2 Year Old - Uncontrollable Tantrums!

This poor behavior just came on two days ago? I would suspect illness.....possibly an ear infection.

Toddlers use food as one of the top ways to assert their control. Don't let her. Don't make a big deal about her eating. Put food in front of her that is healthy and that she has a likelyhood of eating (at least some of it) and let it go. If she eats, great, if not fine. She will not starve, she will eat eventually. If you get upset and try and make her eat she will continue not to eat b/c she can control that and bascially nothing else. This is very common! The way to fix it is to let it go!

Also, 2 year olds do not understand taking toys away or turning off TV as a form of discipline...unless the problem is with that exact toy. If for instance she is not using a toy correctly then you can take it away immediately and tell her we don't use toys like that, etc. When you give her back the toy explain again why you took it away and what your expectations are. If she is being othewise naughty or throwing a tantrum, she will not make ANY connection to that and you taking a toy away. Same thing goes for the TV. At 2 is when they really LOVE the TV and I noticed a bit change in my daughter and TV about that age, so it will be a battle, but you have to stand your ground and only let her watch a little tv/day.

Timeouts will work. She's 2, of course it doesn't phase her, but eventually she will understand and it will work as long as you do it correctly. Most kids at this age just laugh or act like they don't care when you put them in time out, it's normal, but it shows them that you are consistent and they when they do undesireable behavior this is what happens. It doesn't matter if she acts happy, mad, or indifferent when you put her in time out, it matters if you do what you say you will do and expect the standards that you have put forth in terms of rules of the house.

This is a tough age and it won't get better for a while. I suggest finding a discipline structure that works for you. I really like Love and Logic, so you may want to read up on that. whatever you do you have to do it consistently and without fail. 2 year olds (well, kids in general) need to know what to expect all the time or else discipline will always be a problem for you.

Why make everything a battle? Is this how you would deal with an adult who was being difficult? At dinner, place the food in front of her, allow her to eat what she wants and to refuse what she doesn't want and don't make any comments. You will find it works better with toddlers to allow them to "graze"...eat a little bit every little bit instead of 3 big meals like we adults usually do. My daughter makes healthy food available to her 29 month old whenever he indicates that he might be hungry. Fresh fruit, hummus and pita chips, veggies and yogurt dip, deli sliced meat.
When it comes time to change her diaper, let her have some input, WHERE would she like to have it changed? On the sofa? on the bed? on the floor? WHAT would she like to do while you are changing her diaper? SIng a song? Tell you a story? Have you tell her a story? When she needs her diaper changed let her have a little say about when it is going to happen, if she is busy playing of course she is going to be upset if you pull her away from it to get her diaper changed. Give her a "5 minute heads up" that she needs to have it changed...let her adjust to the idea.
Why should she have to sit down for a snack? Let her eat at the coffee table or while you are reading a book to her...let her have a little power in deciding what she is going to do and she is going to be a lot easier to get along with.
The idea is not to teach them to be little robots and just do as you want them to do, but to teach them to make good decisions, to be kind and caring to others and to learn new things each day. Look at each thing you do or say and ask yourself how it is teaching her to be a smartand savvy adolescent or a wise,caring teenager....not just how it is going to make her "obey you" today.

She is just testing her limits. Be consistent, loving and make the rules clear and age appropriate. Don't try to reason or overexplain. She will not understand. When she pushes her plate away, let her. You can't make her eat. Just go on with dinner and if she doesn't eat, then that is her choice. When she throws her food on the floor, just tell her meal time is over and get her down. She can have a snack a while later, if she's hungry. If my kids don't like a meal, they are welcomed to have some saltine crackers instead. My son hates his diaper changed, too. I try to make it into a game or sing a silly song while doing it. Anything to avoid a tantrum. When my children whine, I simply say, "I'll be happy to talk to you when your voice sounds like mine." I don't think timeout will work for such a young child. She can't understand it yet. I would use distraction, games, etc.. to get her to do things that she doesn't like. Also, if something isn't a must, like sitting for a snack, then don't worry about it. Let her stand or just don't have snack. Let her win occasionally. Our kids need some control over their little lives, so when it isn't important , let her make the decisions. I would, also, set up times for things she enjoys and praise her for her behavior when it is appropriate. This won't last forever. Good luck!

She's testing her (and your) boundaries. Our son was the same way. It got to the point with diaper changes we had to have him on the floor and lightly pin him with a leg to get his diaper changed. Luckily that didn't last long - but it was his choice - lay down or we'll do it the hard way. Time outs only started working when he turned 3. It's tricky finding something that works - we just started taking things away for the rest of the day and eventually he got the point. Also, be sure to let her pick or have control where it's appropriate. This went a long way with our son. He got a sense of power and we got a little bit of a break. Good luck!

make sure that whatever environment shes in its the best for her.. it maybe hard right now to take her anywhere so avoid places that you think will trigger meltdowns... i had to stop going to restaurants when my older one was two bc it was HELL!! about the eating if shes hungry she'll eat make sure you have snacks for her and just let her eat when she wants.. shes really too little to know whos in "real" control as long as she eats something... with the discipline i would suggest to try something for at least a few weeks but be persistent and then see which one works... for example if you try timeout do that for several weeks and see if it starts to work or taking toys away or turning off tv, whatever you want but you need to do it for a while bc its not gonna work for one day or one week... i know it seems frustrating especially bc she wasnt like that before but hang in there

take it easy and try to let her plan what she wants to do... my daughter stopped taking naps at that age bc she wouldnt sleep til midnight when she had one... so go with the flow and make sure that you are consistent and persistent with whatever discipline you chose... it might not seem to work right now but you will notice a change after some time

good luck!! : )

My son started his "terrible 2's" the day after he turned 2...it is truly amazing how fast they can start once they turn 2!
Some things that have worked for us are giving him 2 choices (that you are okay with) and letting him choose. For example, if meal times are a challenge, give her 2 choices of what she can eat and let her pick. My experience has been that 2 year olds LOVE to do everything by themselves and want to have some control over what they are doing.
Another thing we have done that works pretty well is 1-2-3 Magic. If you are having a hard time getting her to do something, tell her you will count to 3 and if she doesn't then there may be a time out or some other "consequence."
Lastly, we have found that ignoring the tantrums seems to work well too. If the ideas above didn't work, then possibly just walking away (provided you know she is safe) as a way to NOT reinforce the behavior.

Good luck. 2 is challenging, but also really fun!!!

First let me say I chuckled at your first sentence. I thought the same thing when my son turned 1 and then 2. Like clockwork, on or around his birthday tantrums started! I was amazed. Now for my two-cents worth on the topic. I have dealt with major tantrums and issues with my son who is very stubborn! I have a visitor from our county once a month that explains how my son is developing etc and answers questions and concerns I may have. Some of the useful information they have given me for tantrums has started to help.....but it has taken time. Instead of telling your daughter to do something give her a choice. It sounded lame to me at first but after doing this repeatedly my son finally clicked. So for dinner, would you like peas or carrots, would you like milk or water, and so many other simple items like clothes in the morning (I know it sounds odd but it works), picking which sippy cup to use etc. All of these things combined helped with how he responded when we didnt give him the options. Also trying to make tasks more fun by making it a game with get less of an unwanted reaction from them. I cannot say the tantrums are gone because they are not but we work through them. I Pull my son out of the situation or distract him to get him to calm down. I have a hitter, screamer, kicking tantrum maker and it is trying! Based on your daughter's personality choose what works best. Also state simple consequences prior to activities so that she knows this behavior is not allowed. I have issues with my son every time we go to the park, so as we are leaving I tell him that if he misbehaves or doesn't listen to mommy or come easily when it is time to go certain things will be taken away or not allowed back to the park the next day. It takes time but works. Good luck!

Get the book 1-2-3 Magic ... it works like a charm and is REALLY easy to implement.

I also agree w/ giving her little bits of 'control'. This is the age that I started asking my girls if they wanted to wear X or Y (2 outfits I pre-selected and would hold up to them to choose). You should see the look on their face when they are choosing - they think it's Christmas! Ditto w/ snack and drink choices ... would you like X or Y and hold them up and let them point. Good luck!

My son went through a similar stage too. I tried punishing, reasoning, etc. too but it didn't help. Eventually I learned to ignore the behavior. When he threw a fit I would pick him up and put him in his room. I would CALMLY tell him he could come out when he is calm and ready to talk about the issue at hand. If we were in public during a fit I would do basically the same thing...without saying a word to him, I would pick him up, carry him out to the car, put him in his car seat, and then drive home. If he was still throwing the fit when we got home I would either leave him in the car or take into his room (depending what the weather was like). Once he calmed down I would talk to him about his behavior and how it is not okay or appropriate. I would give him advice on how to better handle the situation (I understand you were upset but a better way to express that would be...).
The main thing is to not give your child a payoff for her behavior...think of all the attention she is getting when she throws a fit. Give her extra attention when she is being good and be sure to tell her you noticed her making good choices (ex. I really like the way your breakfast this morning). Once she realizes she isn't going to get a payoff from throwing a fit she will stop. I think it took my son 4 or 5 tantrums before he caught on, and of course, every now and then he would test it and throw another fit.
Best of luck!