20 Mo Old Tantrums, Whining, Hitting and the Ups

Updated on March 31, 2007
D.F. asks from New Britain, CT
4 answers

My son is almost 20 months old. He is a wonderful little boy. He gives everyone hugs and kisses and tells you he loves you all the time. He loves to read and sing and dance. Recently though he is going through a phase ( I hope its a phase) where all he wants is to be picked up. He whines constantly and it is getting so annoying, my ears literally hurt. I have tried ignoring it and saying that whining hurts my ears and when asking him to say it in a nice voice so mommy can hear it. Also, lately whenever he is not allowed to do something, or doesn't get what he wants (I never say no, but instead give an alternative or a couple of other options- spinning things positively) he melts down to a puddle of mush, kicking, screaming and having a full out tantrum. I have tried letting him tantrum, seeing that he probably needs to get something out, and making sure he knows that I am around when he is ready to play nicely, talk nicely, etc. I also have a home daycare, and he sometimes will hit another child for no reason. I think it is to exert some power or to get attention from me. When he hits, I move him away from the other child, telling him that hitting hurts so an so and it is not how we treat our friends. We give hugs and kisses. He will usually go and give the child a hug and a kiss and apologize. He had gone through a hitting phase with me and my husband, but we used this technique as well as putting him down and not playing with him for a minute and it worked pretty well. These things are getting on my nerves and I want my sweet baby back! It all seemed to start a week or two ago, he had a really bad ear infection and of course he got a lot of attention and was whining and such because of the pain. I just feel like he is so unruly all of a sudden and he seems so unhappy most of the day. Any suggestions, and will this pass?

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So What Happened?

I feel like the worst mother in the world right now. We took my son to the Dr today because he had an awful night sleeping and suspected another ear infection. Well, ends up he has a bulging blister on his ear drum. He has apparently had this ongoing instead of 3 separate ones from January. We have been treating them with stronger antibiotics, but nothing took. So he got an antibiotic shot and an oral med and we have to see and ENT tomorrow. I feel so bad that I have been brushing off his moods as tantrums and whining, when he was trying to tell me he hurt. I never thought that since he was resistent to the meds. Thanks for the advice thoguh, since it will come in handy if the hitting kicking and such continue after the ear is fixed.

More Answers

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E.G.

answers from Albany on

Hi D.,
My son just turned 2 and he has been hitting and kicking as well. I just spoke to my pediatrician about it and he said when he hits someone to get down at his level and hold his hands together in front of him and tell him very firmly that we do not hit it is not allowed, and if he kicks do the same thing only with his feet. Obviously you don't hold him hard enough to hurt him. I have been using it and it seems to work, he is hitting less and less. He also said that he only gets one warning, if you tell him not to hit and he does it again immediately then he gets a time out. Hope this helps, I feel your frustration!

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J.B.

answers from Scranton on

Hugs mama. It sounds like you've been doing a wonderful job. It's so hard when they can't tell us exactly what's going on.

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J.L.

answers from Scranton on

I just wanted you to know that I too am going through the same tantrums. My daughter is 22 mos and she started about a month ago, I am very frustrated too. I think it's the age, but since she is my first I have nothing to compare her too. Good luck, I hope you get the advise you need.

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J.D.

answers from Burlington on

My son went through a similar phase, we told him the same things and eventually one day it all sank in....he still slips up occasionally but he is still just going on 3. It may also be that your sons ear infection came back and he is just hurting again. My son had an ear infection so bad that it took 2 prescriptions to finally get rid of it. Good luck with the munchkin..
-J.

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