My 3.5 year old daughter has been potty trained for a year and a half and never had a problem going to the bathroom on her own until now. Ever since Halloween last year, she's been afraid there are "witches and monsters" in the bathroom. Apparently some kid at daycare told her that. We were able to convince her otherwise back then and now it came back within the last month. She switched daycares back in December but we suspect there is a bully at the new daycare that has scared her again. She's had accidents at school during naptime because she is afraid to use the bathroom and holds it all day (but apparently loses control while she's sleeping). My husband and I have told her (like we did in the Fall) that those things are pretend and not real but it's not working this time. She simply says "I'm just pretending they're in there, but I still want you to come with me." She's also refusing to sleep in her bed alone for the same reason. She will sleep in there if one of us sleeps with her but prefers to go to bed with us. HELP!!!
Thanks for all your help! The spray is a success so far. As far as the bullying goes, the school knows about it and admitted to complaints about this child from other kids as well but doesn't seem to be doing much about it. My daughter finally got tired of it and bit the bully yesterday (oh my). This is certainly not a behavior that my daughter has EVER displayed. My husband and I are discussing other places to bring her for daycare. ...Thanks again!
Hi B.,
I see everyone else is giving the same idea I was thinking of "monster spray". We had to use this also, we used febreze, it made the room smell good and got rid of the monsters.
Hi B., I've heard about having a spray bottle of water that you can add some of your perfume or body spray to (something she is used to) and you spray it around her bed at night and in the bathroom and you can tell her it's Witch spray that will keep away the bad people. I've heard this works wonders! You can also add a drop or two of food coloring to it to make it pretty. It's not suppose to hurt your carpet or anything. But i'd try it out first. Sorry to hear about those bully's at school, I hate that! But it's all over. Good luck with your daughter!
Hi, B.. You have a very stressful situation! Do the daycare adults go into the bathroom with her? I know there are some rules that don't allow that, but if they can't, maybe they can stand outside the bathroom for her security. I have heard of using a spray bottle with water to spray if your daughter thinks she sees a monster or witch. Or go and spray her room with her before bed to chase away what she is scared of. Tell her like the witch on Wizard of Oz they melt when the water is sprayed, so they are scared of water. I am sure this is just a phase your daughter is going through. If you think that she is trying to be in control by making you be with her in the bathroom and at night, then you might try this at bedtime : putting a timer in her bedroom and sit with her for 20 minutes- next 15 minutes -so on until she gets used to being in there alone. Put the spray bottle by her bed if she needs it. It is possible that she is having some regression because of the new baby. It is very common, especially the accidents. She may like the extra "cuddle time" at night, too. If this is the case, try the spray bottle technique and spend the extra time to go through her room at night checking for monsters- maybe give her something of yours to sleep with, and hang in there! My son has always given me problems at night and he is 8! I feel for you and hope this advice might help! K.
A little about me:
I have to children ages 2 and 8. I have worked with children of all ages for over 20 years. Right now, I am working with preschool age children.
B., First of all have you discussed your suspisions about a bullie and the daycare with her teacher? She is obviously a sensitive child and they should not be allowing any child to use that against her! I would suggest a nightly ritual of looking in closets and under the bed with all lights on to show her everything is as it should be. I would keep your attitude light and playful while doing that. Try the same when entering a public restroom.
Good Luck, M.
My son went (kind of still going) through the same thing except it wasn't necessarily bathrooms, but just dark places in general and sleeping in his room. We took a spray bottle and put water in it and told him it was "Monster Spray" and we also gave him his very own flashlight and told him that monsters didn't like the light. It seem to work more because he was excited about spraying things. We also found books that helped portray monsters in a funny way. I also told him that Elmo and Zoe were actually monsters and see how scary they were. It's a work in progress, but I think scolding or punishing might be counter-productive only because their fears are genuine and fear is so hard to overcome even with adults.
Good luck
i made "monster spay, too. i had the boys help me make it.we put a couple of marbles and smelly stuff in the spayer to help make some noise to get the monster's attention. and i did the same as one other mom said, i walked aroud like a peacock and yelled at all the monsters that they had better not bother my boys after i leave cuz i'll put the mama whoopin' on 'em!!
I don't know if you use videos much in your home or not, but the very first Veggie Tale...."where's God when I'm scared?" is designed to help kids with the whole "monsters in my closet" issue. My daughter is 3 1/2 yrs old and sometimes at night she'll tell me that she's afraid of monsters in her closet and want me to pray for her. I be sure to tell her there are no monsters there and we do pray and remind her that God is bigger than anything. It's not exactly the same, but it may help out some if it's just her imagination, not a bully.
Hi Becky, our 3 yo grandson all of a sudden decided there were monsters in his room. He stays with me during the day and not day care. He does ok at nap time, just at night. So his momma and daddy have a spray bottle of water and a little fabreeze in it. Dadddy (our son) is a big guy and at first he pretended to scare the monsters out and tell them not to bother our little guy. That went ok for a while and he would laugh at dad's anttic's. Now they use the water bottle and spray under the bed or closet with what they call Monster B Gone. They only have to spray every once in a while now.
They never watch freaky movies, or monster stuff on tv.
Of course they told him the same as you told your precious daughter, it's all pretend and there is no such thing as monsters. In a way this affrims there are since they spray the room, but it sure makes him feel better and sleep well.
Check with her day care provider also and see what is happening there, let her know what your daughters fears are now and maybe she can help her feel more comfortable.
Best of everything B., hang in there. These little people are precious to us all.
K.
PS when shopping now their bathrooms sometimes have the automatic flush, that scares some children really bad. At the Zoo a little girl about 2 and a half screamed to high heaven when her momm tried to get her to go. That's why, when shopping they went potty and it flushed before she was done and scared her, thought it was going to get her.
Irrational fears are irrational. Sometimes it's hard to give them up. I'm not sure about the fear of bathrooms, but I know my son suddenly became afraid to go to sleep. I think he had had a nightmare. I had been to Minnesota and bought a native american dream catcher. I told him what it was and hung it over his bed. He never had trouble sleeping again. They are simple to make. It's worth a try.
Maybe do an "incantation" over your daughter and tell her she is now untouchable by witches and monsters. Too keep the protection strong, she has to use the bathroom regularly. yeah it a story (lie) but I feel it is about as "wrong" as Santa.
If your daughter is being bullied, you better deal with it now, because it only gets worse through high school. Ask her why she feels like this kid is worth listening to - because he is bigger? smarter? If that's the case, she should check his info with an adult( preferably parent or teacher) who is definitely bigger and smarter.
I would take her out of daycare and hire a private sitter. Trust me, I worked in one. Secondly, the ones who scared easily were the ones who would hold it all day.
Hi,
This is what worked for alot of little ones that I know of.
Get a spray bottle fill it with plain water and squirt it in the room and under the bed or where needed. Tell her it is monster be gone spray.
Hope it works for you.
D.
Not sure if this will work for you or not, but they used to have "Monster Spray" at Target. I'm sure they have it other places too, but what I had gotten years ago was a bubble gum scented spray...Guarenteed to keep away monster, witches, goblins, and other scary creatures...For us we used it every night at bed time and sprayed it under the beds and closets... You could also make your own spray with essential oils...find something relaxing like lavender...tell her you found the recipe online or something....Good luck. This phase will pass soon.
