My 3 almost 4 yo likes to join us in bed in the morning. My husband encouraged this when it started and I warned him he would get tired of it but he did not listen. The problem is not just that my sone gets up in the morning and comes to cuddle, he also comes into our room some nights as early as midnight. My thought would be for use to close our door, but we have cats that would keep us all up and shred the carpeting trying to get in.
I don't know what to and am tired, literally, from getting up during the night to put him back to bed. When I ask him why he comes to our bed he says he wanted to cuddle.
Any suggestions?
Thank you for the advice! We have purchased a clock that turns green when it is okay to get up. We are just waiting for it to get here. We couldn't find anyone who carried it in stores. We tell him every night that when he can see sunlight through his curtains he can get up and that has helped. I am really hoping the clock helps and maybe he will start to understand what the numbers mean too!
Well, I don't understand what the problem is. A lot of kids want to come cuddle. He will eventually not want to do it anymore and you'll miss the cuddle time.
My daughter is a big cuddler as well, and an early riser. By the time she was 3 she knew her numbers and she had a digital clock/CD player next to her bed. I told her that she could not come into our room before the first number was a 6, and explained that that meant it was 6 o'clock (wake up time in our house).
I had to be firm with her on this but it didn't take long for her to understand and start following the rule. Once 6 roles around she is allowed to come in and cuddle. We also cuddle at bed time (she has a full-sized bed) when she is going to sleep. If she wakes up any other time of the night she calls and I will go in and check on her, but she does not get out of bed.
I really enjoy cuddle time, but it is amazing how much room a 3 year old can take up in a bed : ) so I understand you not wanting to do it all night.
Good Luck,
D.
My kids love to cuddle. When my 9yo was younger and couldn't tell time we told him if it was dark out his window then it was too soon to come in. He had to wait until he could see light outside. This worked pretty well for him. I think I like morning cuddle time as much as they do.
This time I actually read all the answers before posting. :-)
I was (like you) literally so tired of dealing with this that I gave in and let my 3 yr old son make a bed in the floor by my bed. If he wasn't a ninja fighter in his sleep it might not have been so bad, but most nights if I gave in and and let him sleep with me, it meant I was relocating to the couch!
He does have a reward system for staying in his bed, but some nights he just CAN'T sleep by himself. Those nights, he can come in my room and snuggle down in his "nest". It beats putting him back to bed numerous times and being so exhausted in the morning. He knows it doesn't count toward his reward but it gives him the security he needs at that exact moment in time without disrupting my, his sister's and his sleep too much.
Just another option maybe. I will say that when I first started letting him do this, it was almost every night. Now that I have allowed it for a few months, he is down to maybe once a week.
GL and hopefully everyone starts sleeping better very soon!
I did the same with my dd who is now 6. She has always come in our room in the morning while we were getting ready for work. But you have to becareful to set the rules: when she was little, the sun had to be up; now that she can tell time, it has to be a least 7:00. But YOU have to stick to the rules. I know its easy to just let him stay bc you are so tired, or when you walk him back to his room it is easy to crawl in bed with him. But that will make it a problem. If he comes in your room just tell him "its too early" or "you can come in in the morningtime" or "do you have to go potty" and do not speak any other words. Just walk him back to his bed, tuck him in, and leave. Good Luck!
Since my 8 1/2 year old daughter still does this I have no advice. I do know it will not last forever though and I actually think it is so sweet. Perhaps get a king size bed if you don't already have one:0)
my suggestion is to stop walking him to his bed and either allow him to co-sleep with you (your son is telling you he NEEDS your safety and comfort and you aren't listening) or make a bed on the floor for him.
He's almost 4, so he able to understand. He's obviously needing more cuddle time. Maybe cuddle with him before bed and then explain that everyone sleeps better when they stay in their own bed. Reward him with big boy activities if he's able to do this.
Our son was 3 when we told hom that he needed to stay in his own bed. He asked, "Why?" We explained that a new baby was coming and this baby needs time with mommy and daddy, just like he had. This is only fair. He was ALL about fairness at the time. He never got out of bed again, until the am once in awhile.
The key is being consistant. We have co-slept with all 4 of our kids and never have had a problem getting them and keeping them out of our bed. We just tell them what they need to do and if I am still in bed with the new baby, the kids are welcome to come in and connect with all of us, but it's after we are all awake. Our oldest is almost 9....but like I said, they ALL spend the nights in their own beds.
but what if momma and daddy are morning sex people? cuddling a kid comes in second to that for me. i am one mom who likes a bed for adults only. my oldest was sleeping solo by 2 and the youngest by 1. hubby and i are the only ones who sleep in our bed. independence is a good thing. break him of the habit, cuddle him at night, then invest in a good door lock. i love my kids but i love sleep and a good marriage more.
When mind did that I always cuddle with them then send them back to their beds saying that it was too early for them to stay up in mommy and daddy's bed and go back to sleep in their own bed.
I think that incentives work very well with children. Perhaps let your son know that you love your morning cuddles but he cannot come in until it says 8:00 on his clock. Get a giant sized digital clock and pop it in his room. Write on a piece of paper 8:00 and put it next to the clock. For every day he remembers not to come in until 8:00 he gets a gold star on a star chart. For every 7 stars he gets an ice cream or an extra special story of his choice read by you or your husband. Whatever his cup of tea is. It is important to avoid situations that may cause resentments for you and your husband with the children and it is very important to lay down your boundaries as early as possible. Caveat: They are not young for long and the time when they don't want much to do with us parents is not that long down the line and morning cuddles will all too soon be a thing of the past. :)
Does he know his numbers? You could give him a digital clock with a note 7:00 below it. When it is 7, he can come in.
Use a sticker chart. He geets a sticker/reward for staying in bed until daylight.
Get one of those toddler clocks that turn green (or whatever color) that lets him know he can get up and come in for a cuddle. He can't come in until the clock has changed green. We have to do that with our son or else he'll get up WAY too early. The clock helps tremendously.
Hmmm...sounds like this should be dad's issue to fix. He is the one who encouraged it, against your warning, so why is he not the one to get up and take him back to bed? I would tell my husband, "this is all yours honey."
