My daughter woke at 1:30 AM last night and wanted her lights turned up so she could read. Told her no it is still night night time, and she SCREAMED. I probably should not have given in but did not want her to wake the whole house so I turned her lights up a little, I could hear her read her books for the next half hour (at least...I fell asleep).
I started reading her a book or two at bed time. When she was two I started to do this but had to stop because she would be up till midnight "reading".
She started out crying for her water, then her lights, then her fan on, etc. Am I caving in too much? Do I just let her scream? Am I over-stimulating her before bed? Any advice w/be great!
She is old enough to learn that she is to stay in bed either until the sun comes up or mommy wakes you up. I know it's hard on you and everyone to stand firm but it's the best thing for her character as well.
T.
Hi Carrie,
My 3 yr old daughter started doing this recently and I had to finally tell her that it was time to sleep, I loved her, but I would NOT be back in her room until 7am. I also took privileges away like her TV time and computer time until she could make it one night without waking the whole house. During the day we talked about how important it is that EVERYONE gets good sleep. I also bought the TinkerBell movie and told her she could watch it once she made it through the night without yelling and crying. It took a couple of nights letting her yell and cry before she realized I was serious. She would go through a whole list of things she needed like her music, to tell me something, to rub her back, a banana. I really made her face the consequences, even not going trick or treating because of the nightly drama. (Harsh Mommy, huh?) She hasn't cried in a week and every morning I praise her lavishly with plenty of hugs and kisses. I also let her know how good I feel because I get good sleep. I have a consistent bedtime routine which includes bath, 2 books, potty, a "once upon a time" in the dark with music, last potty trip, then bed. She is ASLEEP between 6:30-7pm every night and wakes between 6-7am. I am a firm believer in the early bedtime. I have seen the difference in children and encourage everyone I know to put their children to bed early each night. If you have questions, message me.
Sincerely,
L.
PS I recommend reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He explains biological sleep rhythms, age appropriate sleep needs and schedules, plus some tips on dealing with specific sleep issues.
Hi Carri~
Don't cave! Right now it's books and fans, but how quickly that will turn into all sorts of other things... and not just during the night. She needs to know that your decisions are final. If she thinks she can throw a big ugly fit to get what she wants, then she will... at all hours for all reasons. This is about the age that this type of thing comes up. She's found ways to get you into her room at night. We had the same thing... I want the door cracked, I want the door closed, I dropped an animal, where's my water, I need more ice, where's my dolphin, etc. You should make sure she has everything she needs at bedtime and then firmly tell her that it's time to sleep. I don't tolerate pitching big ugly fits at anytime of the day. So, what would you do if she throws a tantrum in the middle of the day? There should be consequences and those consequences should apply to the middle of the night. It may wake everyone for a few nights, but get a handle on it now before it gets worse.
And make sure you have the same bedtime routine every night. We do bath, PJ's, books, songs, bed. I make sure this time is calm. I use the side table lamp, soft voices, etc. Then it's off to bed. You may think this is a little harsh, but if the "getting me into her room" act kicked into gear I would just tell her that if she didn't go to sleep now and get good rest then she didn't get to do the fun things she wants during the day. Kids who don't get enough rest at night don't have the energy they need to do (x,y,z) the next day, so go to sleep or tomorrow you'll have to miss out. Sometimes they needed something more immediate... and again you may not like this advice, but it worked for us... I would tell her it's time for bed right now and if that didn't happen then I'd have to start taking things away. And screaming and yelling was an automatic trip to time-out which didn't start until the yelling stopped.
There's no reading in the middle of the night. It may feel like a nice way to self soothe, but at this age it's control. What if she wanted to watch a DVD or play with toys? Don't cave, night time is sleep time... the end.
Get a handle on it now... you'll be glad you did! Good luck!
A.
Perhaps your little girl misses you. If you are a working mom and also have another toddler who keeps you busy, maybe your daughter is seeking more "mommy time" and individual attention. She likes it when you read to her and so she perhaps identifies the reading with being close to you. The crying for water, lights, fan, etc are just excuses to stay connected with you. Do you and she have special times together for just the two of you on a regular basis? Your other child is very close in age, perhaps she had to "give you up" earlier than she was ready to. Just some thoughts.
i'm sorry but although it is good for your girl to love reading, i believe that she is making excuses to be up. I agree with the other comments about special mommy & baby time. It may be she just wants to be close to you. I read my girl 1 bedtime story and after that it's lights out.. no matter what!! I would stick to your guns or she'll have you running around all night. Also, I wonder: How long has this been going on? Is there a routine change in her home that's made her feel vulnerable and in need of extra comforting? I hope this helps.
Hi Carri :o)
This was a hard age for sleep routines. They are getting to the point that they don't need a nap (if not already), then their only sleep is at night, and it's usually not enough.
She might need to go to bed much earlier. It sounds like she might be waking because she's overly-tired. Wanting to read will keep her awake (although it puts me to sleep).
In the meantime, you are right not to give in, but it doesn't have to "done" angrily. A simple loving, sweet "honey, you know the rules, it's time to be sleeping..." you might have to offer to lay with her for a little bit to ensure she goes back to sleep.
Carri, it won't last forever. Sleep changes are the one thing that has been consistently changing since my kids were born. My kids have always gotten pretty good sleep, but schedules had to be adjusted often.
Good Luck!
~N. :o)
My daughter who is almost two plays this game with me too. She starts by saying she wants juice or water, then a hug, then a kiss, then she has to go to the potty, wants to kiss Daddy or her sister etc. Enough is enough after a while and I will tell her... "This is the last time and I mean it... after this you need to go to sleep". It usually works. Last night she woke up around 1 something and said she pee pee and sure enough her diaper had leaked. So I changed her but then she couldn't go back to sleep. After an hour I had to be firm, lay her down and say in a very stern voice "You need to go to sleep now! Mommy has to work in the morning and you need your sleep... no more crying!" She whinned for a little while but then fell asleep. It's hard but it works.
I know it's hard to let our little ones scream, but it's your best bet. Explain that she's been staying up too late, and that she and you both need more sleep. Then, let her know what the new routine will be (one book, one sip of water, one hug and kiss-- whatever you've decided is fair) and that, after that, that's it. If she screams, so be it. Do not give, or you'll just hear more screaming.
Good luck!
