3 Year Old Daughter Vomiting When She Gets Very Upset/cries

Kids throwing up during fits is very common. You're saying she's not doing it for attention-do you mean the crying or the throwing up? You need to assess the situations in which she gets upset and cries. Are they ever regular run of the mill tantrums? Or are they always a truly traumatic experience such as being shy and overwhelmed etc.

For instance, we disciplined tantrums at the first signs of the first ones, so now, no matter what upsets the kids-bullies, getting hurt, not getting their way, whatever, the first rule is that they must stop crying and no fits, so we can discuss the issue at hand. Therefore nothing ever escalates, and no vomiting would ensue.

The bully at her school is not a traumatic enough even to have this be a permanent "wound" so to speak. My daughter has kid in her class who pummels her and everyone else on a regular basis. She can learn not to throw fits, and then the vomiting won't happen. If you feel she has psychological medical issues making it impossible for her not to get so upset, then that needs addressing. But lots of kids will throw up if they cry too long. They take the fit to the max and let themselves get sick, whatever it takes for ultimate realization of the situation. We do not allow it to begin. Sometimes all the soothing etc makes the problem worse even if she isn't specifically doing it for that.

What do you do to try to calm her down? Have you tried mirroring her emotions? "It's scary when..., it's sad when..." etc. That will probably work better to ease her fears than trying to talk her out of them.

Toddlers do sometimes vomit when they're crying hard because their reflux system hasn't matured yet. They do outgrow it.

I wonder if you're asking if there is some way you can reduce the cause for crying? How do you soothe her? I suggest just briefly being sympathetic while acknowledging how she feels and then distract her to a different activity. The more we sympathize the more upset both the child and the parent gets. If you're worried about her she senses that and gets more upset. She doesn't understand why you're worried/anxious but feels that if mommy is anxious there must be something wrong.

Try handling her upsets in a calm, very matter of fact manner. Don't try to get her to talk about why she's upset. If you know why acknowledge it and treat it in an understanding way while reassuring her she will be OK.

Sometimes, with my granddaughter at that age, just sitting down next to her, not touching her, not talking to her, just quietly sitting with her until she regained control of her tears helped. One possible reason for the out of control tears is that she feels out of control. When you try to console her, you're adding another stimulus to a child who is already over stimulated. Your confident presence helps her feel grounded.

My daughter, when she was young, and now both of my grandchildren, have a special toy that they take with them to help them feel more confident. For my granddaughter who is now 10, it's any 2-4 of her Littlest Pet Shop toys that fit into her pocket. For my 7 yo grandson it's either a small stuffed donkey or a small stuffed bulldog.

She won't grow up with this type of behavior. She is acting this way as a way to cope. She may be unconsciously doing it in part for attention, also. We continue to do what works. If crying gets you to stay with her and she's feeling insecure then she will cry. Not so much for attention. It's a way to get her need met. If you can meet that need in another way then she will be more apt to stop the crying.

What happens on the days that she's not upset when you drop her off. Look back at the whole morning. Is it possible that getting out of the house happened more smoothly? Perhaps you weren't as rushed as you are on other days? Possibly you have breakfast together some days but not on others. Perhaps she wanted to wear something different than what you put out? Perhaps she didn't get enough sleep on those rough mornings. Perhaps some mornings the adults are thinking of something else or are tense because of having a tough job to do at work?

Unfortunately, for sensitive kids, changes in routine are difficult. Also they may be more sensitive to other people's moods.

After reading Amy J.'s post, I wondered if she is having a tantrum, perhaps because she doesn't want to stay or there is too much going on in the room and she's immediately overloaded. Is what you're describing different than her temper tantrums? If she's angry when she starts to cry then this may be tantrums. If they're tantrums the sitting quietly, etc. as I suggested above will also work for those. If they're tantrums it's especially important to not try to interact with her until she's calmed herself down. Any form of interaction intensifies a tantruming child's feelings.

It is possible that your daughter did not fully go through her primitive reflexes as an infant (these are developmental stages) and that she still retains her Moro Reflex. People who continue like this are very sensitive emotionally and physically and have trouble adjusting to new situations. The Moro Reflex can be integrated however by doing some simple exercises. You can look for an Occupational Therapist who knows how to do this (not all do) or go to my website www.pyramidofpotential.com and read about neurodevelopment under the Pyramid page. If you find you need a DVD to follow for the exercises you would want Starfish.

I wish you the very best with your daughter. I know what it is like since I had anxiety most of my life due to the Moro as well as some of my kids.

Awww! I feel for your poor baby girl! Your daughter seems so sweet so young and had a horrible experience with that bully. It seems that your daughter was left somewhat traumatized. Do you know for sure if that one bully girl hasn't bothered her? Does your daughter see her? If she does, maybe she still feels like she's going to do something to her. You should take her to a child counselor. Poor thing. Children should be happy and it breaks my heart when they are sad. I hope she gets better about going to school. :(

When my son was 3 he would throw up if he was made to eat food he didnt want or like. His dad thought it was on purpose, but I know it wasn't. His tummy was developed enough. She will outgrow it, but the more you make a fuss over it the longer it will take to outgrow it. When she throws up, just clean it and her in a very calm relaxed way and dont fuss or comment.