Our daycare provider told us yesterday that our 21 month old son wants to be "babied" a lot. I am not sure what to make of this comment. We always give him the appropriate attention, but we never overdo it. In fact, he's never been the type that wanted to be held or carried around a lot. We have noticed, however, that he has become a bit insecure lately, getting scared when he hears an air plane or loud noises. I am wondering if is this is normal and if it is a problem that a child his age would want to be "babied" as much as he does.
Thanks everyone for the great answers. I assumed that he was going through a phase and that there is nothing "wrong" with him and now I have confirmation. Thanks again!
Thanks for the additional emails. I am, in fact, signed up at Babycenter.com, but haven't checked the site in a long time. We actually put our son on the waiting list of another daycare because we weren't terribly happy about the place he's at right now anyway. Hopefully something will open up soon. Our current daycare provider has mentioned in the past that he likes to be babied and asked if we used to carry him around a lot when he was an infant. Stupid question in my opinion, although I can understand that she does not have the capacity to hold and cuddle every single child at her daycare. Still, there should be a good balance.
are there new babies at his daycare? My daughter sometimes wants to play "baby" like "baby lukie" from daycare.
I don't mean to be overly opinionated about this, but I find it odd that they would say a child who is not yet even two years old, technically still a baby in the beginning stages of becoming a toddler, would need to be babied too much. How long will it be before he is running out the door saying "see ya mom!" Not long...trust me.
I would sit down and ask the childcare provider exactly what she is referring to with specific examples, but it smacks to me of a lack of understanding of your son. They may need some orientation from you in the best ways to meet his needs.
My friend was once told that her 4 month old son needed to be "held too much" by a daycare provider. She switched providers after that... hello - all infants want to be held!
Best to you,
D.
Please make sure your daycare provider does "baby" him! It's an important developmental phase that they really should have already known about. If they get the reassurance they are reaching out for they will be strong confident individuals.
I agree....he is getting to the age that he may be afraid of being alone.....so being babied makes him feel secure:) Glad your provider picked up on that. Extra TLC is always a plus. Maybe a mamma son evening biweekly....
we did not baby our son alot as the daycare mentioned it was bad and annoying when a kid wants to be held all the time...and we agreed. now that he is two i wish i would have held him more. anyway the only time he really wants to be held alot is when he isnt feeling well. perhaps your little one has a tummy ache, tooth, headache, ear ache you know where i am going with this. also try to expose him to all the noises and make it seem cool. such as planes drive him out to the air port and wow and aww at the coolness. also a toy airplane. i dont think its a questions of normal or not, just he isnt aware that its ok and safe and you should show him it is. good luck.
We are going through the same thing with our 20 month-old. This is the developmental time when they are seeking-out "safe" ways to be independent, which can be scary for them. With their limited vocabulary, they rely on the "tried-and-true" method of seeking out reassurance.
My son will play by himself for 10-15 minutes happily and then suddenly panic and start yelling for me (even if he can see me). The only thing that makes him feel better is a quick hug. This is very normal and will go away in the next few months. In the meantime, it's tough but remember that he is actually growing and developing a sense of himself and independence which is pretty great!
I have a 16 year old, 12 year old and 2 year old...as well have worked with children in different environments since I was 14 (36 now). Based on what you are stating and provider is telling you, I would first question and look further into on if he is in the right care for "him." Maybe a great place/facility, but what works for one child I've found definitely does not work for an other. Example: He may fair better in a small group home over daycares. Note: It would hurt to take him to the pediatrician to discuss this as well before deciding if a change is in order and to rule out anything medical first. As well accept that if a change has to be made, this too could take time to adjust to. Best Wishes.
Very unprofessional! They should not be labeling, but should instead strive to make your child feel more comfortable.
Hey.. he is a baby! He will grow out of this soon enough and you will miss an opportunity to give him that special love. Sounds like your caregiver isn't the most loving. My daughter did this until she was around 4 and now I can rarely get her to sit down for love time (she is 7 ) This is normal for them to go through stages of insecurity as they get more skills and independence. Look at Dr Brzeltons book about touchpoints and you will see how perfectly normal you little guy is. You might give a copy to the sitter too!
He IS still a baby! What's wrong with some extra TLC? He's getting to a more independent age and kids sometimes take 2 steps forward, 3 steps back.
I agree with the previous answers that there is nothing wrong with too much love (hugs and kisses). He is not even 2 years old yet and trying to make sense of a crazy, big world. Of course he needs reassurance as he navigates his way to figuring everything out. I have a 3 year old and 2 year old and what I've learned is that just when you think you've figured out what phase they're in developmentally it changes. Babycenter.com is an awesome website that will send you weekly emails about your child's development. You just sign up (it's free) how old your child is and they send an email to you every week or so. Sometimes I will be baffled about what one of my children is doing and then I'll get an email and read that they are right on track. It's really been helpful. Goodluck!
I had a daycare for 10 years and at this age children's personalities are really emerging and they "try on" many different behaviors. They are also becoming smart enough to be a little scared of scary stuff. Independence is an emerging theme at this age and they cling a little in response to their own independent measures. it is a try a little/ back off a little stage. Just don't over do your reaction to his reaction. Try to be as matter a fact as possible without letting go of the cuddling and loving! Boys, especially, ARE babies until about 4! This comment sounds a little mean spirited but it may have just come out wrong. Just keep your eyes and ears open to make sure she is not being overly critical. Some providers (and parents) are excellant with some ages but not other ages.
