2 Year Old with an Attitude

Hate to say but this is normal.But dont let her win.Remeber who is in control dont let a 2 yr control you.

Get the book -- Happiest Toddler on the Block. It has some fantastic techniques. There's a dvd as well and that might be good for you right now. Most libraries carry the book and they are the best. The book helps you understand your toddler better and gives you techniques to deal with their behavior.

One thing to remember is that this is a developmental phase and she (and you) will get through it. It just seems so rough when you're in the thick of it.

Since your pregnant, you might also check out -- Happiest Baby on the Block. It's equally as good.

Good luck and congratulations!

She's learning that she has some power over her life; you want to teach her how to properly channel that power. Hang in there and be consistent! A booklet that talks about the importance of consistency is "Under Loving Command" by Al & Pat Fabrizio. So far as I know it is available online; just google it.

My 19 month old has started doing the same thing. I learned that time outs don't really work. He will tell me no and go put himself in time out. It never works for us. I try to ignore it sometimes and distract him sometimes and when he gets out of line, I try to talk to him about it.... Good luck!

This is normal, especially since your are expecting, that may be even more of a contributing factor. When she gets whiny or demanding, simply state, "I don't like the way you are behaving, I love you but I won't tolerate it", then walk off and ignore her. Let her cry, whine or whatever in another room. Do not react emotionally, she wants that reaction. It's tough when they know another little one is on the way. How you handle the rest of your pregnancy with her and the arrival will make it better or worse.

Normal! I like Love and Logic - very choice and responsibility oriented. Doesn't work all the time, but works often. You can check out a book at the library, and they also have a website. The basic premise is giving them choices so they learn consequences. Give as many choices as you can when you don't really care (like, do you want the red one or the green one...) - give the kid a feeling of control. Then for the stuff that matters - the choice is the correct behavior or the punishment (you can pick up your toys, or mommy can and they go away for a while; or you can do x or you can have time out - which do you want?). It works pretty well, and they start to figure out their choices have consequences - which is what you want them to learn early anyway.

I've also heard that it helps to involve the little ones in the new baby action as much as possible. Involve her in picking toys, clothes, etc. for the baby, so that its fun rather than an exclusion.

Good luck and take care!

Oh, gosh. Being pregnant doesn't help with the patience. My daughter went through this early in her 2's. I remember the teacher telling me that she started saying "no" when they asked her to do something. I was like, my little girl?? Anyway, this is what I did:

1) Spoke to her about it (they understand a lot more than you realize). I told her that she needs to say "yes, mam" when Miss___ asked you to do something. We don't say "no".

2) When she told me "no" then I would give her a warning like this... "Mommy asked you to do something and you need to listen by saying "yes, mam" Then she would test me by saying "no" again. I put her in time-out for not listening. Explained why she was in time-out for 2 minutes, etc.

3) It took maybe 3-5 days to stop the behavior. When I followed up with the teach she said that she stopped doing it.

I also was completely exhausted as we had a 6 month old that wasn't sleeping through the night yet. So, I totally understand the difficulty in handling this. This really was a tough one for me to handle as it was hard to determine what to do with a 2 year-old saying "no". However, I was really surprised how she understood what she was doing; and that it wasn't acceptable. The time-out just reinforced the fact that I meant business. The key is to be consistent or it won't work. Good luck!

Also, I read the comment about the 19-month old boy putting himself in time-out. My daughter went through a period of doing this as well. My husband said the same thing... "time-outs" don't work. However, they do this to test you and try to be the boss. This is what I did when she would put herself in time-out. I would ignore that she put herself in time-out b/c i did not dictate that she go. I always give a warning b/f time-out; and if the behavior continues then I would tell her she has to go into time-out. She would try to get out sometimes; however, I just kept putting her back without saying a word. also, sometimes she would cry in time-out other times she would not. however, i was always was consistent even if I thought it wasn't working. They test you and you start to question the discipline. Stick with it b/c kids need to know what the punishment always is if they don't listen.