3 Month Old Crying with Daddy for Hours

Hi T.,

I am a new mother with a 4 1/2 month old that does the same thing. Someone recommended leaving a piece of clothing that smells like you to comfort her. It's been working so far.

My son cried a lot too at that age. Usually taking him outside for a walk (or a drive if you have a car) was a good bet. We also would put him in the Baby Bjorn and dance around to loud music. (I know it sounds funny but it worked, especially Bob Marley!) Good luck.

Hi T.,

I remember when I started to work part time to make extra money when my 3rd child was 2-3 month. He was actually very good baby who slept very well and didn't have problem with daddy or grandma. But night time was different. He screamed for quite long time. One day I came back and I found broken chair and small hole in kitchen floor. I didn't know what happened and my husband didn't tell me. later on, I found out that my husband had a fit and throw chair in the kitchen. I was thankful to God that the chair wasn't my boy... After that, I asked my friend to watch him, paying a little money. But you know what? It wasn't worth doing. He cried and cried when she was watching. What's good about this aggravation? If you can, I suggest you to stay home with your baby a little longer. Mother is the one who is meant to take care of her baby and I think especially night time, baby needs his/her mom. Or maybe you can arrange to work day time if that works better with your baby.

I was actually going to suggest what many of these moms have... one of your shirts.
If you are 'fluffier' than your husband, like I ma to mine, then have him put your pillow under the shirt when he wears it. Some babies need the comfiness of mom... and some guys just don't have it. LOL

As for you needing to be home with baby all of the time.... if you are only working part time, baby should be able to have some time away from you. If not, baby will never be able to be away from you and you will in turn never be able to leave the baby with someone else for the break you are going to eventually need.
Baby needs to be able to be taken care of by someone other than just mommy. He will get used to it, it just takes some time.

Another thing you might try is having dad hold him with you sitting nearby... even close to daddy. Help dad sooth him if he cries but keep having dad hold him. Then, get up and walk to another room for a few minutes, then come back to him. Keep doing this and lengthening the time you are in the other room before you come back. After a couple of days the baby will figure out that mom is going to come back to him but for a while, dad is the one who is handling him. He will adjust to it.

You might try leaving a shirt or your nightgown that you have worn(unwashed) that smells like you. I used to do this to snuggle the baby with .You would be surprised at how they respond to scent.

hi T.;

maybe it's the formula and bottle. some breastfed babies really hate those things, which is best in the end. i don't know what your schedule is like but perhaps you could give the baby a big nurse before you go, really set aside time for it and try to do both breasts, and perhaps he will sleep the whole time. does he use a pacifier? my kids both did and would nurse to sleep, and the first wake up of the night could always be quieted with the pacifier. i nursed them to sleep, then when i took out my breast from the mouth i would tuck the pacifier in, and when they woke up, put it back in. your husband could try this.
then when you get home, nurse the baby as soon as he wakes up even if it's in the middle of the night. he will go back to sleep so much faster than any other way if you nurse him, plus you will keep your supply up so that you always have plenty.

it's so wonderful that you are breastfeeding, and the formula is nowhere near as good for the baby. in just a couple more months you will be able to start leaving food for the baby, like fruits such as melons, soft pears, veggies such as sweet potatoes, and your husband can give that to the baby. but in the meantime you could work toward getting rid of the bottle all together. it might be the problem.

good luck
J.

While you're at home wear dad's shirt...when you leave have daddy put it on(now he smells like you)and have daddy put baby in a frontpack/snugglie and have him wear baby(now baby hears heartbeat)....men have a harder time holding our little creatures in a way that is comfortable for them both...our babys usually snuggle against our soft breasts and men don't have these and they are bigger and baby seems to slip through the cracks so to speak...I also gave the boppy to my honey and he would sit with it on his lap(around his waist)and place baby in his arms that way(this also works well with sibblings who are wanting to hold baby but too young to support baby on their own)...all this sounds good but really daddy will figure out what will work in time...best of luck to you both!

definatly leave the t-shirt that u have worn, my 2nd was like this and it does pass, I could not go anywhere when he was a baby. He is still a Mummy's boy but Dad is the guy! read book "the out of sink child" deals with sensory issues and I wish I had read it when my 2nd was a baby. I am not ssaying he has sensory issues but the ideas can help, good luck :)

Hello T.,

while your hubby is trying your bra...(just kidding!) tell him to lay off the cologne/after shave for a few days. babies are very sensitive to strong scents. does your husband smoke? that could be too. I read something similar on another post where the grandma smoked and the baby would scream the minute she held him. Good luck! ~Carmen~

It sounds like colic is starting. Poor guys. Tell your husband not to take it personally.

Well, I am old-fashioned and think that all moms should be staying at home with their kids! However, since that is probably not what you want to hear or what you are going to do, here's what I suggest:

Have your child spend one on one time with your husband while you ARE home...like have your husband give him the bottle while you are at home and not just when you leave. Also, do you pump? Breastmilk in the bottle might be better than formula as it will remind the baby of you and nursing with you.

And, here's a crazy sounding idea, but it does work!...have your husband wear or drape a piece of your clothing (preferably one you have just worn, not one fresh from the wash) on him so that the baby can smell your presence! :) I had my husband do this when I have gone out for extended periods of time and it did help. good luck! and tell us how it all works out!

The same exact thing happened to me! I work nights too 12 am till 8:30 am. The doctor told us that she was "Testing" him. It does eventually stop. At first we thought that she had colic but she didn't. While I was on maternity leave she was with me all the time. When I went back to work my husband had to take care of her and she was use to me taking care of her day and night. After a while things got better. I talked him through the steps... change diaper, burp, bottle, is she cold etc. If those things didn't work I told him to walk with her rub her back and talk to her to calm her. My husband was going crazy! She is 6 months now and sleeps for him just fine. Tell him to be patient it will get better. Some babies just get attached to one parent. Also we made a tape with my voice on it. This way she could hear me. That seemed to work. But she got used to having him take care of her and she is fine with him now. I hope that this helps. Good Luck!!!

Try having your husband wear one of your shirts. Preferably the one you had on during the day, but not a clean one. It smells like you and may offer comfort. If your hubby won't fit in one of your shirts wear his throughout the day so it will carry your smell. I know sounds gross right, but if it works great. With my daughter I put my night shirt in her crib to help her sleep.

hi T.... try wearing the same shirt to bed for a couple of days.. then when daddy gets the baby, have him drap that shirt on his shoulder so baby can smell your smell... good luck!
J.

You did not say whether you are nursing or not. That could be a bit of the problem. The baby does not smell you around of when you are holding him. One thing I told my son to do when he had the same problem as you. Was go in the bathtub and lay the baby on your chest in the water.
It usually relaxes the baby and the daddy. Children can sense nervousness.

I agree the smell is something, but try just wearing daddys T shirt for the day instead LOL the bra may be a bit much Ahahahah besides ts probably to small.

give him a wubby, --a soft blanket you use to rub on his face,

show your husband HOW you hold him, and HOW you feed him, and HOW you pet hs cheeks ect.. So he can do t the same way,if you usually wear the snuglie, put him IN it before you leave.

also try pumping, and letting daddy bottle feed him your breast milk, alternatively you feed him the formula,

IT could be gas, from the formula, try bicycling his legs or Mylicon drops.

Lastly How about a video tape of you talking , so daddy can play it for him, or just a cd or tape of your voice for background noise.

M

I actually had this same problem. It was also the same age.My little one would cry if anyone held him besides me, even if I was in the room. I don't have any good advice, but I wanted to let you know at 4 months it completely changed. Now he loves to spend time with his daddy.

T.

T.,
I am no expert, but here's what I am thinking. When you are around, your son is able to not only see you, but also smell you. We all have our unique scent, and since he has been up close and very personal with you while breastfeeding, he knows what you smell like very well.

Advice: Leave your bra that you have worn all day (or longer) with your husband, not to wear (LOL), but to give to your son to hold and put near his face, especially when feeding from the bottle. If that is not enough, then perhaps several items of your worn clothing could be placed on the bed, and then put your baby on top of them. Surround him with your scent.

Sounds crazy, but I remember hearing about this from another Mom when my son was first born.