Hi, everyone - hoping for some help on this issue. 2 weeks ago, all of a sudden, my DD decided she no longer wanted be in her crib or go to sleep at all. She easily climbs out of the crib (before I make it to the door of her room she's out of the crib and it's not a big room). So, we took the mattress out and placed it on the floor. We've now converted the crib into a toddler bed, which she loves (she was very excited to help us put it together) - but we are still having issues. She went from putting herself to sleep by 7 (her choice) and sleeping all night, to me having to sit at her bed to make sure she goes to bed for her to sleep just a few hours before waking up and tossing and turning the rest of the night. She literally vibrates with energy even at 9pm, like she's trying to go to sleep (rubbing her eyes, putting her head on the pillow, etc) but then within seconds is moving again. It takes forever for her to finally exhaust herself out enough to fall asleep. I tried sitting by her bed, patting her, trying to hold her from moving too much by laying next her, I've even tried letting her CIO but she can now open the bedroom door and climb over the gate (it took her two days to learn to climb it) in mere seconds and she just comes and finds us. I've resorted to having to stay in her room until she falls asleep, and then taking her in bed with me when she wakes up (she'll go back to her bed, but she's so restless that any time I try to leave she wakes up and it starts all over again). I work as a full time consultant so I can't keep going to work so tired and out of it, but I don't want to keep doing this as I know it's a bad habit - HELP!
Additional info:
1. She isn't running a temp or seems sick
2. She did cut a tooth last weekend, but things like teething tablets, orajel, tylenol, etc have made no difference
3. She seems extremely attached to me lately, always needing to be near me but hasn't had any issue going to her grandparents for babysitting, or to school, or showing any other signs of seperation anxiety - in fact, she runs screaming with glee "yaaaaayyyyyyyy!" into the classroom.
4. Daycare has expressed how difficult it is to get her down for a nap as well
So - after about 2 weeks she is finally starting to settle in, although she is still having issues falling asleep. The culprit - she's gotten 3 teeth in 1 week (yikes) and has 4 more on the way (double yikes). Now that I know the other areas to hit with the orajel, she is settling down a little easier (we are down to 30 min instead of 2 hrs the first few nights) and is now starting to be more comfortable with me just sitting in the room instead of having to have me touching her constantly. When she wakes up in the middle of the night, she does call for me from her room but will quickly get back to bed and will fall asleep with a quick drink and a couple of pats on the back. As the pain seems to lessen and the routine becomes familiar, she does seem to be falling back into her regular sleep patterns (last night she was pulling me up to her bed, signing for sleep at 7.30pm) and last night she slept the longest since this whole thing started. Thanks for all of the support!
Put a gate across her doorway. Put her to bed a little later than 7. Good night routine (brush teeth, story, hugs) night night light of and don't do the sitting by the bed thing. If she climbs the gate a crack on the behind will put a stop to that. Sounds like she's getting to much sleep. Get her up early, short nap and bed about 8. She is hitting the age where she wants to control things.
My son has been a terrible sleeper...and this behavior started with him at the same age.
After 2+ years of this (we resorted to locking him in his room at that age)...when the door locking no longer worked (he could jimmy it open)...we wound up at a sleep consultant.
She had us totally revamp his bedtime routine. No sugar after dinner, no TV after dinner, only books before bed. And last..be firm.
I will tell you, from experience, that anything YOU do to get her down will instantly create a crutch...like how you lay down with her. Unless you want to do that for the next few years (my son is now 5, and we JUST broke this habit)...stop it now.
She encouraged silently walking her back to bed whenever she gets up. No interaction at all. And if you need to install a gate or lock her door on the outside in order for her to associate night time with staying in her room...do it.
The new routine took about a week for us all to adjust to, and then it worked.
Good luck, I 100% know how frustrated you are.
Turn the doorknob around so you can lock it from the outside.
Get some doorknob protectors. They take a while to get used to for the adults but she is at risk of getting into your bathroom and drowning in the toilet. She is very top heavy and her neck muscles are just NOT strong enough to pull her head out if she topples in while playing in the water.
She will not be able to get out of her room if the door is not accessible to her because the doorknob is covered. You'll be able to open it easily but she won't. Until she learns that her body weight swinging on the knob will made the rubber balls inside make contact and turn the knob.
Haven't done this yet personally, nonetheless, I've got a few suggestions-
1. you might shift your goal from getting her to sleep to getting her to remain in her bed/ room. Let her read books/ sing to herself/ play with her stuffed animals until sleep happens, so long as she does it in the safety of her room.
2. you might clock what time she actually goes to sleep, say its 9. For a few nights in a row, don't put her to bed until 9:30. By that point, she should probably be good and ready to fall asleep quickly. After a week in which she falls asleep quickly at 9:30, slowly push her bedtime back by 15 minute increments every other night to whatever time you are comfortable with.
3. some people I know have taken down the bedroom door and installed a sturdy screen door instead, with a hook and eye closure on the outside. You can see in, she can see out, but there's no climbing.
Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.
Your daughter needs you to be strong for her.
Keep the house quiet during bath and bed.. No loud tv, no phone calls etc.. Make the rest of the house seem like nothing is going on..
Bathe her calmly, using lots of strong rubs and wipes.. Carry her to her darkened, dim quit room..maybe some quiet music or a sound machine.. Dry her off with strong strokes almost like a massage.. No horse play.
Pjs..read a book, but do not engage her..do not ask her questions.. Maybe keep your hand on her while you read slower and slower towards the end of the book..
Then a soft kiss and tell her. It is times to sleep.. Close her door make sure you have knob covers on it so she cannot get out..
If she plays or falls asleep on the floor..that is fine.. She can cry for 10 minutes. And the you can quietly check on her if she is still crying.. Do not speak to her. Do not engage her..
All of the things you describe are normal behavior even if this was not a change in her bed time.. Stay strong and she will be fine.
Do not lock her in her room. Whatever routine you chose to do, be consistent. Put a mattress on the floor by your bed. She obviously needs you.
She will not be doing this in college. If you all do not get sleep, you will all be miserable. Just do what works best for you. Guess I am not much of a help. Sorry.
How often does she nap? She may need less daytime sleep.
Also look at her diet, some foods can cause restlessness anything new would be the most likely culprit.
Two weeks is not a long time when she keeps outsmarting you, she really hasn't had to stay in her room. She's playing you, little ones are so much smarter than we give them credit for.
Get a new, higher gate, I stacked two on top of each other. It does work if they're properly installed. I then found a metal one with vertical slats that was taller than most, he couldn't climb it or hoist himself over it.
Get door knob covers, I had cheap ones that could snap apart, I taped the seams with packing tape, he couldn't open the door or snap the covers apart.
If you don't have a routine, establish one like Laurie A described. You have to set the tone, expect her to comply, and not give in, consistently. I can't say how long it will take, that depends on if you stick to it and let her know this is how it is. But I can say that routine gives little ones security, they actually want and need boundaries to be set.
First, do not worry about "bad habits." Nothing you've done so far has become a habit or you wouldn't be asking. Do what works! If you need to change something later, change it later. For now, do what works.
I sat with my kids until they fell asleep. I have a Nook that I can dim, so I sit in their and read while they fall asleep. (Well, my oldest couldn't care less that I'm there. The younger one is good most nights, but still gets up occasionally. I won't be in there much longer.)
Give her some time to get used to it. Right now she needs you. This is so new to her. Give her some time. Patty's right. She won't be doing this in college.
