3 Year Old Boy- Is Very Moody

Hi, N.!!!
You just described my 3-year-old son! Don't worry too much. This is just a phase. I have learned that an afternoon nap helps tremendously. Without it he is horrible! Try to keep him busy and interested in something. Also, avoid red dyes and sugar. It has helped so much with my son. Don't forget positive reinforcement. Little kids love it! I wish you luck. Three is definitely worse than 2!! lol

I think this is part of growing up and figuring out what is allowed and acceptable. This is where the "boys will be boys" theory is used often. I have two boys and they have different temperments, however, they are not allowed to be disrespectful. There need to be consequences for being too loud at the wrong time. There are times when you need to leave the house, etc. I give my kids a run down of what is happening that day, then when they get home from school I tell them how long they have until we leave. Then I have 2 minute warnings before we load the car. Maybe a routine and setting those expectations will help. My daughter is ready right on time, one is ready 5 minutes early and the third just makes it. Keep correcting the bahaviors to give him clear direction on what is expected.

I would recommend looking into food allergies and sensitivities. My daughter (3) has some sensitivities to dairy and peanut butter and allergies to egg & raspberries. There are outward signs (rash & vomitting) for the egg and raspberries, but with dairy and peanut butter her behavior is affected more than anything. I am a behavioral psychologist and see many children at my practice as well with behavior challenges and mood difficulities. Often we are finding it to be related to foods, additives, preservatives and artificial coloring. You can tell by removing all the top allergy foods: dairy, wheat, soy, egg, seafood, nuts and then reintroduce them in a rotation diet. Introduce only one of the groups each week and keep track of his behavior in a food diary. If you need any other resources or information on how to do this please feel free to contact me. Hope you find something that helps - L.

HI N.
I think part of it is a phase and being a boy. But it could also be a sign of food sensitivity (however I'm not a doc). You could keep a food log and jot down his moods with what he's eating. It would give you a better idea of how his food is effecting him.
My daughter gets very weepy if she has wheat(sometimes very very sassy, not like her at all). Turns out that she's allergic to gluten the protein in wheat, rye, and barley, oats are processed at the same plants so are contaminated.
I've also noticed processed foods, anything with HFCS or white sugar make her act like the bad kids you see sometimes in public.
Good luck, A. H

My son, also three turning 4 on Sunday acts like this too. I don't remember my oldest who is 11 do this but I do remember saying that threes are worse than twos, what are they talking about terrible twos lol! So maybe my oldest did and I have blocked that memory :) With the baby now, he insists when it is time for us to leave to take the older ones to school that he has to go potty and he will sit there for twenty minutes and usually we are running late then. (he does go by the way) He hates going places and would much rather stay at home but he goes whether he likes it or not, usually involves me carrying him kicking and screaming and a huge struggle to get in the car but he calms down after a few blocks and forgets the whole nasty scene! He has been playing with a boy who is 5 and has ADHD and he is picking up some of his behaviors which is now another thing that we have to work on but I'm sure he will grow out of that too. I guess my best advice is just to hang in there watch your yelling and to be consistent. I would also try to find more alone time with him, my baby was jealous of the little girl I babysat and he even told me that he did not want her here, she was mean to him like really mean and so I told the Mom that I thought it was best if I stopped watching her and he did return to the nice baby he was before. This was about a year ago, so I think what he is going through now must be the "treacherous Threes" as I like to call them! Good luck sorry so long just thought I'd share with you that you are not the only one dealing with this and that when he is 11 you will forget this just as I have and there will be new attitudes to deal with :)

Boys are interesting at this age. Your description sounds just like my now 4 year old. My little guy was actually experiencing mild anxiety. He still is not thrilled with leaving the house, and if he's going to be naughty it's definitly going to be when we are out. Making outings very predictable and practicing good behavior when outside the home really helped us. He may need some extra attention from you as well. We made a formal schedule that is posted on the fridge so he always knows what is coming next. I know, who has time for that? It was actually easier than I thought to implement.
I am speculating here about your situation. I just can tell you what was going on at our house. I hope you find some advice that works for both of you. Good luck.

I'm probably very off base, but I would recommend talking to your pediatrician. The behavior you are describing sounds very much like my husband. Okay, they are both males, but he's also bi-polar. I know that it is very rare to find that sort of diagnosis in children. However, the behavior alone may be something that your dr. can help with. I know that we have discussed our youngest daughters behavior with our dr. and were able to get some techniques to help her better. Her's is more of acting out and throwing tantrums though.

N., I was just working at a day care when my boy was 4 and some of the attitude sounds like mine. And the lady that ran the day care said her kids acted like that when they were younger (she started a daycare out of her house to start also). I would suggest finding some 'positive' discipline or incentives. Can he be your 'little'helper to make him feel like he is part of it? I don't mean hold or change diapers, but just other things -- picking up, helping but a younger child to sleep (like rubbing their back). Maybe taking some extra snuggle time with him before or after nap? The other children understand, their always very intuitive.

Also, how are you responding to his reactions to things? Often our children reflect our mood. This one was and is a hard for me to remember. It's got to be hard on him when your attention is on others.. Try to think would it would be like to be in his shoes. Love him from where he is at right now. If he doesn't like to go out, is there someone he can stay with? What are the things that make him naughty when your out?

N.,

I have 5 boys and only 2 of them are "moody" the other 3 are fairly mellow and laid back. I think it sounds more like personality traits than "just boys being boys". My 2 moody boys are difficult personalities, they tend to want things their way, are fairly self-centered, and strong willed.

That doesn't mean that I just give in and let them run the show. There are still rules and expectations and for the most part they follow them (although it seems they are always testing limits).

It helps to be consistent, same rules all the time not just when they feel like being cooperative (they can be very charming and loving when they are in the mood to be) that means that sometimes they are not very pleased with me and let me know about it in no uncertain terms. Doesn't matter... eventually they like me again. LOL Also when we are going somewhere, right before we get there (usually in the car)we go over what is expected.....no running, no yelling, no interrupting etc. If its something they think is fun and they don't cooperate we just leave, otherwise if its errands or other things that have to get done, then consequences are handed out once we get home. We usually talk about this in the car too before we get where we are going.

I have to say that you are doing him an injustice by excusing his behavior because he is a boy. Boys still have rules and expectations and are quite capable of following them, being cooperative and obedient. All my boys are well behaved and respectful. Good luck to you.

I really think it is a phase. My 3 year old turns 4 on Thursday and he sounds very similar to your son. He has gotten better now, but he still gets very moody and angry if things don't go his way. He will ball his fist, get a very angry look on his face, and stomp his feet. He has yelled, thrown toys, and slammed doors. He can also be very loving! He seems to be growing out of the behavior and I have extremely limited the amount of sugar he gets in a day (to help with hyperness). You are not alone!