2.5 Year Old Daughter Suddenly Afraid of All Kids and People

Something has to have triggered it.

A similar incident happened with our 2-year-old with "public" eating. We threw a party at our home for my mother's birthday last year, and it was the first time my daughter met my mother's new boyfriend. It was a brunch-time party and everyone was eating. It was December and the Christmas tree was up. Our daughter would take food from her plate, leave the table, go behind the tree, eat, and repeat. We didn't think much of it - maybe some shyness around the new guy.

Her behavior continued for some time. In public, she would insist on hiding under the table to eat and would not allow people to watch her eat anything. Even at home, if we had guests she would continue this odd behavior.

She has since grown out of the weird-secret-eating-stage thank goodness, and has also grown quite close to my mother's boyfriend who was the only new face at the party at the time. He is such a great man but I think he scared her upon meeting. He wore a hat the whole time, and he was sort of loud and goofy.

I think it was something to do with a sudden change in the home environment (the big party) and the added factor of a new visitor in the mix.

I know this is not as helpful as I had intended it to be, and I apologize!

Has your daughter been around her aunt's house a lot? Has she been around the husband much?

Strange males can be scary to little ones. Certain ones just have something about them that freaks kids out. Voice too deep and booming, dark facial hair, got too close too soon for her liking? Who knows.

As some other moms said it could be what your her aunt suggested. Has she been left with anyone other then yourself? The issue is with other children...that seems odd to me. Is she in daycare? Could it have happened there, if it did happen?

Try helping her through the fear. get down on her level and softly hold her and calm her. 'Shh, yes baby I see you're scare it's alright stay here and watch with me. Oh, look at that. See that little boy on the swings, doesn't that look fun? Would you like to go play on the swing too? I can push you, I'll be close by."

Once she's comfortable again ask her gently what was wrong. Being nearly 3 she might be able to tell you, depending on her communication level. "There wasn't that fun? What where you so scared, Sweety?"

Good luck.

At two and a half, it sounds like a stage. I have four girls, and it just sounds like a stage to me. I would try and not over-do the attention you give her when she freaks out like that. And, BTW, MOST things are "intense" in our household as far as reactions, and drama is concerned- over the SMALLEST, NON-EXISTENT things...SO, the "intense" description does not concern me.

I'd just calmly say, "Everything is okay right now." "I am right here." Later, when she isn't freaking out I'd ask her why she is scared of ____. Then, I'd just talk to her about it. I'd also assure her to tell me if something ever happens, but if nothing is happening, I'd tell her something like, "YOU may scare other kids with your loud reactions when they just want to play. If there is ever a problem, you can always come to me. Only scream when you need to, but you can always talk!"

Also, before going to the playground, I would take her if beforehand she says she won't scream or freak out. I will explain that it isn't nice to do that, and people go to a playground to have fun and not to hear her freak out. If she is nervous about going, then I would not take her and wait until the stage is over

...This is all under the assumption it is a stage... IF, when you talk to her or find out otherwise that something happened, then obviously you would do things differently.

Also, I was molested several times as a child- it started when I was about 2 or 3. My "natural" (I used quotes because I STILL don't know what I would have been like if I hadn't been molested- I'm a very out-going adult) shyness kept me from telling anyone, and my VERY close-minded Mom also caused it so I could not open up to her... about anything. She was also overly sentimental, so just too hard to talk to. I eventually said something when I was 25.

My daughter started doing this around that age, but it was mostly with men. We once had to leave a restaurant because a very large man with a beard and mustache was sitting at the bar and she was freaked out. He wasn't even looking our way, but she just didn't like him. She eventually grew out of that, but she is still very reserved with people she doesn't know, which is fine with me!

Two yr olds have rapid changes in how they react to stuff in general.
Don't analyze it too hard unless you do suspect something.

I think you should look into that. There are proffessionals who know about that sort of thing. Ask her. But I know thaty 2.5 years old don't know how to answer questions and all. I suggest you look into it and get some serious help. Because if something did happen to her, you need to get her help.