My son will not go to sleep without being held until he is asleep then being laid in bed. We have tried several of the "methods" and are finding most of them emotinal painful and unsuccessful. Anyone have any suggestions?
The 1 mg cherry melatonin from GNC works great. Just give it to him about 30 minutes before he goes to sleep.
Hi R.,
I also have a 2 year old and we have used the Babywhispherer book and website for almost all of my sleep training. It is a moderate approach meaning that it is NOT cry it out and it is not a attached parenting approach either. It is somewhere inbetween. She teaches you to use your babies temperment to teach them how to put themselves to sleep. Because your son is 2, it will take longer to get him to do these things on him own (simply because of the length of time that you have done things differently). He will be frusterated and cry out of that frustration however the difference is you will be there with him so he doesn't feel abandoned. I can tell you it is not easy but it does work if you stay consistent and strong. The book I suggest is The Babywhispherer Solves All Your Problems. The website (www.babywhispherer.com) is a portal to a message board where you can get support from Mom's doing the techniques around the world. It has been a lifesaver for me and my Daughter. Hope that helps!
J.
Believe it or not, this is harder on you than it is on him. But you will not be holding him in your arms when he is 19, so it is now when you have to realize that children do not do anything unless we let them. Stick to only one method, explain to your child what your method is and that it's going to happen regardless. It might take you 2 hours, but being a parent is not easy. You are showing your child good sleeping habits, so when you start feeling guilty know that it's in your childs best interest.
I agree with you that many of the sleep methods out there are "emotionally painful" and am not convinced that it is harder on me than my child. Very hard on me, but I don't knwo how it can be good for my child to cry and not be responded to. My son has had challenging sleep behaviors and this is what we ended up doing. It's a gradual process but it has worked. Oh, and let me add, that I think it is okay for him to fuss and cry a little if I'm there and verbally supporting him. It's really a modification of the sleep lady shuffle. sleeplady.com. I bought a little chair from target (adult size but low to the ground and comfortable) and started outwith it next to his bed. He preferred rocking to sleep so he cried, of course, but shhhh'd him gently, told him I was right there, it was sleep time, etc. All very quietly, gently, and without any other interaction. Maybe laid my hand on his body for reassurance. Then once he could fall asleep like that, I moved my chair a little further away, then once we got the hang of that we moved further away, etc. The crying really only happened at that first transition from rocking to going to sleep in the bed. The other times he'd call for me, fuss a little, but would go to sleep if I was sitting in my chair in it's location. Finally we ended up with the chair outside his door and the door partially closed. At that point I needed to up the verbal reassurance (maybe sang a song or something) because he couldnt' see me. In his room there is a night light so even when I was across teh room he could my outline. Then he got the hang of going to sleep with me sitting outside his door and I finally made it downstairs to resume my evenings as normal!!! That was a great feeling. To have achieved that without on my terms and in a way that I felt comfortable with.
Good luck!
My 2 1/2 year old is going through the same thing right now we just stay consistent with him and hopefully it will pass soon. Im sorry I'm not much help.
