3 Yr Old Hitting newborn-ADVICE Needed PLEASE!!

You pretty much can just never leave them alone together until this passes. I would bring my toddler into the shower with me just so I could take a shower, or if the baby was napping in her crib I would close the safety gate on her door so my son couldn't get to her while I was in the shower. I also gave my son so much positive attention at this time. Praising him when he was gentle or helpful or playing independently. Sometimes I would try to get him involved in an activity before I started dinner or whatever it was I needed to get done. When possible, I would have him help or make him busy "washing plastic dishes" at the sink to keep him busy. This activity is really messy, we had him strip down and put lots of towels on the floor but occupies lots of time. Whenever possible we tried for him to have extra one on one time with daddy too. When there was an issue, I disciplined him, but without a lot of emotion or attention, just put him in time out, explained why and made him apologize when he got out. I tried really hard not to scream or yell. For us, it took about 3 months for him to be consistently gentle, but I didn't trust him alone with her until she was walking and I felt like she could hold her own. Good luck.

This sounds to me like a combination of needing to be assured she is not being replaced by the baby, and her just loving the baby but not knowing quite how to do it. I agree that you simply (and now isn't that a loaded word? LOL!) have to be watching them all the time. Some of the other things around the house that you need or want to do may have to be put off until your older daughter is asleep, in order for you to feel safe about the baby. Do include the older one in the care of the baby as much as you can, teaching her appropriate ways of touching while you are doing it. It sounds like you're already doing much of this, so I think it's just a matter of keeping at it. You might also want to talk with her preschool teacher about this problem. If anything is happening there that might be contributing to the problem the teacher might be able to help curb that. They also may be able to incorporate something in their teaching, using the dolls to demonstrate how to be gentle with babies, etc.

I had three boys under three years old, it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job with the reassurance and praise. Now damage control....I used to put the baby chair in the play pen, not only safe from fists but from toddler traffic.

I carried him around a lot, and tried to teach my other sons 3 1/2 and 18 months how to protect the baby and keep him safe. It didn't go over well with the 18 month old but my older boy did pick up on it.

It just takes time, they grow out of it. Good luck.

Hi,
I think this might be a case of jealosy. Here is something you might want to try. I told my older daughter that the baby was HERS...specifically HER sister. (That way she thinks she needs to take care of the baby). I tell her that babies are very fragile and that mommy's job is to take care of the baby so the baby grows big and strong (this is a job the big sister cannot perform on her own). I also recommend two books that might help:
1) How to be a baby, by me, the big sister by Sally Lloyd-Jones and Sue Heap...this is a great book to teach older kids that being a baby is not much fun at all.
2) You're All My Favorites by Sam Mcbratney and Anita Jeram...this book just reinforces that you love them equally.
I bought the books at Amazon, you might be able to find them there.
Best of luck!

I know how gut wrenching frustrating it is but just stay diligent & keep her busy like you have been doing. I am just out of the woods of the same situation, my daughter was born on 6/13 and big 3 yr old brother who has always a gentle boy, became not so gentle!! and rowdy, I had a meltdown or two over it. He has finally calmed down a good bit & I regained my sanity, hang tough girlfriend!! I know you're just on maternity leave, but you might think of joining a playgroup on meetup, I know it helped Ty, getting out to play with kids along with preschool. I took my daughter out a lot earlier than when I had my son, but it was for survival!!
K.