C.D.
I agree with you, the cry it out method is not working. I have yet to witness it ever having good short or long term results and I can't imagine why it would ever work. I think you need to try something out-of-the-ordinary and that is to start transitioning her to a "big girl bed". It certainly sounds like she is ready. The method is simple: set up a big enough mattress/futon on the floor of her bedroom and fall asleep with her and her baby brother, family bed style. When you have to get up in the middle of the night (which we all have to do anyhow when our babes are 8 months old), climb back into your old bed and put the baby in his crib. The trick is to keep your daughter tucked into that bed and content, and when she wakes up in the morning she will have had a good night's sleep where she could stretch out and have plenty of room. The day she gets to join you in making a big fuss over a big girl bed for just herself to use will be a confidence booster for her and you and everyone else will be able to be back in their own beds for good. I think she's just making a big fuss because right now over sleep because she needs more security in her routine, and you yourself with your mothering instincts are naturally equipped to provide that. Good luck and I hope you all get some good sleep real soon.