I don't think you are a failure nor do I think this has much to do with the lack of male figure in the house.
I think it's the sign of the times and growing pains. Your boy is still very young. Give him a hug and let him know he's not alone and with time and patience, new doors will open for him. Suggest the importance to him to continue looking for a new job...that part of each day has to be spent on making that effort and that he should take any job for now that will hire him until he can find the one he really wants....that he must keep looking even while working as the job he really wants wont be knocking on his bedroom door. (((hopefully getting that job he really doesn't want will lift his spirits and give him the insentive to keep looking...he'll at least be making some money.))))
Keep in mind the experience although not pleasant will be good for him...make him stronger.....life after all is about growing and learning.
I think loosing a job is an ego blower for anyone...as well all of the rejection one gets in the process of trying to replace the job....at any age.. He can and will over come this if you are supportive of him through out the experience.
Sit with him, listen to his concerns and with humor, circle job adds in the paper with him. Tell him you are looking forward to hearing about the interviews.
Also suggest he go from store to store asking if they are hiring...leaving his name and phone number with the managers even if the answer he gets is NO...."Please call me when you do have an opening".
If there are any friends or realitives who own businesses....suggest he calls them asking if there are any openings for him...."NO, well thanks anyway but do keep me in mind when you do have an opening or if you hear of something in your travels."
I also think it's emportant after an interview, that your son follow up with a phone call the following week or two. Many people think because they haven't gotten that call from the company, they aren't being considered for that job....often, many times it means the company is still interviewing people or they just got to busy. A follow up call lets them know you aren't a laid back person and infact really intereted in this job.
In terms of the 4 traffic violations....remind him if he doesn't drive more responsibly he'll end up standing in front of a judge and will loose his drivers licence...making life even more difficut for him.
I would not pay the fines for him....he has made bad choices and he has to learn from them. He also has to learn that he can't continue making bad choices with the attitude..."oh well, Mom will fix it...she fixes everything". He's got to learn that he has choices and from all choices there are consequences he has to be responsible for.
Suggestion: Offer to talk to him about his choices but the bottom line is, whatever road he takes, it's his choice and he has to suffer the consequences, so he can learn from his mistakes. "Son, how are you planning to deal with this...Ya know, it's not gonna go away by itself....How about we sit and talk about your options". If it's a go, Listen to him, and then make sure he understands all the facts....then make suggestions...but let the choice be his own. In other words try to give him direction in terms of the facts but don't tell him what to do.
If he asks, "Mom what should I do"....Tell him, You can tell him what you think but you can't tell you what to do and then ask him if he's interested in what you think and if's its a go...talk to him in a loving, respective way....
Not easy to be a Mom...but do stand strong and hang in there.