3Year Old Not Listening

Updated on April 14, 2008
M.R. asks from La Porte City, IA
5 answers

It is a daily battle for everything of always whining because he wants something, or he is told over and over not to do something and crys so loud that everyone plugs there ears so they don't have to hear it. You try to ingnore the behavoris but they sometimes are harmful to himself and others. Putting him in time-out, nose in the corners and being by himself has not worked. Once he is out of his punishment I ask him what he did was wrong or if he understands and I get nothing. This has been happening for months and it is wearing on me and I am feeling like a failure as he is winning

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

when my daughter whines,crys,begs or is being obnoxious to her room she goes. She knows we don't behave like that and I refuse to listen to it. I am blunt with her I'll tell her "stop your crying NOW" unless she's hurt or something then it's ok to cry. I don't ignore this behavior. I did ignore her tantrums when she was about 2 but this is not a tantrum.

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N.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Oh phooey on the "time-out" business. That didn't work so great with mine. I got more results from taking a prized toy and putting "it" in time out until people shaped up.

If someone challenged, sassed and fussed to the point where serious action was needed, Winnie would find a new perch on the top of a tall bookshelf, or Thomas the tank and the Island of Sodor (anything on the playtable) would get put in a box in the closet for an afternoon.

I'd let them know how long stuff would be removed, and tell them things had better improve by xxx pm today, or Winnie or Thomas wouldn't be coming back til tommorrow (or whatever). Sometimes they'd have an all out tantrum. Usually if they think you'll give in. I'd just calmly tell them the more they have a fit, the longer the item stays in "time-out". I further say, if they can start behaving, and apologize or remedy whatever they did to get the punishment, I'd consider shortening the time and would give them the item sooner.

I'm telling you, this works. It's rough the first few times, but after a few "time-outs" they start to get the idea you mean business, and the outbursts do diminish greatly.

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T.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Sounds like it's just a typical 3 year old...my son is just about there and it's started already in our house. I've heard from several experienced parents that It should be called "terrible 3s", not the "terrible 2's".

I just keep telling him to stop whining and when he whines when he wants something, I tell him to not whine and ask in his big boy voice.

As for the tantrums, we pick our battles with him. We don't really give in and let him run things, but depending on where we are and knowing his triggers, we'll pick our battles. Especially if we know something is coming up where he WILL be throwing a fit, we'll sometimes let something smaller happeing ahead of that go that normally wouldn't.

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R.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi M...

My husband and I are going through that with our 3 year old as well. I am still trying to figure out what I can do to help get rid of this behaviour and so far I am at a loss as well. I just wanted to let you know that if you want to talk or anything I am here. I know what you are going through.

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K.B.

answers from Grand Forks on

My son is only 2 and half but his behavior was getting out of control. We started using the program 1 2 3 magic. It has worked great. You can get the book in the library they also have it on video or DVD.

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