21 Month Old Still Doesn't Sleep Through the Night!

If you are breastfeeding, it might be time to think about weaning. My daughter weaned from the breast at 22 months and she immediately began sleeping all through the night. Just something to consider.

Hi L.,

My daughter didn't sleep through the night until around 2 and 1/2 and she still wakes occasionally but now at 4 is able to either come to us if she's scared or put herself back to sleep. I would often sleep with her to make it easier on us both to get sleep - that way I wasn't getting up. It was a gradual process too. I rocked her as well until one day when that wasn't needed. Every child is different and they are not all supposed to "sleep through the night" - if we didn't have that expectation, I think parenting would be so much easier!

Best to you.

Hi L.. I am sure that this is not what you wanted to hear, but I agree with the Michelle. My daughter didn't sleep through until she was three. Until about 18 months she was up every 2 hours. The number of wakings then decreased, but she was awake for longer periods of time - three to four hours. The lack of sleep never affected her. She could function very well on very little sleep. Although it certainly isn't me, it is just who she is. It was as if she didn't consider sleep important; there was so much to do, and so much to learn, that sleep was a nuisance! Good luck. It will get better!

I had a similar nap experience with my son (although he transitioned around 13 months). He stopped going to sleep for his morning nap, but then he would want to nap around 11:30 and often only slept a little over an hour (a good nap was 1 1/2 hours). After a few months of this he started sleeping longer in the morning and taking his nap closer to 1pm - and now he usually sleeps at least 2 hours. So maybe try gradually pushing the nap time back?
As far as sleeping through the night, is your son able to fall asleep on his own (and go back to sleep on his own)? I really think this is the key to good sleep.

I have a son that is 2 1/2 years old and we have the same problem.....
Restly he has started sleeping in his own bed all night he will start there and would wake several times and I would be tired and just bring him to bed with me. I have stopped doing that becuase he seems to sleep better on his own.
Within the last month some nights he actally sleeps all night long and I love it.
We have changed his nap time
down time 11 to 11:30
he will only sleep for 1 hour if it is more I wake him
bed time is 8:00-8:30
some nights he wakes but that is to get a drink and he goes right back to sleep
I can handle getting him a drink and changing his diaper if need and go back to bed

I really think they will sleep through the night when they are ready

Good luck

Try changing his schedule all together. We have breakfast at 730, snack at 930, lunch at 1130. We will try to go outside for at least a walk and get some good fresh air. We also do lots of movement activities in the morning-it's really hard in the winter. Cool down is from 1230-100 and then naptime is from 100-300. They have snack after they wake up then more acitivies. Keep them busy busy busy! I would shoot for a bedtime around 8 or 830. See how that goes. I have a daycare and I have 2 that are around that age and are on the same schedule. The parents even noticed at home and asked for our daily schedule. The boys really like it. Good luck and hang in there!

My son sort of naturally made the transition from 3 to 2 naps, but when he dropped his 2nd nap at 1 1/2 years, we had all kinds of trouble. He shortened up his 1 nap and I was lucky to get 1 1/2 hours from him. And we were having trouble with him waking up too early in the AM then too. At that point, we actually tried an earlier bedtime, and after a short adjustment time, this helped alot. I never did really understand how that worked! More recently, when he was around 3, we ended up having to move his bedtime back to stop his sleep troubles. I guess his needs were just changing. I always feel like I'm experimenting and nothing ever stays the same for long. We still deal with him waking up most often once a night. Sometimes he'll sleep through, sometimes it's several times. I feel like we've tried everything and that it is just the way he is. I am not the best sleeper, but have learned to cope with it over the years. Maybe his sleeping is similar to mine, but at their ages they rely so much on us. I keep trying to tell myself to appreciate it, as someday soon they won't need us much at all:(

You do not need to still be dealing with sleepless nights. We use the book Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. She is known as the sleep lady and has been featured on Dr. Phil, Oprah, etc. As long as you follow the book and be consistent I assure it works like a charm. I would say the nap time is off it should be starting at 12:30-1:00. And the bedtime is still a tad early for that age. But trust me the book is wonderful and she has very gentle approaches, you won't have to let him cry it out. We have a 2 1/2 year old who sleeps from 8-7:30. And a 10 months old who sleeps from 7-7:30. And they both take naps from 1-3. And that is all because we sleep trained them with the book. The main thing is to read the book which is a quick read because it is broken up into sections by age and then to be consistent. You and your child both need more sleep!

My daughter didn't sleep through the night until the day (13 months) I took her crib mattress out of the crib and put in on the floor. (toddler beds weren't very popular then) I put a baby gate on her door and she and I slept GREAT every night after that!!!!! Just an idea.....

Well I think you've gotten some good advice thus far, and you are definitely not alone. I think it is NORMAL for babies/toddlers sometimes even preschoolers to have trouble sleeping through the night. There are many things that could be going on and they go through all sorts of developmental things and different stages. I think it's great you have been helping your son get back to sleep even if you are tired, he knows that you are there for him and I bet you have a great relationship.

My 21 month old is also waking up 2-4 (sometimes more if she is teething or has a tummy ache)times a night, but we co-sleep so it does make it easier on me. Most of those times she is waking to nurse back to sleep, but sometimes she is just disoriented and needs me to calm her back down to sleep. I know this wont last forever and that she will learn to sleep through and on her own when she is ready. Every child is different and some really do need less sleep than others.

My advice is to try to push that one nap back to noon or 12:30, it may make him tired enough to sleep a bit longer. It will definitely be an adjustment for him. Plus if he is getting 12 hours a sleep at night, even interrupted, he might not need that long of a nap. Also try to make sure he is not watching too much TV during the day as I think it can affect how well they sleep that night (at least I notice it in my DD when she is more wakeful and has a harder time settling down for sleep in the first place).

It might be helpful to try co-sleeping as well since you wouldn't have to get up and rock him, you could just cuddle him in bed. Or even a mattress on the floor might help him feel more secure. I think it will get better with time though, so hang in there!