I have one daughter who is almost three and we are pregnant with a baby boy due in July. When we registered for our daughter we got all gender neutral things so that they could be used for multiple children. The only things that weren't neutral were clothes and blankets. People keep asking me if I'm going to have a shower for this baby and my initial responses have all been no. I really don't need anything and the few things I do need I can get them myself. I don't even need diapers as we cloth diapered my first and can use the same diapers. That being said a few family members are insisting that we do a shower. I really don't want to be tacky but I don't want to cause issues with the in laws (the ones insisting on the shower). Is it terribly tacky to go ahead with a shower but only ask for baby clothes? I truly don't need any of the bigger items. All of our things are still in great condition from our daughter.
Congrats! Nothing tacky about a second baby shower. Ask them to call it a "sprinkle" shower. No big items, just specific needed items like :
clothes
cloth diapers
gift cards etc.
Good luck!
It is fun to recognize and celebrate the birth of any baby. If someone wants to host a shower go and enjoy it. Ask that the focus be on the celebration and not the gifts. If family wants to host a shower, let them!
Tell your in-laws you are going to have a "Meet the Baby" party. If they want to buy things then, that's the perfect time! If they want to host the party, then all the better!
A shower is asking for gifts, which is why it's considered tacky to have one for the second child. It's assumed that you are able to provide for your second child.
Your In-Laws may not think it's tacky, but the other guests you invite will! A Meet the Baby party is not tacky, and those who want to bring gifts will.
Hey Zelda. I never heard that second showers were considered tacky until I came on this site. I say each baby deserves a shower. Make sure that the food is great and the guests won't mind that you are being specific in your gift desires.
Best wishes.
I agree with Jessica Wessica in that it's only tacky if you plan it yourself! If someone else wants to do it for you then be gracious and have fun! Let them worry about the details! I'm sure that most people you invite, and it will likely be a smaller crowd, will know you and your situation well and know that you'd prefer clothes (and maybe bath supplies?).
Bottom line, let it happen! :)
You're not doing the baby shower, the in-laws are. Give them your guest list, they handle it all, you sit back and enjoy the attention. You doing your own shower, ever, would be tacky ;)
Congratulations!
I wouldnt do a shower and certainly not specify what u want for gifts but when u have the baby and people come visit him in first 2 mos or so, they will bring clothes. Good luck w baby!
I think that you should tell them that you have everything. It is fine for them to give the baby a gift but you don't need anything.
It's hard of course because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
This is what I'd do. I'd tell them that you don't need a shower but if they insist it can only be that family. That the other family is not going to be part of it. That they are planning on giving the baby gifts after they get here.
I would be in a quandary too. Do you insult them by saying no way to a baby shower? Or do you let them do one and the people who think it's tacky look at you with pity? It's a hard situation to be in. I'd probably let them do it just to make them happy. I'd be pretty vocal about it though that we didn't really need anything but they were just so happy about the baby they couldn't resist the party.
If your family would love to throw you a shower, then let them. Stress to the shower host that you're comfortable w/ a sprinkle only since you have the big stuff already. There is nothing wrong with celebrating a baby. I don't care if it's your first or second. If it were me, I'd keep the guest count very intimate. Congratulations on your new baby!
Have the shower :). Register for clothes or whatever you want or skip registering at all. I had showers for all, and even ended up with 2 showers for my third baby, but I didn't register with him. Congratulations :)
I think you should say yes to the shower but stress that you are accepting more as a celebration of your baby. Tell the hosts that you don't need the big stuff and plan to use cloth diapers (that you already have). They can in turn be prepared when guests ask what you need.
Do a meet the baby party.
Yes, it's "terribly tacky" to ask for anything, especially when you don't need others to step in and buy it for you.
They can't make you have a shower. If they want to throw a party, and you're up for it, then enjoy. Were they around for the first baby shower? That's their one bite at the apple. It's not their call.
Congratulations on your baby!!
You only get to have a shower with ANY baby if someone else throws one for you. When people ask you if you're having a shower for baby number two, I would respond with, "It's rude to plan your own baby shower, especially for a second baby and especially when we still have all of our baby things from our first baby."
My second shower (girl, 1st was boy) was thrown only by/for family. I didn't register for anything, and mostly got clothes anyway (even though I didn't ask for them). I also got baby toiletries which were needed. Just tell them what you need! Nothing wrong with that.
I was in your situation, reversed on gender. A friend wanted to throw a shower, which I guess was what people below have called a "sprinkle" (I love that) -- just four of us and my mom spent the morning by a resort pool, had brunch, and got massages. A couple gifts, but it was really more about taking a little time out to enjoy each other. I also did register, because there were some specific things we knew we'd buy (like bedding for her room, sleepers rather than dresses) and we'd rather people get those than something we didn't really need (we have enough clutter as it is!)
Have someone do a "sprinkle." That is a very very small shower. Maybe 10 people and just a small token gift. You said you have everything and this is your second child, so a shower really not appropriate.or better yet, have a little gathering after baby is born.
I felt the same way as you. I had a 2 year old daughter and was welcoming a son. There were a few things I needed but could have bought what I needed. My friends insisted on throwing me a "sprinkle" not a full shower just a sprinkle. It basically all consisted of us going out to lunch and we had a cake etc. My Mom was there and it was small and quaint. I am now so glad we did it. I received a lot of very special things for my son including, blankets, clothes etc. It was the first time he had his own special day. Even though he was in the womb it was a day for him. Just like my daughter had. The shower isn't really for you but for him. Now he has a few of his own special blankets from close friends that aren't just recycled from his big sister. I can now say, I received this at your baby shower and he has something that is his very own as a baby.
i love the idea of a "meet the baby" party. if i was in your situation, i would do that.
i am somewhat on the fence about S. showers! my son is 6 1/2 - AND we went through a fire when he was 2. so personally (even though my mom has mentioned a few times that she hates S. showers) i would be pretty grateful if it was my turn....BUT on the other hand - i am now 35, so if i had a baby at this point i feel like as an adult making conscious choices, I should be responsible for providing for a baby if i chose to have another. that's not to say i'd turn one down if it was offered...*sigh*...as i said...on the fence.
i would LOVE the idea of a "welcome baby" party, after he/she is born. to me it's the best of both worlds. IF people really wanted to bring a gift, they could at that time. but you could still word it so that it's clear that it's not expected. also, you know people - if they truly want to help with big ticket items, they will. at least in my family lol. shower or no shower!
Congratulations!
We were in exactly the same situation. Graciously accept their offer, but ask that it be kept very small and limited to family and very close friends only. My MIL insisted on throwing a shower for my daughter and we really needed VERY little (just girl clothing and bath stuff).
What she did was actually adorable and a lot of fun! She invited our families over for a BBQ & Baby party (didn't even call it a shower). My parents flew in from FL (we were in NY at the time) and several of my cousins came. My husband's whole family was there. She invited our best "family friends" and that was it. It was a backyard BBQ to celebrate our growing family. No mention of gifts on the invite, although people brought gifts. There was great food, cake and backyard games. At one point the ladies went inside and I opened the gifts. The men and kids continued their touch football game. It was a blast and perfect for a second child.
Limiting the guest list was critical for this to be "laid back" and "family focused".
I have attended several "meet the baby" parties and those are fun as well. Typically they are hosted a month or so after the baby is born- tea, coffee, wine and desserts seem to be standards. The baby is there and guests stop in to meet the baby and see the mommy- 99% of people bring a gift as well, but it's not necessary.
If you really don't want one, no means no. If you do want one, I would stick to a very small guest list!
