My 3-year-old is in afternoon preschool this year. He did 2-year-old and it was great! This year he screams at drop-off. The first day he was very nervous but did not cry when I left. He simply started eating lunch. The second day he did not want to go back and screamed. So you're thinking...it must not be fun. But it's a GREAT program with friendly teachers, story time, free play, outside, music, etc. Everyone is so very kind and patient with him. But to him, of course, it's an unfamiliar environment with a lot of teachers. He goes 4 days a week 11:45 to 4:30. Only 1-3pm is the preschool time. The first hour is lunch, and the last part is late pick-up (I can't get there at 3pm). So dropping him off at lunch, he screams (despite the promise of a good hot meal). I wonder how long this will go on.
And yes, going from lunch to preschool to late-pick-up (each a different room, different teacher) is a TON of transition for a 3-year-old and is not my ideal choice, but those are the hours that work for us and I DO want him to have the wholesome lunch there. I'm too sick at home to make much of anything.
The alternative is he'd be at home (feeling no pain, for sure) watching TV. I'm really sick and pregnant and I don't want him just vegging with the TV!
I was hoping he'd learn to love his class. But gee, drop-off is a challenge. Tomorrow will be day #3.
What transition do you start at home? Do you know about the book the Kissing Hand? I would also ask the teachers how long he cries. It may simply be that the new teachers and new environment are overwhelming for the first few minutes and he's OK.
Yes he will stop crying. It's just hard right now as it's new and he has to leave you. Reassure him you will be back, that it's ok to feel scared but to try and be brave. You love him and that he is safe and will have fun. Don't pine over him at drop off. Get him situated, remind him you will be back, give him a kiss and leave. He will be fine.
My daughter was always eager to go to preschool. She loved it. She started kindergarten at 4. She was so ready.
My son, on the other hand, hated everything about going back to school. He was well-behaved and didn't cry or anything, but he certainly let me know that he wasn't happy about the whole situation. It took him a while to hit his stride and settle in. He just started his senior year in high school, so I'm well used to it by now. At least the first two weeks of school, he acts like he's being inhumanely tortured by the whole thing. It's just the way he is. It's a life long pattern I don't expect to ever change.
I saw a funny thing in the comic pages of our newspaper that basically said, "You're going back to school, not Shawshank".
Just be patient. I think your son will hit his groove. It sounds like you've found a wonderful program for him. He'll get over being unhappy about going back to the routine.
Best wishes.
As he sees this is his new routine he'll adjust and stop crying. My guy started preschool yesterday and neither of us cried (yay!) But I know they're may be days he'd rather stay home and plan to send him anyway. I agree, vegging out in front of the TV isn't helpful, preschool will help him in so many ways from learning to socialization skills, so steel yourself to handle the drop-offs. It may take time and I can't say how long but stay positive and matter-of-fact about preschool and don't make it an option. FYI, my daughter cried at EVERY drop-off the first semester (I was attending college) but her teachers and the director assured me she was fine once I was gone. So I learned to make our goodbyes short and sweet and we survived. After the holidays when we returned she was a pro and never cried again. She was 3 as is my little guy so I relate so well to this, hang in there :)
I'm a preschool teacher. Tomorrow is day 3? You are already questioning if he will always cry? ;) Relax. I'm sure your pregnancy and the fact that you are sick, make 2 days seem like forever. I have had kids cry for two weeks at drop off. They are always fine within 5 minutes of the parent leaving. he is testing you. Do not crack. If you give in and let him go home with you, the crying will never stop. He will always have it in the back of his head that you let him go home because he cried before. Once he makes friends with some other kids, he will love going to school. In the meantime is there anyone else that could drop him off? It's funny but kids that cry for Mom, never cry for Dad & vise versa. Also, kids that cry when their parents drop off never cry when a "neighbor", grandma or someone else drops off.
This too shall pass.
When my oldest started preschool, she never cried once the first week. The second week, I couldn't pry her off of me. I had to let the teacher just take her from me. It never bothered me because a.) I knew she was fine. & b.) I knew that she stopped crying after I left.
Dear M. C:
Call the preschool and ask how long he cries after you leave. Chances are, it doesn't last long after you leave.
In July, my nearly 4 son started a new preschool after 2 years at a different school. Because I consider him pretty "well-adjusted" (and had my own opinion of what that meant), I was very surprised at how emotional it was for him to leave his familiar friends, teachers, and traditions and begin again at a new school. There was alot of emotional behavior: crying at drop-off; crying the night before as he thought about drop-off; conversations which began, "Mom, let's talk about [insert name of new school here]; and "one particular throw-self-on-sidewalk-kicking-and-crying incident (with teacher whispering, "Just walk away. Walk away. WALK AWAY.). I gave him alot of room and space to talk about what he didn't like about the new school and what he missed about the old school.
And here's the thing. He had fun at this new school. He was making friends. His teachers were nice. He liked walking to school. He took swimming lessons and field trips. He was really enjoying himself. I was baffled.
Then, one day, a dear friend asked him how he liked his new school. With the biggest smile ever on his face, he announced "I don't like it." And I realized, with all these changes, he just needed to be in control of *something.* That *something* for him was how he talked about school. It was as if he was saying, "You can make me go to a new school school, but you can't control what I think about it."
That was a breakthrough. It took him two months before he would say, "I like [insert name of school here]. So hang in there, and let him work through this big change in his life. Good luck!
I am a preschool teacher. We see tears for the first few weeks, but by the end of that time, the kids are adjusted and having a great time at school.
Preschool is a fantastic privilege for kids. They experience so many things to start off their school journey. Keep him in the program!! It will all work out. :)
It's only day 3!!! He will not cry forever - promise. I bet once you're out the door and gone he calms down. At 2 and a half my daughter screamed in sunday school for the entire 90 minutes - for the first 2 times. Once she realized I would come back and her crying didn't stop me from bringing her the crying slowed down and came to a stop.
They also go through stages - so he may be in the midst of some developmental surge - maybe he's learned cause & effect - that you'll feel bad and maybe stay if he keeps crying... But I would be willing to bet $20 that by next week his tears will ahve stopped by the time you're out of the parking lot.
I bet it's because of the time of day. A kid that age still needs a nap every single day. So, by 1 pm he is ready, actually probably BEYOND ready, to have a nap and recharge. Naps are NOT negotiable at 3 and I hate that any school would be so unsound in developmental practices. Naps are like oil changes for a kid. Your car can miss the oil change by a bit, or every now and then, and you won't notice the issues, but take them away altogether and the car will quit working.
The alternative should be a nice, quiet, dark room to nap in. OR extending his night time sleep so he is getting 15 hours (which doesn't solve the recharging portion of why naps are needed, but will help some) or having him have a nap from 10:45 - 12:15 (doubt that would work but worth a shot).
I'm sorry to be so blunt but that is the problem. SO if you reject my solution expect the crying to go on at least 3 weeks while he adjusts to be sleep deprived. And if you have ever been sleep deprived by hours every day you surely know that your brain didn't function as well.... I'll let you draw that logical conclusion there.
Our daughter started preschool at age 3, right after her birthday. My husband was in charge of drop off and it was horrible for 3 months he says. By the time I picked her up 4 hours later, she was 100% fine. The teachers told me that once dad was gone, she was be fine. How is your son doing AFTER drop off and the rest of the day? I think you're just going to have to tough this one out. And it may very well take a few months. But bottom line: HE'LL BE FINE! Just hang in there. It will get better!
Find out from the teacher how he is the rest of the day. Chances are, he's adjusting after the first 5 minutes, and he's fine.
Dropping off at lunch might be tricky - lots of kids, not much activity. Does he have a lunch buddy? Can the teacher facilitate having him sit with a new friend, and get to know them? This might make him feel more immediately welcome at lunchtime dropoff. Also, make sure the teachers are greeting the kids by name and with a smile. Having a teacher happy to see him is welcoming, and friendly. At 3, kids mirror the emotions of their surroundings, if he doesn't find a welcoming face, happy to see him, I can see why sitting down to have lunch would be a lonely, sad prospect!
I think it's just a phase that kids go through about 2.5 and 3. Also, with a sibling on the way, he may be regressing a lot, needing some extra time with Mom. Our son was ok by 3, but his class at 2.5 years - he cried every day at morning drop off for nearly a month. And it was at a preschool he'd been at for 2 years already, so inexplicable. But by the time I made it to my car, and did a drive by the playground to spy on them, he was fine - playing with the other kids, having a great time. Hang in there, and he'll adjust to his new routine. Spend some extra one-on-one time with him in the morning or evenings at home to help him cope with the big changes in his life.
