3 Year Old TANTRUM

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I agree with Dawn totally. He is pushing you, hard, to see what happens. The only way out is to NOT react, otherwise he wins the contest to make mommy crazy! My granddaughter went so far as to kick, spit, attempt biting me, say awful things, try prying my fingers off her arm, and cry ---all while I was dragging her to the corner. Then she would fling herself on the floor instead of standing. I set the timer and told her I'd start it when she was ready. Then, I sat down in plain sight and started reading a magazine. After almost 30min. of this, she finally stood up, faced the corner, and sweetly said, "I'm ready." You have to win, otherwise, HE wins, and that makes for bigger tantrums to get you to cave. Be strong, and be quiet.

Sounds like he is testing you and testing his limits - you can keep sticking to your guns with the time outs, or start using other forms of discipline and consequences, such as taking away cherished toys and other items (putting them in "time out") or using a sticker chart to acknowledge and reward good behavior, with some kind of pay-off for X number of smiley faces, etc.

Hi C.,

I agree with the other moms.
That being said, I'm right here with you on the behaviors (yours and your son's). Some days I'm better at responding patiently and not reacting out of frustration. I was so frustrated the other day when he screamed in my face at bedtime that I walked out and slammed the door. I felt horrible instantly. He cried so hard that he ended up telling me he was going to throw up. I am really working hard to remain calm no matter what because I don't want to feed into this behavior and I don't want to be part of his chaos (as normal as it may be).
I have a few suggestions for you that are helping me. First, look around your area for parent helplines or coaches. We have the Elizabeth Blackwell Center here and they offer free parent support via telephone. They have suggested a series of books by Ames "Your 3 Year Old" (named for each age up to 14, I think). And Al-Anon literature has some great suggestions for detaching from craziness (such as that of toddler tantrums).
You might also try going out with your husband more often and leaving him with a babysitter. You guys need breaks from each other. You will be rejuvinated and able to remain calm after a relaxing time out with someone other than your tantruming toddler. Oh and if you have the finances, a nice massage works wonders. I wish I had the finances for 1 every week!

Blessings to you and wishing you patience.
Julia

There should ALSO be consequences for inappropriate talk and disrespect. Might want to pick up a copy of RAISING RESPECTFUL KIDS. Respect is TAUGHT and NOW is the time to start. Respect should NOT be an option.

My girlfriend has a boy 3 yrs old that had a tantrum in a store. He got taken to the ladies room and got spanked and again when he got home. He has never had another tantrum. I recommend trying that since the time out isn't working. Calling you names sounds like he needs his mouth washed out with soap.