3 Month Old Refuses to Nap

A great book on this type of behavior is "Healthy Sleep Habit, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. I have 2.5 month old twins that do really well with both naps and sleeping through the night (10am-6am) by using many of the tips he gives and better understanding the role of sleep for infants. HOpe this helps.

Honestly, put her down earlier for a nap before she gets overtired. Try blackout drapes and white noise. You can get white noise DVDs online and at many baby stores. This worked like a charm for my daughter. It blocks a lot of outside noise(sirens, cars/honking) as well as talking, tv, etc. I know it is very hard, but if you try to be consistent (Eat, play, nap etc.) Overtime it will take hold. It may take a little bit of time to get her back on track. I've been there. GOOD LUCK!

L

Read the baby whisperer if you haven't already. She has great suggestions on a routine that most any baby can follow. I was going through the same thing with my now 5 mth old and he naps no problem cause I recognize the signs of tiredness before he goes into overload. Good luck!

I am a mom of two girls, now 8 and 11. The more I wanted them to nap, the more stressed I got and the more stressed the baby became. I realized that when they were going through nap transitions, their naptimes changed and we all became stressed out. The best advice I could give you is to let the baby cry at nap time for about 1 hour. Make sure baby has full tummy, dry and is warm, but not too warm. Then, shut the door and don't go back for about an hour if still crying (obviously let her nap if she's sleeping, but not for too long or else you'll never get her down at bedtime). Then get her up and carry on with your day. Try to keep to a schedule for naptime and for bedtime. The more you go in and check, the worse it becomes. Good Luck. (P.S. It always helped me to have a soothing cup of tea when I had to wait for the crying to stop - if really bad, a glass of wine in the evening!)

At three months old he should be going a bit longer than three hours between feedings. Regardless, my suggestion is to read "On Becoming Baby Wise: giving your child the gift of nighttime sleep" by Ezzo and Bucknam. I think most sleep/eat problems people have posted on this site would benefit from it. Also be aware of medical issues that might be present. I would suggest that you talk to your pediatrician but the fact is that most pediatricians deal with the most common problems and thus they try to fix your problem with the most common solutions first. But they don't alwas know exactly what is wrong; they just make an educated guess. All I am saying is that you know your baby better than anyone. If you think there is something wrong, there probably is. If you think it's a normal issue, then you can afford to try to follow the advice of other moms/doctors to see what works best.

Have you tried wearing your baby in a sling like Hotslings? My daughter had a hard time falling asleep until I would wear her during the day. Now it isn't a problem for her to take her naps. She just wanted to be next to me and feel me. I hope this helps.

I am not in the medical profession, but I am a mother of four. The baby will be hungry every 2-4 hours depending on if you are breast feeding or bottle feeding, so her schedule you wrote seems pretty accurate for her age. I don't know how busy your schedule is or what your feelings are on where a baby should sleep (i.e. always in the crib, if it's okay to sleep with you, or if you let her fall asleep while feeding). Since you are not working right now you might want to lay with the baby; cradle and soothe her to sleep next to you in your bed while nursing or feeding her a bottle. This will work if you are breast feeding or bottle feeding(be sure you are relaxed and not anxious for her to fall asleep; if you are tense and anxious it will take longer for her to fall asleep and it will seem like twice as long to you). If you get up after she falls asleep and secure her sleeping position you probably won't have to worry about her not being able to sleep without you next to her. Eventually the napping will come more naturally once she is used to this routine and feeling secure...Good luck. Just remember to try and be relaxed around your child. It's my philosophy that a relaxed parent nurtures a happy, relaxed child.

I used a book called Secrets of the Babywhisperer. Sounds cheesy, but the system works great. It's all about listening to your child while you teach them to fall asleep on their own. It worked, but it's difficult. I hope you find a way that works for you!

Our little girl wouldn't sleep anywhere but my husband's chest, and took tiny little naps during the day, hardly anything. We had hours-long screaming fits at night. We tried everything, until I finally came across the Amby. I could have cried, it worked so well. She slept in it at night, with occasional bouncing when she woke up, and she took naps in it during the day.

It took us some time to work our little girl up to longer and more frequent naps, but we finally got there.

There's a lot of good advice from the other respondents; it's the same kind of stuff we did. I generally went by the Healthy Habits, Happy Child book, with the gentler approach. I *so* hope you can get your baby to nap. I totally sympathize.

Ok...are you feeding her every 3 hours? I would do my best to get her on an eat play then nap schedule every three hours. I have to say my son really didn't nap during the day until I basically forced him at 4 months. But looking back I don't think I really looked for the signs that he was tired. They say when they look away, rub their eyes, and yawn then that is the time to put them down. Now I have twin girls 6 months old and can tell the signs of sleepiness. Anyway, the way I forced my son was at about 9:30 and 1:30 I would wrap him up in the miracle blanket tight, and rock him to sleep. He would fight me for about a minute or two, but then he would fall alseep because he was tired. Don't give up, you totally can get your baby to sleep. However, sleep specialists say that you really can't sleep train a baby until they are around 4 months or a certain weight. All babies are different so nobody can really be the expert on your baby. I hope this helps, but I would start with the eating every 3 hours and try naps in between and something should stick.
Jen

Sleep issues are so hard, because they wear out the mom and dad too! As the mom of 3, I feel your pain! I had one great sleeper, one who didn't sleep well at all, and I don't know why they were the way they were. They all sleep through the night now! (the youngest is 3) It is not necessarily your fault at all - sometimes you just have to get through the day knowing it will be better someday. That said, since this started up recently, I would definitely check with your ped (ear infection? tummy issues?), consider any recent food changes, that sort of thing. Also, a book by Brazelton, called "Touchpoints" talks about how sleep patterns change at different points of development. Sometimes they just can't stand sleeping because they are so into some new thing they can do or new awareness of their world. It may be "just a stage". Try to keep a routine, take care of your own sanity, and hang in there!

Read Read Read... Baby Wise, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, The Baby Whisperer.
She needs to nap- probably 3 times a day and a morning nap should be emerging at a specific time... and then a long stretch at night- 12hours give or take. She may need to cry to learn to self-soothe... babies need the opportunity to learn to self-soothe... and not be over tired- for your sanity and for her health and development.

Hi! Our baby is 7 months old and she went through a rough period that our pediatrician (and my Mother in Law) referred to as "The Witching Hour" - although it was usually longer than one hour! It's a growth spurt where the babies have so much extra energy and they don't know what to do with it, so the only thing they can do is scream. It's almost like exercising. For our baby the witching hour would usually happen around 2 or 3 o'clock and again at 6 pm - sometimes that would last until 10 pm or later. Then someone clued us into "the yoga ball trick"
Get a yoga ball, sit on it and hold your baby in front of you like she's sitting up - hold her legs in one hand, so they're straight out in front of her (sometimes this helps if gas is the issue) and then bounce. It's amazing. It would always calm our baby down and she would often go to sleep while I was bouncing.
I hope this helps. Good luck!!

You didn't mention if you are breastfeeding or not. If so, you may be putting too much caffeine in your diet and transferring it to her. If not, you should pick a specific naptime, put her down as usual and close the door, hopefully you have a baby monitor. Do this every day at the same time and she will fall asleep and have a pattern. It's tough listening to them cry but they will end up sleeping. Consistency is the key, make sure you pick a time when you can stay home and not disturb the nap. At 3 months they should be taking a couple of naps during the day, but you can start with one. My children also had a specific bedtime every night.
Try this if that doesn't work you may want to consult a doctor.

I feel for you...Remember she is still young I am all about schedule kids need it. This is the time to try this. Put her down two hours after she eats. She should take two naps a day. Also, some kids just don't need all the sleep. It will get better, also she should start showing you signs I didn't pick these up with my first. I hope this works.

Mother of two 3 1/2 and 7 months with one due in June

Congratulations! You are a very in-tune mom to realize your child is acting out because she is tired. I didn't know until after they fell asleep! Duh! I think babies fight sleep because they are afraid they are going to miss something. It will change. You might try "white noise" such as the vacuum or hair dryer or radio static, good and loud. It soothes most kids, reminding them of womb sounds.

My twin girls went through that stage about the same age and the only way I could get them to nap during the day was to put them in their cradle swings. I also played a CD of white noise while they slept (I got that advice from Dr. Harvey Karp's book "The Happiest Baby on the Block). In fact, my daughters who are now 3 yrs. old still like to listen to the CD. They like the rainfall or the ocean waves.

I know Fisher Price sells a beautiful and soothing swing that is called the Papasan that can swing in two different directions. Also, look for CD's online that are just white noise sounds. Ours is called "For Crying Out Loud," or some baby websites sell a whitenoise/ sound machines.

Hope this helps...it was a life saver for our family.

A.,
Despite the fact that she doesn't want to.. try setting the mood. Maybe like a padding for the floor, you lay w/ her.. make it seem like your tired. Or try putting on some calming music. With my son we had a schedule. He could play all morning until about 12:30-1:00 sometimes earlier(let them work up a sweat to be tired). But when it came "sleepy time" we'd shut down everything. Lunch(make them full so they don't have to get up to be hungry again), a shower (so they feel nice and fresh/clean), favorite pillow/blankie/doll etc. When you set them down, leave the t.v. off, no other babies.. one naps.. all nap! Try doing this on a daily basis.. like a "sleepy time" schedule.
**sweet dreams, M.E.

this so sounds just like my son. I was afraid to get a caretaker too. I suggest you get a few sleep books and read them (I ended up using the "sleep easysolution" book) and start using this. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be. For me it got to the point where youd have to rock him for like 40 minutes sometimes more to get him to sleep. Now I put him down, he cries for 5 minutes then naps for an hour!! (he used to only nap for 20 minutes) and he wakes up happy. It is very hard to let them cry, but remember its for their own good (and your sanity!)

Dear Adrian,

I'm sorry that I cannot be of help here - my babies all took naps, at least through kindergarten - and one through first grade. What I do want to say, however, is at this point I wouldn't worry about what will happen when you go back to work in two months - a lot can change between now and then. She may have adjusted to this new schedule and not be screaming any more - or she may be taking naps again. A LOT can happen with a baby and her schedule in two months time . . .

Good Luck!
B.

Hi A.,

she is probably a little colicky. If you are still nursing, make sure you check your diet - it would be good to make sure that you are not eating things that can cause colick, like beans, and cabbage. I would cut out dairy as well. I have a lady who does Cranio-Sacral Therapy and she gets rid of this kind of thing for people on a regular basis. Where do you live?
Also, Mothering Magazine at www.mothering.com has great archived articles about colick.

This is very stressful for everyone, I hope that you will find ways to make this better. I went through it with my first daughter, and she stopped from one day to the next, after about two months, and it was a very very difficult time for all of us.
Wishing you well,
S. E

Dear A.,

Alll righty, now Mommy. Just find out what her getting to sleep rhythm is. I have been helping out with the care of my gr grand baby and she is one of those non sleepers - until she gets to her grandmother (my daughter) and me (great grandmother) . We just get her as comfortable as possible, lots of pillows and a silky thingy to feel and lay with her through her going to sleep 'program'. My daughter says that she goes through about 5 steps and I say that she goes through about 10 steps - two of them being screaming fits. One time she got so upset that she blew bubbles until her whole face was wet. So cute. She actually does go to sleep, but we have to wave our magic wands and sing her little tiny no word songs and pat her tiny little body and make her mad when she wants to roll over to see what the world is doing that she is missing out on. It is well worth the time spent and will bond you two until death do you part. No kidding, it is a journey and you can get to the sleepy part. Never never never give up. That is what Winston Churchhill said and I believe that he was right. If you let her stay awake again to 4 P.M., then you will have certain and continued hell to pay.

Sincerely, C. N.

Have you asked your pediatrician about colic? My daughter, A. had "flare ups" between 4-6p.m. and it turned out she had colic. Its worth looking into. I always found once you know why your children are crying, the crying isn't so intolerable. Good luck!
M.

Hello, I truely understand what you are going thru, but understand, your child feels your frustration. When approaching situations like this the first thing you must do is relax. Children feed of of there parents emotions......There is alot to do with your childs sleeping habits. What kind of activities are going on in your home during the day and how often are you home or out in about? Is your child on formula or breast milk? If on formula, what kind, regular or soy? What time is your baby's last feeding prior to 4pm and how easily would it be to wake your baby up during this tinme for a feeding? I know most mom's will say " let a sleeping child sleep" but a 3 month should already be sleeping thru the night and it is not to late to change their sleeping habits.

I know it can be very overwelming but restasure it will all work out fine.

Please respond,
Moms for life,

H.

A.,
Don't forget to use your pediatrician and his/her nurses as a resource. They often can give very good advice an things nonmedical. I would say once your baby is up for 2 hours, put her down in a quiet cozy place to sleep. Make sure she is feed and diapered before you do this. So that you can be secure that she has no other reasons to cry. If she cries, which it sounds like she will, let her cry for as long as you can take it, then try again an hour later. Keep trying to give her the opportunity to sleep. But, I would first check with her ped before doing anything further.

what does the rest of her day look like? when our daughter was young she couldn't take too many activities (or she would struggle with naps)... have you ever tried a semi-structured routine? i know it sounds impossible.... it takes serious commitment, then you see the changes in a week's time or sometimes longer. it's worth it. healthy sleep habits, happy child is a great resource for napping/sleeping tips. it's a bit extreme/routinized but if you mold it to your lifestyle - it has some invaluable ideas! One thing's for sure, you are not alone! Hope she sleeps well today. Aloha

I have a child that did the same thing. He is 11 and is still that way. He just doesn't want to miss anything. I used to drive in the car for hours and he wouldn't go to sleep. I think just leaving them in their crib for the alloted time, maybe? I never used a crib and maybe that was my problem. maybe he never really learned to soothe himself because i was always there trying to help him. our relationship is still that way, he looks to me to assuage all of his fears and anxieties and it really is my fault for not letting him learn to take care of certain basic needs for himself. I think some children are more hard wired for anxiety, that could be the issue or it may be something simple like a digestive developmental thing. Good luck but try and let her learn how to soothe herself. Good luck!

try to bring her to the park at around 11am and feed her that way she is not hungry and would be able to sleep. run with her around the park and tire her out. by 2pm hopefully she will be ready to nap on her own. good luck!!!!

I strongly recommend swaddling. At 3 mos old your baby should be awake no longer than 2 hours at a time...maybe even 90 mins. The book "Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child" has a good guide for sleep including naps. A lot of books only talk about night time sleep. I also recommend the DVD "Happiest Baby on the Block" it explains how important swaddling is to get your baby to sleep and KEEP them asleep. The swaddle needs to be very snug. a thermal stretchy blanket is best. Or if you can get the miracle blanket. It works wonders. Check it out online I think it's just www.miracleblanket.com I have a 12 mos old and a 3.5 yr old. It worked for both children. Hope these suggestions help.

I didn't read all of the responses so I'm not sure if anyone else has said something similar.
Hold her while she naps - just for now.
My 3 month old will not sleep by herself for naps. (She will at night, then wake to breastfeed a few times but falls back asleep easily then.) She also will not nap in the car or her swing. She has been colicky from the beginning and is starting to get better in general, but she lacks any self soothing skills. While we work on those skills and wait out a few more weeks for her to continue to mature before doing things like letting her cry, I have to sit with her when she naps. It makes me crazy and I want to pull my hair out - especially when she naps for 3 hours - but it is the only way for her to get the sleep that she needs right now. Sleep is important for their brain development, which she will need if she is ever going to learn to sooth herself. I am trying to be careful not to set myself up for problems in the future. I am reading all of the books the others have suggested to try and help me with that.
I feel you though. Best Wishes!

Hi A.,
I feel your pain. When my son was around 3 months old I had the same problem. I read "Happiest Baby on the Block" and starting implementing the strategies and it really helped! I started swaddling my son again (We mistakingly stopped swaddling when he was just a few weeks old thinking he didn't like it. We didn't realize it was normal for babies to try to kick and squirm their way out of the blanket. They really do need the swaddling to help them feel safe and secure.) and that really seemed to help. He was almost 5 months old when I weaned him off the swaddling. He's been a great sleeper ever since! He sleeps from 7:30pm until 7:30am and takes a nap every day for about 1 1/2 hours to 3 hours. Good luck!
J.

I had trouble with my son falling asleep. We used th3 20 minute rule. It is sometimes hard for babies to get themselves to go to sleep. I would read him a book or just sing to him and make the room dark, put something that smelled like me next to him (like a t-shirt) and then leave some music on. He would cry but I had to let him. I waited 20 minutes (which seemed SO long in the beginning). If he was still crying after 20 minutes then I would check on him. If there still seems to be nothing wrong and he was still crying then I would take him out and play with him. If that doesn't work than she might be in pain and you should call her doctor. Hopefully this or something else helps, it's hard to have a tired baby.

Get the book "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child"--- it can be kind of harsh--- but it saved me. I had twins who didn't like to nap or sleep through the night.

Hi A.- I feel your pain! My son did the same thing. Facilitating more of a schedule helped both of us. He eats, then activity and then sleep- I put him down for naps in between 1 1/2 & 2 hours after when he last woke up- this was key. If you let them get too tired, it becomes harder and harder to get them down.

When he really wouldn't go to sleep, turning on a hair dryer really helped to calm him down and put him to sleep. We've also used music and other white noise.

When it's time for naptime (judging by his cues and how long it has been since he last woke up) I swaddle him, rock him for a few minutes to calm him down, and then put him in his crib once he's drowsy. It's still not great- he only naps for about 40 minutes most of the time, but that is definitely better than before!

I suggest reading babywise or the baby whisper- both helped me understand setting up a schedule. Try the hair dryer- that is always or go to when all else feels lost.

It has become better for us as he has gotten older, so there is hope! Hang in there!

I have a 2 month old and he also gets fussy and cries right before falling asleep for the night too. I'm sure you have heard of the 5 "S"'s (swaddle, suck, shoosh, swing, side/stomach)? I find the best thing that works for us is breast feeding. He will use my boob as a pacifier and fall asleep. Some other tricks we use are holding him and bouncing lightly while sitting on my yoga ball and walking him around while shooshing in his ear.

there is a great book called "baby wyse" or wise (cant remeber) has some great tips! www.heavenlyhooked.com

Hi A.,

First, congratulations and welcome to motherhood! My daughter is now 12, but when she was around that age, she would cry EVERY night from 6:30 pm - 11pm, like clockwork. So, I feel you! Also, remember that babies have been in a warm, dark womb for 9 months, folded in the fetal position. So, being in the "world" for 3 mos is very new to them.

I've read throught the responses and I agree with swaddling. Nothing seems to help babies sleep like swaddling. First, make sure your baby is fed, burpted, changed, etc then swaddle her. A., over the years, my 12 yr old would not sleep through the night, I tried swaddling her at 10 yrs!!! We both laughed hysterically, she thought I was nuts!!! LOL!!!

Also, do you use any mobiles or soothing music in her room or near where she sleeps? This helped my daughter. Even if she were awake, she seemed to enjoy the music.

What do you do with your daughter when she's awake. Do you read to her? Sing to her? Interact? Also, try a baby bouncy seat during the day. My daughter LOVED it and was quiet. I've heard many mothers say their babies even sleep in them, since they are so cozy!!!

Good luck, you're going to learn alot in a short amount of time, so be flexible and just do your best.

I also have a 3 month old...First of all, are you bottle or breast feeding..Either way, the baby needs the calcium and magnesium, as well as MINERALS...Most babies colic is from a lack of minerals...Most formulas only have 11 or 12 minerals...
I used the extreme x2o throughout my pregnancy and now add it to tylers formula...
If you never heard of this, check it out at www.xooma.ca
or e-mail me and i will share with you exactly what i do...Tyler is SOOO healthy, considering he was a month early, that we are going to be featured on the MIRACLE HEALTH Network.com later this year....
____@____.com

A.,
Babies NEED sleep - especially that young. Something is preventing her from sleeping and it sounds like she needs help to go to sleep. Usually babies are tired again within 1.5 of waking. Sometimes sooner. If you miss the window of opportunity to notice the signs and start soothing her, her adrenaline will kick in and she'll get a 2nd wind. After she's been awake for 1 hour (after she's nursed or bottle and light play - no loud noisy toys) - place her back in the bassinet/crib if she can self-soothe, or get a different sling where she is not upright - the Bjorn's are forward facing and upright - too stimulating. Try a New Native, so she can lie sideways against your abdomen and walk around the house with her to get he sleepy. Then take the sling off with her still in it, and lay her in the crib. You can peel away most of the sling, but don't disturb her too much by trying to remove the entire thing. Then after she has been awake for about 2 hours, start a soothing routine all over again. Try giving her a warm bath during the day. The slings really work great. But lose the Bjorn. They separate their legs and are not recommended by chiropractors at that age. They are not conducive to sleep. I really recommend New Native and Over The Shoulder Baby holder. Good Luck!
D.

Try to get her into a daily and nightly routine. Feeding every two to three hours, play and nap time when not feeding. Have you tried to rock her before nap time? It's important to remember to put her in her crib before she goes to sleep when rocking. Is she spitting up alot? If so, perhaps her tummy is bothering her from feeding her. If this continues I would take her to the Doctor's just to have her checked.

The rocking and the daily routine always worked best for me and my children! Hope this helps!

Every baby is different, so I would hesitate to take any one approach as the magic cure for an over-tired baby who is having trouble sleeping. Both of my kids were very different nappers. I suggest taking a look at one or all of the following books:

1) Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg & Melinda Blau
2) Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth
3) On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Night Time Sleep by Gary Ezzo & Robert Bucknam

Each one is full of great tips on how to help your child sleep and offer examples of different situations that may helpful to your particular situation.

Best of luck!