 20 minutes or 3 hours, if you go in while she's crying she will just cry longer and louder next time. We had this problem after a bout of colic with our son, and although I thought I would die, it only took one night.

Hang in there!

My son was like hat as well, so one thing I used to do was have a thin reciving blanket under him so when he fell asleep in my arms the heat that he felt (witch was one of the reasons) would go right to the crib with him as well as my smell, Note though make sure if she's still asleep spread the blanket out where it's not bunched up around her I used to tuck it under the matress so if he move it didn't move with him. then there is the let her cry thing and they are right, you don't have to let her cry 3hours straight what I did with my son was I started small I waited 3 minutes for the first couple days then slowly incressed it, but the time I was at ten minutes he was putting himself in bed. GOOD LUCK

I'm not much help, except to let you know you're not alone. My daughter is 6 1/2 mos and still sleeps with me. We're going to try again to move her out soon, but I know its going to be tough. I'm not a fan of letting kids "cry it out", especially so young, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Have you read "No cry sleep solution"? Its supposed to be pretty good. Or Dr. Sear's "Baby Sleep Book". Maybe those will help. Good luck!
J.