Hi all!
Our 4y/o goes to bed at 8:30 and falls asleep about 9:30. Recently, he has been getting up at around 3am! He gets in our bed and tries to wake us by singing a song or putting on the TV. He has to be ready for the school bus by 7:30am--he is actually chipper in the morning, but it's killing our sleep. He doesn't nap when he gets home at 2:30. Hubby thinks we may be putting him to bed too early; we should let him stay up until 9:30pm. I'm not sure that I agree . . .
OK, here's what happened . . . my mom came over and took Louis out to the park. He came home, and enjoyed time with his toys and me (Dad had to work). We had dinner, he took a shower and then I waited until 9:30--we went to bed, he fell asleep at about 10pm. I'm even sure when he got in the bed, but I heard him say "hi mommy!" Hubby turned and told him and said "Do not wake me or mommy and up; you can read your book or play w/ your clock--but NO TV. He complied, and they next thing you know the alarm goes off, it's 7am and he sings the "good morning to you" song. So, we'll leave things as they are. Thanks Mamas for the great advice!
Glad you have a plan! I agree with the philosophies of more exercise, bed earlier NOT later, and I like the ideas of playing with quiet things in his room, definitely NO TV until it is time to get up.
Good luck!
Get him a digital clock. Cover the minute numbers. Tell him he can come in when the clock says 7 or whatever time you choose. Put a hand written copy of the number above the clock and tell him when the clock says "this" you can come get mom. If the clock doesn't say "this", you need to stay in your bed. You can read. You can play with your toys, but you need to stay in your bed.
Hope it works.
LBC
I don't think that sleeping one hour earlier or later will do much change. He is obviously getting enough exercise at school.
Grown ups and kids wake up at many times at night, difference is that your son knows that he can go and wake you up and/or watch TV and of course he will be happy.
I will talk to him and explain him when is ok to wake you up (he is in pain, afraid, etc) but that mom and dad need to sleep. Also that TV is not allow until "...".
Tell him that if he can't sleep that he should stay at his bed and try to sleep more until he can see some light from the sun.
If/when he wakes you up next just bring him to his bad and remind him what you talk.
I know many moms on here would not like this, but have you asked if he wanted to get in bed and cuddle with you (or have you walked him back and laid down with him?) He could simply just want your company and while you are not going to get up and give in to him, why not see if extra nurturing would work out (and maybe he'd fall back asleep)?
My almost three year old wakes in the middle of the night and gets into bed with us. We're fine with it for now. Once our younger one (who has never liked cosleeping) starts to wonder into our room, we may have to put a stop to the extra people in our bed just due to the lack of space! If we had a bigger bed, I honestly would not mind if both got into bed with us in the middle of the night (not at the beginning). That way Daddy and I have 'our' time (even though that is only 3 nights a week due to his schedule) and I still get a few hours of shut eye without having anyone else in bed with me!
In the event I ever do not want them sleeping in our bed, I will tell them they can sleep in our room on the floor and have blankets and pillows for that purpose. I've had several friends tell me their parents did this and after a few times, they wandered back to their beds because it was more comfortable!
I do not think putting him to bed later is the solution.
I do like Robyn's suggestion - but I think that would be better suited for a child slightly older than yours.
at 4, he is old enough to understand that he should NOT come to your room until it is light out. I also have a notoriously bad sleeper. He just has never required a lot of sleep. He never slept all night until he was 3 1/2.
Our solution was this: We told him that until there is an adult up in the house he HAS to stay in his room with the exception of going to the bathroom or going to the kitchen to get a capri sun from the fridge, then straight back to his room. (Unless he is sick or has a bad dream) As much as I didn't like the idea, we put a TV in his room. He knows that he can't watch when going to sleep, but if he wakes in the night or early morning, he can turn it on. It was a life saver, and we made it out to be a reward for being a big boy. He'll be 9 next month, and there are still nights he is awake when my husband gets up at 4 to go to work. He just sometimes doesn't need the sleep, but he never EVER wakes me up.
I would see if he had to go to the bathroom and then walk him back to his bed and tuck him in. Tell him mommy and daddy are sleeping and that is is night and he needs to be asleep. Say goodnight. Walk out. Repeat if necessary. Remind him that it's the rule of the house.
My daughter tried to pull this on occasion and even when she is sick, I won't cave. In desperation, I will get in her bed but mine is off limits.
Good luck
I go with the 'sleep begets sleep' theory that if the putting to sleep later doesn't work, try 1/2 hour earlier! Our 4 y.o. always seems to sleep more when he goes to bed at 7-7:30 than after 8.
Similar to the digital clock idea, with our oldest we gave him an alarm clock and said he needed to stay in his bed until it rang. The novelty of the alarm clock worked, and eventually he didn't need it.
And...if it's all about cuddling, it sounds like you're getting to the solution: telling him what's OK and what's not OK, and maybe he'll be OK with this 'compromise.' good luck!
Take him back to his bed when he comes in. I would never let him turn
the tv on. Just keep putting him back in his own bed. Just like a baby,
you will have several long nights, but in the end it is worth it.
