2 Year Old Having a Hard Time with Deployments

I have no idea how to help you but I wanted to thank you and your whole family for your service to this country of ours. I can't imagine the strain it puts everyone under. Please know that you/all miliary families are in my prayers. God bless you all.

The only tidbit I could suggest would be that perhaps his military base has counseling services available. Surely this is a VERY common thing and they could direct you to other families who can share troubleshooting ideas.
Give her a huge hug for me....

My boys are now 5 and 7. We have been a military family for 12 years. From the start it has been hard on them when daddy deploys, and no, it does not get any easier. It sounds like you are doing great. One thing that can help with bed time is to make videos of daddy ready his favorite bed time stories, and then put a tv in his room so daddy can read to him at bed time. It will always be hard, but it does get a little easier once they are older and better understand why daddy has to go. Best of luck and blessed be.

Air Force wife for 16 yrs with 2 boys 15 and 10. I'm on the other in end that it gets easier the older the kids have gotten. My oldest it was hard his first go around at 18 months old. He kept asking if every guy in uniform he saw was daddy. Running up to a few hugging them and crying daddy. Lucky me every one of them was more than understanding. They would hug him back and tell him they weren't his daddy but he would be home soon.
Our next base had my husband tdy almost constantly. I'm surprised we even managed to have a second child he was gone so much..lol Anyway my second son was so use to dad being gone he never batted an eye when we mentioned a new tdy. My oldest son would say he missed dad but never had an issues with it.
They got so use to it that when he was sent to Korea for a year they took it in stride. They would say they missed dad but no behavior issues or crying.
I know many other air force families that have seen it got easier as their kids got older.
So you might find it will get easier because she will be easier to entertain,school will keep her busy when she starts and friends will help as well. If you can arrange play dates with other families who have spouses deployed.

I don't have a child of my own, but had a daycare boy this age here for 40-50 hours a week while his dad (a Colonel in the Army National Guard) was deployed. He left about a month before Little Man turned 2 and returned a year later.

We had a treasure box of things to save for Daddy. Anytime he felt like making something for Daddy...or seemed to be "missing" him alot, I would suggest a picture (some pre-printed coloring pages, plain paper and I also had collage materials for him..simple but patriotic and camo stuff cuz, according to him "Daddy likes that stuff"). Every week or 2 his mom and he would pick a few things to mail to daddy or to show him when they Skyped (the rest was given to daddy when he returned. It was a special thing for him to do at daycare. The treasure box was pretty full (we actually emptied it several times little by little so he wouldn't notice). But Daddy got every scrap he did for him!

We got him one of those toddler, unbreakable type (but really nice) digital cameras. He took ALOT of pictures for Daddy. Mom said it was a great distraction for him to get to take pictures when they went places together. She showed the best of them to Dad or whatever Little Man wanted (let him pick 3, etc)

Mom and Little Man went on regular dates...like once a week as it got towards the end. Mom was tired of single parenting. She potty trained, big boy bed transitioned, got rid of the nuk, etc..all on her own (with as much help as I could do from my place)...her job is stressful and they ate out alot! But "dates" were special. They went to a local family owned burger joint (usually...sometimes it was elsewhere that was convenient). And what made it a date? The Strawberry milkshake they shared at the end! When daddy returned Little Man was reluctant to let him in on this "date" thing he had going on with Mommy!

So maybe create a special thing, like a date, for you and your little girl to do at regular intervals? Put it on the calendar, make it a routine and do something special, like the milkshake, to set it apart from a regular outing. For this mom it was a great bonding time and a great way to work on table manners and for a special pause in their days. He ate dino-shaped chicken nuggets and mommy had a burger and salad...and together they shared a milkshake! I heard all about it every time!

Its all I have for now! Will edit if I remember more!

Good luck!

I would look into the relief society (Marine term, sorry) or whatever establishment helps families with deployments on the Air Force Base and see what they suggest. Also, it may help to have some family counseling... nothing serious but just for her to talk to a therapist about her emotions and I think it would make her feel better. See if next time dad can do one of those hallmark bed time books and record a couple of different videos for her so whenever she misses him she can see a little piece of him. Tell her that daddy is helping people but he will come back on this day... maybe mark it on a calendar and X off days. It may seem like forever to her but maybe it will help if she has a visual. I would see if they have board books to help her. Good for you for being there for her and stopping the potty training when you noticed why it was regressing. you sound like a good mommy, keep your head up :)

http://www.ausa.org/resources/familyprograms/resources/re...

http://militaryfamilybooks.com/productcart/pc/viewPrd.asp...

Try to see if you can get in touch with some other moms in your situation on base that have children your age. Set up some playdates and a special mommy and me time (girlie stuff).

Potty training might have to be put on hold for a bit until she gets back on track with things. Remember this is a big change for her and yes every child who has a parent in uniform thinks that everyone is daddy/mommy when they see it. I have had that happen as well and they usually answer back with a hug or something because they understand that it is a child that is missing the missing parent.

There will come a time when she will not be so lonesome for daddy but it will take a bit and then he will be home.

She is at the age that she does not understand why daddy is doing this to her. She does not understand that this is part of daddy's job in the military. She feels that daddy has abandoned her in her mind even though she gets to see him it is not like being able to touch him and hug him. It hurts but it is part of the military family life.

Yes it does get easier but it depends on what is going on in the world. My son had a harder time than my daughter with the first Gulf War which was called Desert Shield/Storm and they were teens. The whole base had yellow ribbons on trees and things. But there are more support groups now than then.

Thank you to hubby and good luck to you and little miss.

The other S.
Retired Military Wife