35 And Trying for My First, Getting Worried

I'm 42 and I have a 6yo and a 4yo - so yes, :) it is totally possible!! :)
I will admit that raising them now that I have limited patience is a bit trying at times and wish I had kids earlier in life like most of the women I know but they are great. Yes, I had a hard time getting down on their level when they were crawling around and I still have a hard time keeping up with 2 energetic whippersnappers but they don't seem to mind - they just keep running in circles around me!! I am tired most of the time, but I wouldn't trade having them for anything.

I had my first when I was 30. My second I was 33 and my third I was 38, almost 39.
Being in good health etc is more imortant then the date on the calendar.

Hi, I had my first child when I was 38 and I am now working on my second at the age of almost 43. The importance when you are your age is to not let the docs sway you by all their gloom and doom talk. When we first went in to the the gyn after a year of trying (I was around 37 at the time) she pretty much told me that I was too old to have kids and I shouldn't have waited so long. So I forced the issue, asked for a hystrosalpingogram (HSG) (they inject dye into your uterus and falopian tubes) and a semen analysis. For unknown reasons HSG's often assist in getting pregnant. It worked for us and I have a beautiful daughter. My point is you cannot delay in getting worked up for why you haven't gotten pregnant yet. Don't wait an entire year of trying..only 6 months. If your current Gyn won't be agressive then fine someone who will be. I would recommend that you also don't wait for the second one as now...at age 43 we are having more serious issues in getting pregnant again. You can also ask for an antral follicle count which is an ultrasound look at your ovaries and they can tell you what your ovarian reserve is... basically an estimation of how many eggs you have left. Good luck to you!

I was 37 when I got pregnant and delivered my first child. Around age 35 my husband of 12 years and I thought-wow, wonder why we have never gotten pregnant as we hadn't been on birth control at all. Anyhow, at 35 we did consult with my GYN and after 6 months of "trying and assisted trying(aka some meds)" she referred us to a fertility clinic. Good thing we ended up going because it wasn't me, but my husband who was the culprit of our infertility. Anyhow, we ended up having IVF and got pregnant the first attempt.
I guess what I am trying to say is that if things don't seem to be working, don't hesitate to talk to your doctor and get help. There are lots of things you can do. Sometimes it is easy stuff...sometimes it is more complicated.
There is a book called Taking Charge of your fertility. I would highly reccommend that book.

I was 36 when I had my son and 38 when I had my daughter. My husband was 39 and 41. We tried for 6 months with no success, so we did some infertility testing. I was fine but they said he had "slow swimmers". I did a couple rounds of clomid, and we did two rounds of IUI. Intrauterine insemination. Not successful at all. We were getting really discouraged too. Finally, we just tried to take our minds off of it as best we could and also started focusing more on eating healthy and exercise. Within a few months we got pregnant all on our own. We were pregnant within 9 months of trying, so needless to say, we did not have fertility issues. It just takes time. I would suggest investing in a digital fertility monitor. That little window of opportunity to get pregnant each month is so small, it really is a wonder that any of us were born in my opinion. I used a clearplan easy model. You can find them at Walmart or any pharmacy/drug store. You can even get used ones on ebay. We started trying for our second child 6 months after my son was born and we were pregnant again two months later! The monitor pinpoints exactly when you are ovulating and the most optimum time of the month to conceive. It really takes all the guesswork and stress out of the baby-making process! Good luck and God Bless!
A.

It depends on how long "a while" has been. If it's been more than six months or a year, then I would suggest seeing a fertility specialist just to rule anything out on both your end and your husband/partner's end. There's nothing wrong with needing a little help if that's the way you need to go.

My brother's wife was told she could never get pregnant on her own and fertility treatments wouldn't work. I believe she's only had her period a handful of times since she was in her early twenties. They've been married 11 years and never used birth control. They found out after her 34th birthday that she's pregnant and they're due mid-August with my goddaughter. :-)

Typically though, once you hit your 30's your fertility does decrease but you still have some good childbearing years left. It just might not be as easy as it might have been as a mid-20-something. I do know that the pregnancy I had when I was 30/31 was quite a bit more difficult than my pregnancy when I was 26 and again at 28. Part of that could be because of the progressive nature of Fibromyalgia which I didn't know at the time I have, but it really did hit me harder in any case.

Don't worry before you have reason.

I had my first at 38 after a miscarriage and just had my second 3 months ago and I am 41. I did acupuncture and herbs and really feel that helped me to get pregnant. I also used the Clear Blue Easy fertility monitor my second time around. All of my friends, we all had our first babies at 37 and 38. It is a little harder to bounce back I think, but it isn't that bad, especially when you have a sweet little baby to take your mind off of it. :)

My first pregnancy was hard because I developed preclampsia and had a retained placenta. My second pregnancy was pretty easy, but I still ended up having a retained placenta and had to have a blood transfusion, but so far I am feeling pretty good. I imagine if I tried this again I would have a retained placenta, just the way I am made :) Both of my labors were natural as well.

I do feel that I am a better mom now then I would have been in my 20's.

My son and DIL were on the pill for while. When she tried to get pregnant she couldn't. She went to a fertility clinic and finally concieved. After she gave birth they didn't use birth control and had another. Then She concieved another so she has given birth three times.

Go to a fertility clinic or with your doctor. They have the education to help.

Good luck to you and yours.

I have a good friend who never tried to get pregnant. She has been married for many years now and they did eventually decide to give it a try--with no pressure--just an 'if it happens it happens' way of trying. Nothing happened. So my friend got into running and started getting a little more fit.. doing half marathons and tri-athlons, etc over the past few years. She is now 43. She thought she had finally hit menopause... b/c suddenly she stopped having her period. She is more than 4 months pregnant!

It can happen. I know that stress doesn't help, so try not to stress about it. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't discuss the probabilities and things that might be possible problems for you and hubby that can be overcome with a doctor's assistance... be informed! Just don't stress. Based on my friend, I'd say you have close to a decade left before you really need to be worried...

I had my third at age 33...honestly I can say as an older momma I have had more patience this time around. My recovery did seem to take a tad longer and I will say the third pregnancy was not a walk in the park, but I do not think being your age and it being your first is a negative. I have known several women who chose to wait to start a family until later and life and they are phenomenal moms.

The stats say chances go down at 36 pretty sharply. But I got pregnant at 35 and again at 36! With no help at all. Hang in there. I know stress can affect it. I would go get a once over by the gyno to make sure all systems are go and have hubby do the same.

I was also late to start--I was pregnant at 34 with my first (delivered 6 weeks after I turned 35) and my second was born the day after I turned 38. The second one was a fast conception--6 weeks after we started trying I was pregnant. Had I known it would be that fast I would have waited a few months! I had healthy full term pregnancies but both deliveries ended with unplanned c-sections (planned is better if you are going to have a c-section). Many of my friends have had babies in their mid to late thirties without problems (just more c-sections on average). One friend is 40 now and due with her first in 7 or 8 weeks. My sister and another friend had fertility issues and started in their early thirties. So go to the doctor if it takes more than 6 months. But keep in mind sometimes it takes that long even if nothing it wrong (it took me 9 months to get pregnant the first time, it took my mom 18 months and she was not quite 30). The book Taking Charge of Your Fertility has tons of great information and is very well known (you may find it at the library or used book store).

You may find the pregnancy and new baby/no sleep parts are more tiring that it would be for someone younger but it is doable (say YES and give the people offer to help a specific task to do).

I've been to over 600 births. Any woman under 39 wishing to be a first time mother can become pregnant and bear a healthy child. Bouncing back depends on the woman's current health. If she is well exercised and has eaten a good healthy diet she is going to recover quickly. If she eats junk food it is not a good sign for recovery.
I once looked in the refrigerator of a mother who bled terribly after delivery. She was only 17 and should have been at the peak of her health. Jello, whipped cream in a can, left over pizza, jellys and jams were in the refrigerator. She had no nutritional base of health.
So it isn't age it is the state of your health that counts. If you aren't exercising now get into a class and once you are pregnant take yoga for pregnancy. If you choose yoga now you will be in good condition. If your husband cooperates you could be taking dance classes together from now until delivery.
I wish you well.

I got pregnant with my first at 34. I too had been on the pill since my teens, and had no idea how difficult it would be to conceive.

I decided to be proactive and bought Toni Weschler's "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". It's an amazing book, and really teaches you to know your reproductive cycle. Assuming there are no physical impediments to pregnancy, you can't NOT get pregnant if you're using the techniques in the book. I loaned the book to 3 friends who had been trying to conceive for over a year, and all 3 were pregnant within a few months.

Anyway, I got pregnant our second month trying, and had a big, healthy boy 6 weeks before I turned 35.

Good luck!

Everyone is different. I started trying at 39-1/2 and was pregnant two weeks after I finished my last pack of pills. Completely uneventful pregnancy and delivery. My sister tried for almost two years (at age 32) before becoming pregnant. Her second was born 11 months after the first.

If you've been trying longer than 6 months, go to a fertility specialist. Good luck!

I had my last at 36 and I think being pregnant may have been a little more difficult then the other times but everything else was pretty much the same. I was back to work when he was 6 weeks. I know that I am a better mother now then I was in my twenties.

Had my first when I was 35. Was on the pill FOREVER! But conceived the first or second month. Had my 2nd (and last) when I was 38. Again, no problems. Never had any negative comments about my age from the docs. Maybe because I WAS in amazing shape (key word here, was). Good luck.

Maybe try getting an ovulation kit from the store and doing that for a few months. If it's still not happening, go see your gyne in case there is something else going on. You don't want to wait too long especially if you're planning on trying for another one after the first one. Best of luck!

I was 35 when I got pregnant. You will be fine, just take all your vitamins, rest and go to all your appointments. The scary age is around 40.

Good luck with your pregnancy Armygirlfriend.

I have a wonderful adopted son. It worked out exactly the way God thought it should be. No one knows he isn't mine and my husband's they tell us how much he looks like us. So unless we them people they have no idea. Anyone can have a child it takes someone special to take a child not of their blood and give them not only a great life, but a history and a loving family. I pray you get pregnant if that's your only way of wanting a child, but there are otehr ways.

I was 38 when I had my son and 42 when I had my daughter. It took 4 months to conceive the first and after him I had a miscarriage in TTC the second (first time try) but waited 2 cycles and conceived again with a first time try. I believe it important to not become too immersed in what statistics tell you. You are a unique case. I am active and healthy but not a nut (I used to smoke) and I had two easy pregnancies and fast, safe, non-medicated deliveries. Both my kids are healthy and normal. I too wonder about the energy level as an older mom so I make sure I have some time to myself each week to regroup!!

I was 37 when I conceived and gave birth (well, via c-section that is) anyway. baby was and is just fine.. Additionally, having waited longer than many, I tend to think I have more patience than some women friends of mine who are younger and tend to flip out at what I consider the smallest of things. I tend to choose my battles more wisely and I think that comes with age.. nothing against, younger moms, they are great. I speak strictly from my own personal experience and interaction with my younger mom friends. That said, keep trying and too, why not if you haven't already read, take charge of your fertility.. that book had a lot of GREAT tips even if a person isn't trying to get pregnant.. Also, I am older than many of my son's classmate's moms and they don't hold a candle to me energy and exercise wise.. I know most who won't walk 5 blocks and instead will wait for a bus for 20 minutes.. point is, 35 is YOUNG.. keep positive and keep trying.. also, eat well, lots of sleep and exercise.. it's what you do now prenatal that counts when it's time to recover.. Like anything, if you go into it stronger, you can come out stronger .. in the meanwhile, check out that book. it's very interesting and helpful

best of luck

I had my 3 at 35, 37, and 39. I thought I was over the hill, because my husband and I weren't even careful for a couple of years before #1 but nothing happened, and then one day POP, and the next two were mysteries because I must have been uber fertile after one.
Anyway, my gyno said:

On the 11th day after your period STARTS, have sex. Abstain for a few days before hand, because you want a nice big load (sorry). Then have sex EVERY OTHER DAY for the next 7 days.

This will span the entire ovulation. Don't worry about your fertility until this has failed for a year.

We weren't trying on purpose for #1, but it did happen to be in this schedule when I conceived. We were reunited after a long separation and had sex the 11th day after my period started and boom. Pregnant. Or it could have been one of the following days :) But it was that month.

My kids are all healthy, the pregnancies were all fine, and most of my friends started trying for #1 around 40. My close friend just had her youngest at 42.

Being an older mom rocks, because you've seen a lot of kids grow up, and you don't get sucked into the contemporary child raising myths.