2 Year Old Doesn't Want Her Daddy!

My son was 2 in may. He was the same way with his dad for about 5 months. I would tell him that I loved his dad and it made dad want to cry when he was mean to him. Now when he come home from work my son runs to the door saying "That's my Dad, I love my Dad" then he follows him around for most of the night. Things have never been better between the two. It was a long 5 months but they are closer now.

This is a phase. They usually cling to the parent they are around the m ost. Just make sure that during the day you try to get her excited for daddy to come home. When he is home sit down all together and play a game or play with toys. The more they interact with one another the more she will want to be with him. My daughter went through this at that age. She is now 3 and she can't wait till daddy gets home now. Little ones are just very sensitive just give her time and be patient. Don't force her or she will pull away more.

It's pretty typical. Just treat dad the way you want her to treat him. She will soon follow your lead.
Make daddy the hero.

This is normal for children this age, some at least, to try to maniupulate things and show they are 'big' and in control. I would not let it upset either of you although it does hurt at times. Some kids do this worse than others but it will pass although how you handle it will affect how the child behaves with other things coming down the road. If they know it hurts you and you try to get them to not hurt you and approach it that way then they are still in control. If you say, I'm sorry you don't want Daddy to touch you, or want to do it yourself or whatever it is, but Daddy loves you and he's going to do that hug you or whatever it is. Daddy should just go ahead and do it and act as if nothing is wrong at all. Then Daddy is still in charge and she can see she is not the one calling the shots. Don't irritate her by doing it just to do it but let her know you are sorry she feels that way but......Tell her she is not to be mean to Daddy or anyone else and then see she isn't. It will pass though. If it passes and she was in charge she will continue to be in charge in other 'stages' that come along more than if she learns this lesson now, that Daddy loves her and will help her too and Daddy and Mommy love each other and that you aren't mean to anyone.

Hi there~

I really don't know how to help but wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

My 2 yo DD is doing the same thing. You're right in saying that it is heartbreaking to see/hear. DD is reaching a phase now where every once in a while she will push me away for Daddy. It hurts but I am actually thankful for those moments so she & her dad can get some quality time in.

I spoke with a family friend (just so happens to be a therapist) and they said it was just a passing phase most likely due to the fact DD sees me and spends more time with me vs her dad. We both work but I work much closer to home and take care of the kids almost 100% of the time.

I think DD ultimately misses her daddy quite a bit & maybe, just maybe, in her own 2 yo way, is telling us that she is frustrated with not being able to see him more often. IDK. Call me crazy. Call it wishful thinking on my part.....

I really hope you guys get through this soon. Maybe now is a good time to get some time to yourself & let the two of them spend QT together. ??? Best wishes. :-)

welcome to the world of toddler manipulation! & yes, it happens frequently!

If there is no basis for a division of affection, then it's simply the child choosing to behave like this. It is clearly a self-made choice & not one brought on by the parents. & it can be difficult to live thru!

Quite often, children will flip-flop midstream.....they like to play "bad mommy vs. bad daddy". It can be socially awkward, it can be hurtful to be on the receiving end......& if it continues, then it can also set up a family dynamic which is dysfunctional & disruptive. In other words, if you allow it to continue .....or on the flipside, make too much of it......then it will rule your world.

How to proceed will depend on your child's disposition & personality. With most parent/child interactions, I find that humor goes much further than demands/requests. With demands, you get defiance. With requests, you get .....sometimes defiance, sometimes compliance - but it's at the child's discretion. With humor, quite often you will receive compliance & will be able to change the mood of the moment.

I use humor for most of my interactions, not full-blown drama queen....just simply a "pop" of humor. I find that I don't stress as much, & the upcoming drama usually dissipates! For example, this a.m. my older son was leaving & we have a Winter Weather Forecast for today & tomorrow. My husband was at the door with him & was doing the "dad" thing: be safe, watch for black ice, call us, etc. I could see my son's frustration (he's 23 & living with us as he recovers from a hip replacement surgery) & I did a little hippity-hop down the hall, saying "wait, wait, I need a hug". My son took one look at me & said, "OMG, Mom, you're insane"......but it diffused the moment, we hugged & he told his dad that he'd be safe. Moment over, good feeling all around, & he was reminded of safety issues.

With your daughter, try some humor....hug on daddy, make over him....& it may encourage her to "pop" out of her need to divide you! & I honestly believe she does "get it".....she's simply making a choice. Nip this in the bud before it flips onto you! Instead of saying "you are hurting daddy"....say "well, I do love daddy & I think he's fun. & we both love you & think you're fun".....& then both of you hug her.

I sincerely hope this works for you! Peace!

My daughter went through the same thing...It broke my heart when she said she didn't want her Daddy. She will be 3 next month and now LOVES her Daddy and has for the last 4 months! She runs to him when he gets home from work, asks for him all day, wants to talk with him on the phone. Now all this being said, she still wants me to get her everything, put her to bed, etc. So just explain to your husband not to take it personally and it is just a stage. She will get through it and so will you and your husband. And keep explaining that she makes Daddy feel sad when she says those things, she will catch on.

Good luck!

its just a phase my toddler does this with me, he clings onto me all day and then when his daddy comes homes he pushes me away and only wants daddy. in fact i am not even allowed to tough my husband because he is "his daddy." lol

Yes, my 2 year old went through that. She out grew it, now wants DH over me.

If your DH is willing to work on it. Have him get into her world. Sit down and play with her toys and wait for her to come over. She will soon look forward to Daddy coming home to play with her.

Have use nice words. Say, please, I don't want to be picked up. Say it in a nicer tone. I want to do it myself, thanks. She might not get out all the words, but she will try. Yelling at dad and asking him back off are 2 different things. She needs to warm up to him every day. You can't expect her world to change the minute he walks in the door.

I think that's typical and it will pass soon. Just tell her to be kind to daddy and show her how. This phase will pass. They're only 2 for a year. =)

Its normal. My kids still do it, I have a 4 yr old and 2.5 yr old. Dad has to yell at them to get them to come to him. The kids are so attached to momma at these ages. Trust me when they are older you will be pushed off to the side as daddy becomes more popular. Just keep talking to your children about how daddy needs to know he is loved. Don't let your hubby beat himself up over it, ITS SOOOOOOO NORMAL!!! Also, let daddy do things with the child all alone without you anywhere near. More time spent with dad will help them grow closer to him.
There is no "cure" for this, its just a phase.

This is normal. Toddlers go through these phases. I would let it go for now - and don;t be surprised if she does this to you too one day. I would try not to be hurt by it, although I recall going through this with my son and I felt hurt too. But, really, it is a phase and I would just let it go.

mom's are normally the easier going parent not as hard with dicipline, and dad's are the iron hands with dicipline, it's normal