4 Month Old Refusing Me!

It's sad, but my youngest weaned himself at about 6 months after being given the option of a bottle. He was very bright and aware and was bored of being squished up against me.

C.,
My baby refused me at 4 months also. I found some info online about it. It's always at around 4 months and it is unexplained. But it happens to a lot of breast fed babies. I gave him pumped breast milk until I ran out and couldn't express very much and had to give him a few bottles of formula. It lasted for 4 days and then he started nursing again. I was very stressed b/c I did not want to give up nursing. Babies pick up your energy too. I had to go into the nursery with dim lights, very relaxed, washed my breasts off with just warm water to make sure there wasn't any lotion or perfume that was offending him, put some music on and gently coaxed him to nurse. As he nursed I took deep breaths. Try changing your normal position too. Lay your baby on the bed and hover over him offering him your breast that way, or side lying. Try different positions. This is what a lactation consultant told me to do. Nursing usually helps teething problems. It is comforting, so I don't think that is the problem. You may want to bring him to a chiropractor to check his neck alignment. That could be causing him to favor one breast over the other b/c it may hurt his neck on one side. But sometimes babies prefer one side. Babies are all unique. Just relax and offer your breast often. You can also hire a lactation consultant. They are wonderful resources!
D.

I bet he's just mad because he has to work harder to get the milk from your breasts than he does to get it out of the bottle. A lot of babies go through this. Go get the book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League. It has answers to every breastfeeding question, including "early weaning." Or another good one is The Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins, RN, MS.

I went through this with my son who's almost two. These little guys get confused by having to switch back and forth from bottle to breast. Give him a couple of weeks and don't blame yourself. :)

If he is teething, it may hurt more to lay down and nurse on the left side right now. That is the case with my daughter who is getting her molars in right now. She doesn't like to lay on her right cheek to nurse from my left breast because her teeth are comming in on that side.

I've done two things to help her feel better. A tiny bit of Oragel just before she nurses is one. The other is a different nursing position for each breast. For my right breast, she is in the "cradle" position laying in a pillow across my lap. For my left breast (rather than turning her over so she lays on her sore right side) I just move her entire body to the left so that she is in a "football hold" position. She is basically laying under my left elbow/arm.

He could be cutting some teeth. Both my boys started to refuse while teething

I don't know about the side preference, but the bottle preference may be because your letdown is too slow for him to get fast satisfaction... in which case you could try expressing some milk before you get him to attach.

Dear C.,
My daughter was done nursing at 4 months as well. I had intended to nurse for a year, so I wasn't emotionally ready for her to be done. She was small and I worried she wasn't getting enough so I tried a bottle and after that, there was no turning back. I tried pumping which was torture so I gave her some formula and that was the end of that.
All babies are different. My son would have nursed until he was 2 if I had let him.
I don't know why, but some babies seem to prefer the bottle. That doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. Or them, for that matter. I know what you mean about not being ready for it. I really do.

have his ears checked! It has nothing to do with you personally. Be calm and think possitive! He loves you:)

Hi, I think going back to work is tough on a nursing mom, and really tough on the baby! Whe I went back at 3 months, I had barely introduced a bottle and when I did, it was obvious the faster flow shortened the feeding, started faster than a real let-down, etc. I kow moms are worried that a baby will "forget" how to use a bottle if you don't give it to the baby everyday, but I found this caused more resistance to nursing at my breast. So, I refused to offer a bottle at all on the days that I was not working, and had a ton for skin to skin for a couple days to remind my boy how nice it was next to mommy's skin, how nursing was part of that comforting feeling.

Now, he's 7 1/2 months, nursing great, taking a bottle when I need him too (although these are less frequent now with the solids). Teething is a little challenging right now, but he looks to me for nursing and comfort when pain strikes (orajel pre-nursing helps, too!)

Good luck...don't giveup on nursing until YOU ARE READY! It may be challenging right now, but my experience has been it will get easier!

The first thing that came to my mind is this, he probably prefers teh bottle now because it's not as much work, he gets more faster. My son is 6 1/2 mths old and he takes a bottle thru the day, and nurses only at night..your son may not be getting "full" off of nursing alone anymore, considering there may be "more" in a bottle.

Not that it helps, but maybe that is what is going on.

K.

My son was almost 6 months old when he went a nursing strike. I'm a stay-at-home mom, so it was even more confusing as to why. He absolutely REFUSED to nurse and would only take expressed milk in a bottle. Fortunately, this lasted about a week, we both lived through it, and he still nurses at night at 22 months old. I encourage you, as did many others, to keep trying and not give up yet.

A lot of times, anxiety is a huge factor in nursing. I was anxious because he didn't want to nurse, which delayed my let-down, which made my son even more frustrated, and it was just a vicious cycle that ended in him not nursing at all. I know it's frustrating, and you're wondering what you're doing wrong, but it may not be anything that you've done.

One last thing... Usually a baby nurses when he/she's teething because for some reason, it feels good. I'm sure some babies don't want to nurse while teething, but I would contact Le Leche League or even find a lactation consultant in your area. My LC was a LIFE-SAVER!!!! And well worth the money....

hi there,
just thought id send some thoughts your way...
he just may be confused...why mom-boob or bottle...and now someone new is feeding him bottles. Its a transition period and hopefully all works out ok. You may not be producing enough on that side...but in middle of night hes so tired he could be comfort nursing. Can you tell how much he is really getting, can you pump and still get a good amount? You will have to really determine is he getting what he needs and fast enough? He may really like the other side, bc its fast and fuller. Also are you eating anything strong, powerful like onions? sometimes that has a big impact- u probably already know that. I dont think the nursing has anything to do with it, however check to see if he has any red or swolen gums on tht side of his mouth...there could be soreness (good thoughts you have on that- you never know)...

id really focus on how much you are or not producing on that side...be sure to pump regularly and start on that left side first...keep the milk coming. My son just had his favorite sides and one was a little slower so he favored one side...
its wierd he wont drink at all...but start with the right side first...he just may be super hungry and if its not coming out fast enough they get mad. Also try massaging that side a lot. And warm towels too...helps get milk going before you put baby on.
hang in there...hope it gets better...keep me posted!

what high school do you teach at?
I was going to go get my teaching credentials so i could be home with my 2 boys a lot and enjoy summers off, but decided to be an independent consultant for ARBONNE instead so i could work when i want to work around the kids of course. You may want to check out the baby products i highly recommend...all pure safe and beneficial...i fell in love with the ABC baby line and recommend to anyone who has kids and babies, check out Arbonne.com - ABC baby line. If you have any questions just let me know. =))

I wonder if your supply has reduced a bit since you returned back to work and pumped. I think this happened to me. I took capsules (More Milk Plus) that worked wonders, and pumped a bit extra to signal to my body to produce more. And maybe the nipples you got release milk very quickly, adding to it?

Also, one side consistently produced less, and we all adjusted to it. He favored the one side, but it all worked out.

I've heard it said that if a baby self weans before a year, then something is "wrong," so I encourage you to keep on considering different solutions! Good luck!

C.,

There are so many reasons why babies suddenly don't want to nurse. I would highly recommend you see a board certified lactation specialist. Call your baby's pediatrician and ask for a referral. It is usually covered by insurance and some pediatric offices have them on site. Also, hospitals have them. La leche league may be helpful and some of the leaders will come to your home to help you.

Best Wishes,

E.

My son went on a nursing strike (but it was both sides) at about the same age. I was getting so frustrated since he would drink what I pumped, but wouldn't take the breast. After much frustration I figured out that I had used my husband's shaving cream to shave under my arms and it effected my smell. Once I washed all residue from the shaving cream off he went right back to nursing. He always had a side preference, both of my kids did, but I just alternated which I started with at each feeding and offerred both sides each time. Could you have used a different soap or shampoo that didn't get rinsed off completely? I this continues, I would suggest contacting a lactation consultant to see if they can help you figure things out. They are very good at identifying any problems and helping you to resolve them. Good luck.

Poor you and baby!!! All of the pain nerves for our teeth, jaw, throat, and ears are in very close quarters. He may be in a lot of pain, and having "refered pain". Refered pain is when, for instance, your tooth is hurting, but you feel the pain in your ears. This could be the cause of not wanting to nurse on the left side, maybe that ear hurts. My girlfriend works at a pediatric dental office. She suggested to use a finger brush with baby orajel or hylands gel, after brushing baby's gums/teeth. I took her advise when we got to cutting molars. It was VERY helpful! If it isnt pain, he could be having nipple confusion. What type of bottles are you using? There are nipples made of lamb skin that are supposed to feel very much like mommy. My daughter wouldnt take a bottle to saver her life, until we tried the slow flow natural latch nipples with the playtex drop in bottle at 11 1/2mo. She never took breast milk from a bottle. It was as if she was saying, "thats not where it comes from MOM!!!" We went from exclusively breast fed, to whole milk. She was totally a booby baby. she didnt even want solids. I pushed them on her out of sheer consitancy. I hope you get some advise that helps, even if it is not my experience that helps you. Its so fruserating when they cant say whats wrong!!!

P.S. You probably should not give him a bottle yourself if you want to continue to breastfeed. If he always gets it from the breast from you, and bottle from others, he will be able to make a distinction. Babies are smarter than we give credit. :-)

I have heard that sometimes when babies start getting a bottle, they get used to the fact that it is faster and easier to get milk. Thus leading to frustration when nursing, since it is more work. You could try maybe pumping a little right before you feed him to get the milk to let down faster. I hope everything works out.

Hello! Well, don't take it personally....it is just that he may be frustrated. First of all, one "side" is not the same as the other. Our bodies aren't exactly symetrical...even in milk production. So sounds like not as much comes out the left side, that's all. Secondly, liquid flows much easier from a bottle than either side of you..and me...and most everyone that I know. So he has discovered the ease of nursing from a bottle. What you do about it is up to you, but likely any route you take besides just switching him to the bottle (with the work schedule sounds logical :) ) will just continue in his frustration...and in turn, yours. Personally, when my son became frustrated at one of my sides being more productive than the other, I just let him nurse on the favorite side exclusively. It worked. But eventually because of their needs, we do have to let our kids grow up into their next stage. Don't worry. The breast feeding time, though sweet, is not the best part of parenting. With some practice on our parts as moms and dads, the best part for us has been watching them grow to that next height...enjoy it all!

I have a nine month old baby boy, and he will only nurse from my right breast.. I dont no why either..If you find anything out lemme know..But it's comforting to know someone else out there knows how i feel.