2 Yr Old Not Taking Naps, Laying down Nicely

Updated on January 06, 2009
J.M. asks from Beloit, WI
6 answers

I'm having problems getting my 2 yr old daughter to take naps. She used to be awesome at taking naps, but for the last 2 months she stays in her crib and for the most part will talk and play or read quietly and then eventually fall asleep. Other times, she doesn't sleep. So, she goes about 2 days and then finally crashes. But, you can tell she needs a nap everyday. She has to keep the door open which can cause a problem when the other children are napping and she does not stay quiet. She will cry, scream, bang her feet against the wall, and jump up and down in her crib, plus other things. We don't know what to do. Letting her "cry" it out obviously is not working. She keeps her baby brother up, along with the baby boy I watch during the day. She shares her room with her 8 mth old brother. If she is not asleep we can't lay him down because she keeps him up and then proceeds to scream louder then he is crying. (For the first month, after we moved her brother in her room, she was great and would stay quiet.) Which is affecting our teaching of our baby boy to fall asleep on his own. Any help with this would be great! We were thinking of putting her in a toddler bed soon but would like to figure this out first. (She has been throwing her one leg over the top railing, which is why we are thinking of moving her into a toddler bed. We don't want her hurting herself trying to get out of her crib.)Any ideas of how we can get her to lay down nicely would be appreciated and also how we can get her to actually sleep. Thank you for your help and advice in advance.

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C.D.

answers from La Crosse on

I agree with you, the cry it out method is not working. I have yet to witness it ever having good short or long term results and I can't imagine why it would ever work. I think you need to try something out-of-the-ordinary and that is to start transitioning her to a "big girl bed". It certainly sounds like she is ready. The method is simple: set up a big enough mattress/futon on the floor of her bedroom and fall asleep with her and her baby brother, family bed style. When you have to get up in the middle of the night (which we all have to do anyhow when our babes are 8 months old), climb back into your old bed and put the baby in his crib. The trick is to keep your daughter tucked into that bed and content, and when she wakes up in the morning she will have had a good night's sleep where she could stretch out and have plenty of room. The day she gets to join you in making a big fuss over a big girl bed for just herself to use will be a confidence booster for her and you and everyone else will be able to be back in their own beds for good. I think she's just making a big fuss because right now over sleep because she needs more security in her routine, and you yourself with your mothering instincts are naturally equipped to provide that. Good luck and I hope you all get some good sleep real soon.

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would skip the nap and start putting her to bed a little earlier in the evening. If she needed a nap, she'd be falling asleep. She might be cranky for a few days while adjusting to this new schedule, but it might suit her just fine.

My son just turned 1, and he naps anywhere from not-at-all to 2 hours in the early afternoon. I don't expect him to be napping when he is 2 years old. The days he doesn't nap, we put him to bed a little early.

You can, of course, still enforce a "quiet time". Tell her she can lay and look at books or watch a DVD (or whatever you find acceptable) but she has to be quiet for x amount of time.

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K.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

We had a similar problem with getting our boys to sleep. One day I got so frustrated with his (lack of) napping I put him in his crib, told him to go to sleep or he will lose his lovey, then I left the room. Sure enough he got up and was jumping and laughing in the crib a few minutes later. I went back in the room and took out all loveys and told him to sleep. He cried and I ignored him until he fell asleep (about 30 minutes). I was so frustrated at the time that I didn't care. Now, however, when I threaten to take away the lovey, they both lay down and go to sleep.

I don't know if this will help with your situation, but it surprisingly has worked for us. I think the key is finding the "nitch" that will get them to listen, whatever it is with your daughter.

Good luck!

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L.S.

answers from Lincoln on

This sounds a lot like my son (also 2) was about 6 months ago. We started having him lay on the couch to watch cartoons. We turn the volume on the TV way down (so he has to be quiet to hear it). Then if he goes to get up or won't be quiet...I tell him that he has to lay down and be quiet or he will have to go to bed. THis has worked great for us. He is usually very cooperative and falls asleep within 20 min. It is worth a try. Good luck

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K.L.

answers from Madison on

Wish there was a magic pill or something. My 2 year old does this too. I've had to just let him talk until he sleeps or if it last past an hour I rock him or lay with him (sometimes) - that can and did become a bad habit which has been stopped however. It has gotten better, but it took time. I think sometimes I missed the "ideal" going to sleep window and that is why he had trouble. Time is the out of doors in the am also seems to improve naptime. We go outside to play most mornings unless the wind chill is ridiculous.

Your situation is more challenging because of the other children. Can your daughter do quiet time in your bedroom or somewhere else? All the best. It can get so frustrating at times. Hopefully some more moms with multiple kids have better ideas.

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E.W.

answers from Milwaukee on

I have recently been through this situation with my DD, who just turned 3. The first thing I discovered was trying to force the issue really backfired and got me very angry and caused a lot of screaming, which is not what you need! So, I started talking about quiet time and for a few weeks there my DD would not take a nap every day, but play in her room quietly instead. This made me very nervous honestly because I did not feel she is ready to give up naps entirely at all, but was not sure what else to do. Well, every day I would still go through the same naptime routine and lay her down and I also started giving her books to read in bed and telling her, "just read for a little while and if you get tired then you can close you eyes." Some days she would nap and others she would climb right out of the bed and start playing.

The good news is that for whatever reason, now she is back to napping almost every day with little issue so it seemed that she was just asserting her independence and needed to compromise. Now I use a LOT of praise and positive reinforcement, "Mommy will be so proud of you if you take a good nap today," "Don't you feel so much better now honey that you take a good nap," and this really works for her, every day she tells me, "Today I will take a good nap for you Mommy!"

Hang in there, try different things, but be flexible. Good luck!

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